Its 5 in morning here. I've been crying 3 hour straight. Everytime i cry like this everything just comes back all the hurt i've been through. I just can't seem to stop crying. I just want to heal from my past but days like these just set me back.
I've been lost lately I'm trying to get myself together but there's so much negativity surrounding me in this house. I just want it to end. It's hard to do this by yourself. I need help but can't get the help. I feel like a burden to everyone in my family. I wonder if anyone can see I'm drowning inside struggling to breathe. I just want to go back in time to before everything happened when i was happy and when i had my whole family around i miss everyone. Just be around everyone together again i would give anything to have those days back, to hug my uncle and my grandma one last time.
Even though i am down i still have my happy memories. The first time held my nephews and niece, the first they smiled, when me, brother and sister were young the crazy crap we would do, all the fun i had with my friends, when we bleached our hair the first time it looked horrible but me and my siblings still rocked it. The time me and my sister went to a concert together, when i smoked weed for the first time with both of them, and my first time i got drunk with sister. I'm still here fighting everyday to enjoy life.
I thank god i have somewhere to just say what's on my mind because its a big relief to be able to share.