wolfennights
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might be facing homelessness and car-lessness in December, week before finals week of my last semester of my Bachelor's.
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3 nights of hell, immortality spell
Light up the sky, make it through the darkness
The wind will blow, our fire will burn again
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anyone available to talk or send affirming messages? i keep repeating in my head that what i went thru wasnt that bad. It's like im in denial again. I dont feel like i was ever innocent. I dont even think i know what innocence means.
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You are totally innocent. Wolfen. TOTALLY. There is literally NOTHING you could do to make someone be evil. There is nothing you could do or have done to make someone hurt you. That is THEIR choice, and it is THEIR fault alone.
Denial is common...so is minimization. We can't say your trauma wasn't "that bad," because comparing trauma is inaccurate. Trauma is trauma is trauma. All that matters is how you feel, and all of your feelings are valid.
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@MeBeMary and @Iheartcupcakes thank you. I have since gotten back in touch with the vindication and retribution thanks to heavy metal. ❤️
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got told that i "flaunt my trauma" tonight.
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I hope you laughed at their ignorance and stupidity. That's what comments like that are chalked up to. Please don't take them seriously. Instead, you keep your head held up high, hang in there, and talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. You deserve to heal, and sometimes, the only way we can is to discuss it and give it the attention it warrants.
Sending hugs.
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Turns out wanting to be someone's Knight in Shining Armor is just codependency in disguise!
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anyone else hate being told "i love you"?
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I can just about cope with my parents (safe peoples who I live with) telling me occasionally that they love me, my brothers could probably get away with it if it was an emotional time. But anyone else? Heck no, I hate it! It makes me feel really awkward and put on the spot. My ex used to tell me he loved me (he was a bad man) and used to make me say it back. But my awkwardness and refusal to say I loved anyone stemmed from much earlier... I don’t feel many emotions and the ones I do feel are rarely strong enough to act on (schizoid personality disorder).
I hate being told someone loves me partly because it is expected for you to return the sentiments (and love is sadly not an affection I feel so it would be a lie or at least an empty gesture) and partly because it makes me cringe and feel really anxious.
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For those that need it, this is a very relaxing video with instrumental music set to shots of baby animals in nature. Perfect for your inner child.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzrHvwWjXEs -
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I just read your story. I just want to extend my sympathies and say that you are very strong. But I understand that the strength you showed enduring that was out of necessity. It never should have happened to you and I am proud of you for sharing it no matter how painful it is. It's ok to not be strong all the time.
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I was born tired
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It's not your fault your friends left you. Its not your fault your brother became addicted to drugs or that your dog passed away. I know you hung out with those two girls because you so badly wanted to be them, to walk in their shoes, to be a real girl. Your worth isn't based on what she thinks of you. Her deciding to be friends with the bullies or let her brother hit you with a stick was not okay. It doesnt matter if they were only playing, those things hurt and she didn't seem to care. But trust me, you are a real girl deep down, and there is an amazing group of women friends waiting for you down the road.
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I feel like a lot of growing up is learning to take care of your inner child.
, will check it out when I get a bit of time.
I'm not so good at taking care of mine.