sk8er

Just so you know, If you left me, you have a letter. Or, multiple If I really liked you. And silly me, I probably played a million different scenarios In my head where I got to tell you everything you didn't want to hear once you came back. Of course, you never came back, so my words got eaten up In my brain forever. I don't even remember half of the things I "complained" to you about In my head. However, I do remember the feeling once I knew you wouldn't come back, one so very familiar. A stinging In my stomach and a bad taste In my mouth. But I can't say It'll be the last time that happ

Exactly. That's what makes me feel angry the most

It happened to my mother and It left me with mixed feelings due to the same things that you're saying. Partly, I blamed her for the negligence, but then I realized she was his victim too. It doesn't justify the fact that I wasn't protected, but It does make me understand her more. Abusers can work their way into a whole family. This. And although we hope no one gets through what we went through, It definitely feels lonely that only a few understand. Thank you for your comment

The perpetrator who's masking as a good guy will tell a joke. A joke so unsettleing that makes us question If there was some truth to It. And we'll all laugh an uncomfortable laugh. We'll even doubt If we're allowed to do so and look around for comfort, but we'll find that none of us have the answer, or, even worse, that none of us want to give It away. We'll pretend It didn't happen and look the other way, since that's the thing we're best at, believing someone will take care of It anyways, even though no one ever does. We may think "someone like that wouldn't be around us", s

Yes! I'm on my way out, soon enough. I've been doing small jobs here and there but nothing solid yet sadly. At least I have some income for now lol Thats so cool! what's your second bachelor? sounds interesting

Hi wanna! long time. I'm doing okay, much better. I'm almost done with uni and I've been super busy. How are you?

Truly...

Im 22 now, thanks for saying happy birthday. It's weird re-reading this now, I honestly forgot It existed, but It's something that circles my mind a lot to this day. I've chosen to build my life, even If It's a slow process...but sometimes I've also been putting out fires at home If they rise up. So I guess I've been doing both? I'm almost done at university so I would say things are looking better now. Still burned out, but not as much as before.

I don't think I talk about my love life here much. I always wanted It to be separate from the rest of my healing journey but, the truth Is It's very much Intertwined and In fact, I have always known It was. I just haven't always been comfortable with my sexuality or my sex life/love life In general to share It. I mean I don't blame myself, I did have to hide most of It (having been groomed and all that, I also hid away from my own desires because my abuser made me believe It was a sin to pleasure oneself, amongst other things like not agreeing with my sexuality, etc.). I just hid from the worl

I've noticed I come here to vent most of the time, to speak the things I can't say out loud on a daily basis. Sure, I get some of It out on therapy but I can't go that often because of my income, so I end up coming back here. It's not necesarily a bad thing, but I'm wondering If I can talk about other things? maybe keep things light once In a while. That might be a good change.

So I got tested positive for covid a week ago--( I don't have It anymore though) and things have been really difficult for me. For context I was already feeling like I was In some sort of "lockdown" because I'd just quit my job plus my summer vacations had started, so all I've done Is stay at home. I kinda forget every now and then, that when I lose a routine I get severely depressed. (Like yes I'm already deressed, but It comes In a bigger wave when I stop going out). It's generally hard for me to go out If I don't have an event or obligation to go to, In fact I WONT go out, UNLESS

At home I don't feel at one. Let's be fair, I never will If I haven't by now, but should I keep putting out fires? I think I've reached a point where I don't know wether to choose to put out another fire or start to build myself a life, even if It's a slow one. If I choose my dreams, It'll be slow and I'll still have to put up with poor living, doubting everyday If I can stand It anymore, not knowing If I'll eventually lose my mind because of It. If I choose a home, I'll never have to put up with bad living situations from others, and If I do It'll at least be up to me to change

Very true

Oh noo, that car ride must've been awful, I can only Imagine trying to be In control of a situation and them still finding a way to put you on edge (purposefully or not, It's still a dreadful experience). Im sorry this happened to you, truly. Setting bounderies when they're so close to you Is a big challenge too...I've tried It and In the end realized I still needed my distance and time alone. Hope you're taking care and things work out for the better ⭐

Exactly! you never know, maybe there's no need to know. Of course!⭐