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  2. Never Good Enough

    Your welcome
  3. Today
  4. Never Good Enough

    Thank you
  5. Never Good Enough

    Yep. So many people in my life have reiterated that. It's gotten to the point where I don't depend on anyone so I don't get let down. I've been dragging my feet about cutting them off.
  6. New here

    I am new(ish) - not sure when I become "not new!". I am finding my way around the site and there is a lot of support here. It has taken me a while to get to grips with things and read through stuff, but the more I do the more I realise how helpful this forum is (will be). One thing I notice is that some people say "my stuff isn't as bad as other peoples". I think everyone's is different but equally bad, because it is THEIR experience and you can't compare it to anyone else. It may not SEEM as bad as other people, but it is bad to you or you wouldn't be here. Don't underestimate the trauma you have been through. I think that we (as a group) probably underestimate our own trauma because it doesn't seem as bad. Sorry, I am going off tangent here. Thing is - there is lots of ways we can have been hurt, and have been, and all our stories are different, but just as significant. I am very glad to have found this site and and glad I am growing in confidence to use it. My first post was a bit OTT, all guns blazing, and it got moved (too much info). You will be glad you found the site too and will find buckets of support. xx
  7. New here

    @Holmester hello and welcome to After Silence (AS). I am sorry about what happened that has brought you here to us. I am very happy that you are here. Take your time to look around and get comfortable here. When you feel ready to share please know that you have found a caring and supportive community. I have found that having this community where I can freely share has made a big difference for me to not feel so alone. And there's always someone that is further along in their healing journey to offer compassion and empathy. Wishing you lots of courage in your healing journey. Take good care, AKB
  8. Never Good Enough

    Safe hugs if ok? You do matter .
  9. Never Good Enough

    I've noticed that the whole way a family system functions is by power imbalance. I'm in charge you aren't. People don't get a lot of power in life so if you come to someone with a problem where there is a power imbalance between you they will just demonstrate their rank. If you find people where there isn't a big power imbalance, they will treat you better. That's why many survivors don't speak to family.
  10. Me

    Still crying.. can't get over it.... and i'm trying my best to forget it.. to move on.. Still think about suicide.. how to end it all...how to get rid of this feelings.. But somehow still manage to smile .. laugh... jokes with others.. While at 3 a.m .. 😭😭 I'm all alone.. 😢 and think.... i don't wanna live anymore.. this isn't fair.. why no one get it?? Why people put blame on me?? It's not like i wanna get that things happen to me! Why no one ever considered it.. never ask me how i feel..how i ever survive this depression anxiety all this things... I don't care how many years its gonna take.. but why.. no one believe me... it's not my fault.. i don't want all of this things to happen.. i don't want.. I wanna dissapear.. i want to forget all of this.. 😢 Sorry for my broken english.. 😭😭
  11. That's hurt me

    Hye.. sorry to ask.. why?
  12. Never Good Enough

    Told I didn't matter. By my father no less. This is an old memory, I don't know why I still remember it. He told me once that if he and my mother had only had ten kids. Then, it wouldn't have mattered if I ran away. It wouldn't matter if I fucked up royally since they'd have ten, precious children who wouldn't have done the things I did. I'll never be good enough for them, will I? I'll never be good enough for anyone and maybe that's okay. I'll be alone, with a revolving door for people to come in and go out. Perhaps I like it better that way. I never want to hear someone say those words again. "you're not good enough".
  13. Stress

    Thank you ❤
  14. I am good about giving other people advice and putting a smile on their face including in this forum. I guess it is because I been through so much and don’t want to see others hurt like I have. Sometimes I wish I would listen to my own advice when life throws me up against a brick wall like today when my ex mother in law wants my life to evolve around her and control me. I get so sick of it. Sometimes I want to give up because of what all is against me, but I have to keep going for my kiddos who I do love dearly. My kiddos are the ones who keep me going besides my personal beliefs in this life. :(

    1. LuthienTinuviel

      LuthienTinuviel

      :hug:if ok. im sorry you are hurting so much. controling people can be very scary

  15. New here

    Hi I am new to this site. I was referred here, so that I could maybe talk and share what happened to me and learn how others have dealt with similar feelings and thoughts.
  16. Yesterday
  17. New here

    I am happy you found us - you will find a safe, caring and supportive community of survivors here. I wish you well on your healing journey. Gold Raindrops
  18. New here

    Dear Sheillla, I saw your message within kerrij91's and wanted to welcome you to After Silence, also. I wish you well on your healing journey. Gold Raindrops
  19. Hello everyone!

    Hi catmom, From one cat mom to another, welcome! I am very sorry for what you went thru 3 years ago and the struggles that you still face. You will find much support here tho, with many understanding and kind members. It is hard to have supportive people in your life, yet they really don't know what to say or how to help. I am glad you decided to reach out here, it is a big step to take. I wish you many more forward steps as you walk down this path of healing. Mary
  20. Hi Everyone

    Hi Kam, Welcome to AS. I am sorry you have reason to be here, but you will find tons of support. Reaching out can be difficult and new and confusing, but you have! That is a brave thing to do. It took me a long time to reach out, but was I glad that I did. It's hard to understand what typically isn't understandable or right, but you will find others here who do understand the struggles you face. I wish you the best as you being your journey down this healing path. Mary
  21. Hi, I just started

    Hey @khboarder !^^ thanks and please, do feel free to chat me too❤
  22. Hi, I just started

    Hi Eira_Sofie! I just started as well. I found that is site is very supportive and people can really help you on what you are going through. We are in this together and if you want to talk, don't hesitate to chat me .
  23. Hello everyone!

    Hi I’m new here to. I know exactly how you feel my boyfriend feels so helpless because he doesn’t know what to say or do to help. if you need to talk just send me a message.
  24. Last week
  25. Welp here goes nothing... Hello!

    Hi Cam, I am so sorry for what happened to you. I hope you healthy ways to cope and if you every want to talk I am here to listen!
  26. Hi Everyone

    Thank you so much @BraveOne. This site seems like a really great support system and I am glad I found it. Thank you for reaching out .
  27. Hello everyone!

    Hi @catmom and welcome to AS. Im sorry for the trauma that has you here and for the lack of/ little support in your life. You have found a very safe and supportive site here, full of caring people. I came here to AS a few years ago unsure and afraid think it was the best thing I did for myself, we are glad to have you with us. Please keep in mind your in control of how little or how much you share go at a pace that works for you. Lots of people here have some great advise on support and healing. Your brave strong and courageous it shows in your joining our site and putting this first post up, I know you can heal. BraveOne PS I spent many summers in San Francisco growing up I love California.
  28. Hi Everyone

    Hi KAM! Welcome to AS. Sorry for the recent trauma that brought you to us here at AS though. Everyone handles things differeby my and individually, a site like this is full of helpful ways to cope and try to make sense of it all, even some helpful people who can point you in the right direction to find support locally if you need it. Please know your not alone people do care about you and understand the struggle and are here to listen when your ready to talk about it. BraveOne
  29. Hi Everyone

    Thank you everyone for being so nice!
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