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About wolfennights

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    Trans, She and Her Pronouns Please

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Midwest, USA
  • Interests
    Computer Programming

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17,749 profile views
  1. I just started bawling after listening to the "no means no" song from The Big Comfy Couch. I felt really safe and protected, especially when Loona said "no is a power word." Now I feel embarrassed watching and having that reaction to a show for pre schoolers. But its still wholesome and I highly recommend it.
  2. Anyone available to talk?

    1. feralcat


      🌻🌼🌻🐥🐐🦙 (wasn't around Monday pm, so sending you flowers and cute baby animals. Maybe try posting in Gathering place to talk if you'd like?)

  3. Tbh the downtime and upgrade made me nostalgic for when my old forum would go down for days at a time as a kid. Looks great!
  4. I want a month long vacation where all i do is rest while someone comforts me and brings me food and touches my head. As a kid I'd often wait for My mother to turn on my light, sit on my bed, and wake me up in the morning. Even when my alarm had already gone off. I miss when the worst thing i had to worry about was if a girl liked me back. I miss horseback riding with My mother. Weirdly enough i used to feel safest in hospitals.
  5. This must have been very hard for you to write. As for why you trusted him, you were a child/student and he was a teacher/adult. He was someone who was supposed to protect and nurture you, someone you and all your classmates were supposed to trust. He took advantage of that trust. You didn't do anything wrong.
  6. My disabilities and birth defects made me a stressful child and i was the youngest of three. Children are not little adults. Feeding your child and taking them to the doctor doesn't earn you "mother of the century" awards. I feel so hurt and ignored and like an object around you, mom. All my life. I shouldn't feel more safe and loved by my doctors and teachers and occupational therapists. So many times I wanted them to take me home instead. I don't believe you or anyone else when you say you loved me. The logic i followed for Tyler was the same logic i applied to you. That love meant doing wh
  7. What forum would a post about parents being functional alcoholics growing up be put under?

    1. MeBeMary


      I am sorry you experienced this. :(

      I believe this type topic could fit under a few different forums, depending on how you wanted to discuss it.

      1. Psychological Well-being, if it is about it effected you.
      2. Venting, if it something you need to...well vent it.
      3. Aftermath, if it really is a bit of everything.

      Sitting with you, if you like. :hug: if ok.

  8. maybe one day I'll Learn to stop apologizing for being human.

    1. MeBeMary


      Sitting with you. :hug:  if ok.

    2. 8888


      I need to learn this too.  :hug:from me too if wanted.

  9. might be facing homelessness and car-lessness in December, week before finals week of my last semester of my Bachelor's.

    1. snmls


      I'm sorry to hear this.  I hope it doesn't get to that point.

    2. MeBeMary


      I'm sorry this is a possibility. Sending positive thoughts for many good things to you. :hug: 

    3. Fireflies


      Praying that you'll have a safe place to stay, reliable transportation and that you ace your finals!  

  10. 3 nights of hell, immortality spell

    Light up the sky, make it through the darkness

    The wind will blow, our fire will burn again

    1. wolfennights


      Source is Blood Tears Dust by Lacuna Coil. Video can be really triggering, but I personally find it cathartic.

  11. anyone available to talk or send affirming messages? i keep repeating in my head that what i went thru wasnt that bad. It's like im in denial again. I dont feel like i was ever innocent. I dont even think i know what innocence means. 

    1. MeBeMary


      Denial is sadly common. You were hurt and that is and never will be right. You were innocent and if you don't feel it anymore, it just means it was stolen from you. :hammer:

      You never deserved this, but you deserve to heal, wolfennights.

      Sitting with you. :hug: to spare, if ok.

    2. Iheartcupcakes


      You are totally innocent. Wolfen. TOTALLY. There is literally NOTHING you could do to make someone be evil. There is nothing you could do or have done to make someone hurt you. That is THEIR choice, and it is THEIR fault alone. 

      Denial is common...so is minimization. We can't say your trauma wasn't "that bad," because comparing trauma is inaccurate. Trauma is trauma is trauma. All that matters is how you feel, and all of your feelings are valid. :throb:

    3. wolfennights


      @MeBeMary and @Iheartcupcakes thank you. I have since gotten back in touch with the vindication and retribution thanks to heavy metal. ❤️

  12. got told that i "flaunt my trauma" tonight.

    1. Capulet


      I hope you laughed at their ignorance and stupidity.  That's what comments like that are chalked up to.  Please don't take them seriously.  Instead, you keep your head held up high, hang in there, and talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. You deserve to heal, and sometimes, the only way we can is to discuss it and give it the attention it warrants. :throb:  Sending hugs.

    2. snmls


      I'm sorry.  That was a really insensitive thing for someone to say.  

  13. Turns out wanting to be someone's Knight in Shining Armor is just codependency in disguise!

  14. anyone else hate being told "i love you"?

    1. Free2Fly


      Safe hug :hug: if ok?

      im sorry it's like that for u.

    2. EmptyInside


      I can just about cope with my parents (safe peoples who I live with) telling me occasionally that they love me, my brothers could probably get away with it if it was an emotional time. But anyone else? Heck no, I hate it! It makes me feel really awkward and put on the spot. My ex used to tell me he loved me (he was a bad man) and used to make me say it back. But my awkwardness and refusal to say I loved anyone stemmed from much earlier... I don’t feel many emotions and the ones I do feel are rarely strong enough to act on (schizoid personality disorder).

      I hate being told someone loves me partly because it is expected for you to return the sentiments (and love is sadly not an affection I feel so it would be a lie or at least an empty gesture) and partly because it makes me cringe and feel really anxious.

    3. Capulet


      Can definitely understand that!  I think, for me, it depends on the person. 

      Be gentle with yourself.  Here if you ever need to talk.

  15. More nightmares this semester, almost daily...

    1. Free2Fly


      Safe hugs :hug: if ok? 

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