wolfennights
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anyone else hate being told "i love you"?
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I can just about cope with my parents (safe peoples who I live with) telling me occasionally that they love me, my brothers could probably get away with it if it was an emotional time. But anyone else? Heck no, I hate it! It makes me feel really awkward and put on the spot. My ex used to tell me he loved me (he was a bad man) and used to make me say it back. But my awkwardness and refusal to say I loved anyone stemmed from much earlier... I don’t feel many emotions and the ones I do feel are rarely strong enough to act on (schizoid personality disorder).
I hate being told someone loves me partly because it is expected for you to return the sentiments (and love is sadly not an affection I feel so it would be a lie or at least an empty gesture) and partly because it makes me cringe and feel really anxious.
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For those that need it, this is a very relaxing video with instrumental music set to shots of baby animals in nature. Perfect for your inner child.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzrHvwWjXEs -
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I just read your story. I just want to extend my sympathies and say that you are very strong. But I understand that the strength you showed enduring that was out of necessity. It never should have happened to you and I am proud of you for sharing it no matter how painful it is. It's ok to not be strong all the time.
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I was born tired
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It's not your fault your friends left you. Its not your fault your brother became addicted to drugs or that your dog passed away. I know you hung out with those two girls because you so badly wanted to be them, to walk in their shoes, to be a real girl. Your worth isn't based on what she thinks of you. Her deciding to be friends with the bullies or let her brother hit you with a stick was not okay. It doesnt matter if they were only playing, those things hurt and she didn't seem to care. But trust me, you are a real girl deep down, and there is an amazing group of women friends waiting for you down the road.
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I feel like a lot of growing up is learning to take care of your inner child.
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The "true love's kiss" was not consensual. I don't buy into the "princess belongs to her prince" myth. I'll save myself, thanks.
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everything is going to be okay. don't think about all the roads you could have taken or roads that others are on. this road is my own.
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I'm gonna make a tally here for every time I feel good, calm, accomplished, positive, or okay. For the last week, it has been five times. This is the fifth. I'm working at my pace, no one else's. I am enough. :]
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"I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me"
if ok?
, will check it out when I get a bit of time.
I'm not so good at taking care of mine.
