Making my father's cremation and burial at sea plans the last couple of days has been beyond hard. I wanted to help and asked to take this burden from my aunt. My father and other family lives in California and I am in Texas. I can't do much and I hate it. This aunt is his caregiver because of that. It was worse than I thought it would be. I have just been nauseated and sad. I know it's not SA-related although my father was abusive in every other way in my childhood. But I have tried to have a relationship in latter years and I do love him. It's bleeding into everything else. I feel like 36 is too young to lose a parent...and it hurts so much.
Our boy has stopped eating and has showed that he is unable to continue the fight. He has been a true warrior and has hung on for a month following losing function of his hind legs - and someone wise did say that extra time he gave us was truly a gift. But - he's now telling us he is exhausted and we've had to make the most heartbreaking decision we've ever thought possible - our sweet Dexter will be making his way over the Rainbow Bridge tomorrow. I am absolutely devastated. Pocket riders appreciated for the next 24 hours as we prepare to say goodbye to the most lovable and faithful fur-baby we've ever had.