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About goldraindrops

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    The Pacific
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    Reading, Music, Church, Family and Animals

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  1. I’m a mess

    I'm very, very sorry for your suffering. Many of us here have the same story....you are not alone. For years I blamed myself for my assault because I froze. I knew what was happening, my intuition told me it was wrong, but I turned to stone. Therefore, I decided it was my fault. I think you'll find many supportive friends here who share the same story.
  2. Almost 8 years later...

    Sometimes that's how it goes. I am at the nine year point and for some reason, feelings have been stirred up recently. I thought I was doing so well, for years even, and then I remembered certain things and had a difficult few months. You are understood and supported here.
  3. New Member -- Looking for hope

    Welcome to AS. I believe you, too, and I think you'll find a kind and supportive community of people here who can relate to your experience. There are many informative posts and resources. Take care of yourself.
  4. Recent Survivor

    So sorry for what happened to you, but I think you will find a loving a safe community here. My R--- was almost nine years ago, but I only joined recently (and I wish I had joined a lot sooner). I think you will find a loving and safe community with lots of resources available when you need them.
  5. My Story (Trigger Warning)

    I'm so sorry. I have a similar story. Remember one thing: don't get frustrated with yourself if it takes a lot of time to get over this. My attack happened a little over eight years ago, and I have found the pain comes in waves. I'll be fine for a while, then it will bubble up again (or memories surface), and I have to deal with it. Take it a little at a time and reach out to people you trust to help you. And yes, I have fought the feeling of guilt for years, even though I know logically that I couldn't have fought him off. This is a great site - full of supportive people.
  6. Finding a light at the end of this tunnel

    Welcome, I am new also, and already it's been a huge step forward for me. I've mostly been reading other people's posts, and it's amazing how many of my experiences have been validated by seeing that there are people out there exactly like me. It's amazing. I couldn't believe it. I blamed myself and have struggled with the details of my memories for years, and here I have found that there are people with exactly the same triggers, feelings, sleep disturbances, etc. I know it won't cure everything, but it meant so much to me to know that. I wish we never needed to be here, but there are many of us here to help and support each other.
  7. First Time Here - Very Nervous

    Thank you so much. Everyone has been so kind. I am also sorry you have a reason to be here.
  8. New..

    You and I are in exactly the same situation. I have thought about joining for months, but in all honesty have been too afraid. Finally worked up the courage. I am sorry for the traumas that brought us here.
  9. First Time Here - Very Nervous

    Hello Everyone, I am extremely nervous to be posting here. My trauma happened eight years ago and I have some "blurry" abuse memories from childhood. I have only told a few of my closest friends about it and I feel like it would be helpful to know a few others who struggle with some of the issues I do. I am a happy, religious, grateful person who loves my life, but I still carry pain from what happened and sometimes it comes to the surface. I get severe migraines and once in awhile a nightmare that is so vivid it puts me back into the most horrible moments of my life. Does anyone know what it's like to feel an obligation to be "healed" and guilt when the pain arises again? Sometimes I am caught off guard when the pain comes "bubbling up," because years have gone by. I just try to do what I imagine we all try to do - pray and keep moving forward. Sometimes, though, it would be nice to know there are friends out there who understand. My best wishes to everyone here.