Jump to content
If you are having any trouble connecting or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Iheartcupcakes

  • Rank
    One Tough Cupcake - She/Her

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
  • Interests
    baking (hence my username :), Spanish, social justice, singing, dog rescue.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType

Recent Profile Visitors

96,036 profile views
  1. If you pray, please pray for me. If you don’t, I’ll take anything positive you can spare. I am going through something right now that compares with my trauma that brought me here nearly 7 years ago (different). I. Am. TIRED. I feel like I have nothing left. Life has dealt me 40 years of loss and trauma and I am WORN. OUT. Happily ever afters are apparently for people other than me. 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Finchy


      I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now, Amy. We're all here for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Sending you lots of love and support. ❤️ 

    3. snmls


      I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment. Sending you all the love and support I can. I'll be thinking of you. 

    4. MeBeMary


      Sitting with you. Sending positive and healing vibes, my friend. :throb: 

      You are deserving of a happily ever after. It angers me that the someone who treated you badly makes you feel this way. Be patient with yourself and know you truly deserve happiness. 

      Sending safe hugs. :console: 

  2. I have my post-op appointment at 1:30 EST. I’m afraid of knowing all the details. My fiancé gave me a glossed over version after I woke up. He and the OBGYN didn’t want me too upset right after surgery. 

    I’ll be seeing multiple pics of my internal organs/endometriosis. We’ll discuss the future and treatment options. They did a biopsy. Today I get all the info. 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. AngelasAshes


      Praying for you 💗💗

    3. Finchy


      How did it go? Sitting with you, Amy. ❤️ 

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you all so much. 

      It went okay. I’ll post so all of that info isn’t public. ❤️

  3. All moved and settling in. I’m very happy with my loves…my SO and his 7-year-old son. My dog is adjusting but it’s been a little bumpy. Since he witnessed my trauma he’s obsessively protective of me. He’s nipped SO. We’re working on it. I like NC so far.

    Still no activity in the rule 37 petition. Oh well. 

    Very busy being a stay-at-home mom for the time being. I love it. To those of you who are SAHM’s or moms who also work…you’re AMAZING. I’m busier now than when I worked full time! 

    Love to you all ❤️


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. MzKeys75


      Soak up the happy! (((Hugs)))

    3. Finchy


      Wishing you all the best with all of this wonderful newness in your life!! ❤️ You're doing awesome. So happy for you. ❤️ 

    4. goldraindrops


      Congratulations.  Wishing you lots of happiness in your new roles and home.  ❤️

  4. Remember, my loves, that healing is layered....not linear. :tealribbon:

    1. MeBeMary
    2. Finchy
    3. snmls


      Always have to remind myself of that. 

  5. I love you all 💙💚🎗


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Capulet


      We love you, Amy. ❤️ 

    3. MeBeMary
    4. Angel_12


      I needed to see this. Thank you for posting it. ❤️

  6. Heard from the DA yesterday. The judge actually talked about a hearing for the monster's petition not being necessary!!!! He could just deny it and it would be OVER! I am praying this happens. No hearing, no more anything. Just OVER. 

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you so much @Field8 @MeBeMary @AngelasAshes and @Capulet. I am really hopeful. I told my T last night that this is the first time since it happened that I feel like I might be on the other side of it. 

    3. Finchy


      Seriously hoping the best for you that this will happen, and it will be over! Crossing fingers and toes! ❤️ 

    4. Iheartcupcakes
  7. I have been here before. Heck I have been here for SIX YEARS, to be exact. Clearly I am no stranger to waiting and being at the mercy of others 😡 So WHY do I feel like climbing the walls and screaming because nothing has been done on this last petition of the monster's??? The freaking judge has had since DECEMBER to set a hearing date. Has he? Well of course not. I have followed up with his office (they won't talk to little old me) AND the prosecutor. I am SO OVER THIS! Set a damn date already and let's bury this, please!!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Field8
    3. WannaMoveOn


      Hate when they do this. Sitting if ok?

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you all. I have yet to hear back from the DA. 

  8. Oooooh! Interesting! Thank you for sharing!!
  9. Welcome! I speak only English and Spanish so I can't demonstrate like our friend @WannaMoveOn I hope you find our community beneficial and supportive.
  10. Six years ago tonight and tomorrow. Six years. I cannot believe what I lived  through. Last night was rough and tonight will be even worse. I can’t believe what happened to me…

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Whisper


      Thinking of you and sending you hugs. I can't believe what you went through either and traumaversaries suck, but you survived, you put your rapist in prison and gave an eloquent and awesome victim impact statement, you are healing, and you are doing so much to help others. Not to mention how incredibly focused you were not only on doing what you had to do to survive that night, but also on ensuring that your rapist would be caught. You are an amazing and incredibly strong woman and that hasn't changed. :hug:  :throb: 

    3. snmls


      :throb::throb: It is also six years of survival, resilience, strength, bravery, and advocacy. I wish I could change each and everyone one of our pasts, but I'm so glad you are here. 

    4. waterlily13


      I am late, but sitting with you if you need ❤️ You are so very strong and you inspire me every day ❤️ 

  11. The more I see you post the more I'm reminded of Chanel Miller and want you to meet her. :) Her memoir has been a major source of healing for me, as has been this community. The publicity and news articles make it feel so emotionless and impersonal. I couldn't pay attention to the news articles, especially since her assailant is from my hometown (technically, I've lived here ten years which is the longest I've lived in one state).

    1. Iheartcupcakes


      @wolfennights That is quite a compliment. Thank you so much. I want to read her memoir when I can. 

  12. It's a little ridiculous that I have a broken heart (relationship wasn't that long) but I do. Riding the wave, as my T puts it. It sucks. 💔

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Mimi M.

      Mimi M.

      Awww, Im so sorry (hugs if comfortable). Been through that a couple times. In my case, the rejection hurt so bad, and just when I was staring to like them too 😥 So heart breaking.

      Sounds like your heart is pure and unlocked; able to allow the possibility of letting love in. Hang in there precious one. Sitting with you.


    3. Field8


      Not at all!!!! You feel how you feel. Sitting with you.

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      @Whisper Thank you. It did move fast. At first I was cautious and resistant. He somehow won me over. I haven't felt what I felt for him in a very long time, if ever. My boss said he knows why M moved so fast...he knew what a good thing he had. I guess not though...bc he threw me away pretty easily. 

      @mini.finch @MeBeMary @orangegiraffe thank you friends :hug:

      @Mimi M. I will. Thank you for the kind words. They helped. 

      @Field8 Thank you :throb:

  13. Hi@Iheartcupcakes, I talked with @feralcat and she suggested I asked you for the link to the poem you wrote called mosaic.  I think of my life as shattered mosaic.  Could you send me the link?  Thank you

  14. Things improve and there is a glimmer of hope and then BAM. The rug is yanked out from under me. I don't know if I have the energy to get up anymore. My SO's trauma plus mine (traumaversarys are next month for me) is overwhelming. And...it's mostly his. I am dealing really well with mine. Probably because I don't have any energy left to give to it....Hurting. Confused. Struggling. TIRED. 

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. waterlily13


      Sending lots of comfort💙that sounds exhausting😢

    3. 8888


      Sending support.  :hug:if okay.

    4. Iheartcupcakes
  15. Really struggling right now. In a lot of pain. Can't seem to comfort myself. It's not my trauma but how my SO's is affecting me. Could use all the support. 

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes


      @WannaMoveOn @Capulet @mini.finch @Field8 @AKB @MeBeMary @matts thank you all so much. I had a rough weekend, with missing him since I was supposed to be on my trip to visit him, but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. He is really trying to be more present and be mindful of the way he is affecting me, and I appreciate it. But, I just want HIM to be okay. The traumaversary is Monday for him. 

    3. waterlily13


      Sending you lots of love @Iheartcupcakes, that sounds so hard, hoping you are finding some comfort❤️

    4. Iheartcupcakes
  • Create New...