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  1. Today
  2. I have only told people who I thought I could trust. I told a cousin of mine who was/is alot older than me, but it just made for some good gossip. I told a few people who I went to church with and they just basically told me to stop calling them and they did not want to deal with it. They could not even tell my grandparents or help me to tell them because I was too afraid to, but I was loved by them. I guess they didn't believe me. Where I went to school at the time, they had questioned it, but nothing ever came out of it. I never pressed charges as an adult because the state police had completely discouraged me at the time which at that point I was not strong enough mentally and emotionally to press charges. Now so much time has passed, I don't think it is even worth the energy to go through all of it again and I don't remember the details anyway for it to stand in court. Maybe in counseling it would come out. I have worked very hard to put the memories of my childhood completely as far away as possible. CPS kept looking at my mother for the the cause of my broken bones which is something that could be seen. They never suspected I was being sexually abused and raped as a minor. My other two predators, I couldn't identify them now even if I had to. Even if I were to press charges now, I would have no support from anyone. It would be too much for me to bare to face this monster on my own. I would also ruin the help my cousin gets from her father. Her father is the one who done the majority of it to me. In his eyes, he done nothing wrong, but it has destroyed my life.
  3. Hi!

    Hi Katie welcome to AS you found a very supportive sight and there is no judgement here. I wish you the very best on your healing journey. There are many topics and forums that you should find one that helps you find what you are looking for. You are not alone. krissending safe hugsif ok
  4. @Kkhateera welcome to AS you have found a very supportive sight. I am so sorry for the trauma that you have endured that brought you to us. We are here for you. You will find no judgement here I wish you the best on your healing journey kris safe hugsif ok
  5. for what has brought you here you found a very supportive sight with very friendly, understanding and good people. Safe hugs if ok kris
  6. Yesterday
  7. @Disrupted Amazon welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  8. @Kkhateera welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  9. Hi!

    @Katie- welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  10. @panket welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  11. @Bella167 welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  12. @Debbie20 welcome to AS! I am so sorry for the reason that brought you here. You've found a supportive place with friendly, understanding people and there is no judgement. Best wishes on your healing journey. You're not alone.
  13. I feel like I don't trust anyone right now

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hugs :hug: 

      i am here for you if you need

      to talk BLT.

       

    2. Painnbroken

      Painnbroken

      I'm sorry safe hugs to you.  I know the feeling of not trusting anyone right now all too well. :hug:if ok

    3. LuthienTinuviel
  14. Welcome to AS! I hope this place helps you Amazon!
  15. Welcome to AS
  16. Welcome, Amazon. I like how strong your name sounds. Hope you find lots of support here on AS. You are not alone.
  17. i love you friend teleah thank you always bottom of my heart and sunshine smiles
  18. (((((annie))))) I see your beauty, i see your kind heart despite what horrors you have experienced in your life, you are a wise soul and your words ring so true, thank you for sharing your wisdom through your blog, sending you hugs and thoughts of peace and healing for you and out torn country, love teleah
  19. I just discovered this website has a blog. I will try to use it but uhh...I'll probably forget. Today was an odd day. I'm a school counselor so many of my days are odd..usually in a bad way.. but today was one of those "just right" odd days that makes me laugh. There was a weird sixth grade gang fight today among the most mild mannered boys ever. It was weird. Like six or seven of them just decided to beat the hell out of each other in the hallway..except the hell wasnt beat out of anyone because they're all too nice and respectful. So they basically pushed and shoved each other, a slap was thrown in, someone punched someone else's head..it was pretty half hearted but still landed them in the principals office. I walked in and they were all scattered about the room, trying to appear like they didn't care and that being in the office didn't matter to them. Nothing says Badass like glistening tears rolling down your face! Anyway, it's one of my favorite things that happened today because it was so funny. I'm a horrible counselor because I couldn't help but make some jokes about it. I had to put a sign on my door today that said PLEASE KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING AND WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO ANSWER THE DOOR FIRST. You'd think this would be common sense, but apparently it isn't for middle schoolers. They were just busting up in my office constantly, ruining my sessions with some kids, and seeing kids cry or angry..not cool. My office is a private safe space so they need to quit being rude and opening my door whenever they want! I asked our office helper, who is in high school and working in our office as part of his internship program, if he'd go get some mail for me from the next building today because I was so busy I couldn't. He looked at me as if I was crazy, rolled his eyes and sat there like a deflated balloon. OH NO YOU DIIEENNNTTT GIRLFRIEND. He's there to assist us, that's the whole point, to get real world work experience, so when people ask you to do something GET YOUR BUTT UP KID! I promise I'm not an arrogant bossy douchebag, I never ask anyone favors, but I really was busy and needed his help. He finally moped around and did it. THE FUTURE GENERATION SCARES ME. THESE SLOTHS ADE GOING TO BE SUPPORTING US SOME DAY. That is, if they can put down the iPhones and Xbox controllers long enough to get their lazy bones up and GET A JOB. Speaking of arrogant douchebags, that brings me to the Dicks portion of my blog title. There's this kid in seventh grade who is a total jerk..I'm sorry people but it is what it is, ok? I actually like the kid but he's a total turd at times. And he has reason to be,,he's had a horrible year, so many things gone wrong in his life this year so no wonder he's acting out. But every day he threatens someone, fights with his teacher, makes sexual comments..list goes on and on. He's in a special ed room with a teacher who is an arrogant douchebag. He's a coach or some crap and thinks he's a God. He spends most of his time on his phone in class and sends this kid to sit in the hallway all day playing games because he doesn't want to deal with him. I've tried my best to help this kid and I totally admit, I've failed. Anyway, today the douchebag smarted off to me and implied basically that I suck and counseling is useless. He is what the kiddos call a di*k. And now read that paragraph and you will see what a judgmental jerk I can be. If I had to be stuck with this kid all day I'd cry, I'd probably send him out too. I would have no clue what to do. So now you can see I'm judgmental and I have a mean streak because all the guy did was say something kind of hurtful and rude and I immediately wanted to attack him. I don't even really know anything about the guy, and I've judged him. Im an overly sensitive snowflake! Anyway, after work it was beautiful out so my niece and I took a walk up the road. Along the way, nine million dogs followed us. I know what people say...never trust someone who doesn't like dogs. So maybe don't trust me because I'm just going to toss this out there...I don't like dogs. Big ones, anyway. They terrify me. I had a bad experience with one when I was little and have been terrified ever since. Small ones are okay..ish. They're just so annoying and they are into everything and they smell. I do like playing with them and petting them but I don't think I'd like to own one. Anyway, this crippled lab dog comes hobbling up to us and follows us all the way back home. I was going to catch him and load him up in the bed of the truck and take him back home burn Then we couldn't catch him. He chased cats, he chased neighbors chickens, he even went inside our neighbors house! You'd think a crippled dog couldn't be so fast. Finally, with a lot of chasing, we caught him and took him back. It was kind of fun and amusing. We also fed the ducks in the pond. I'm a weirdo but I love birds and always carry bread with me when I walk in case I meet some birds! I have a container of birdseed in my car. I AM ALWAYS PREPARED FOR MY BIRD FRIENDS. Now it's a nice cool evening, frogs are hollering, and I love spring. Today was one of those rare days where I didn't think about anything bad or my past or what a loser I am. I wish I had more days like this. ok. Bye.
  20. Yesterday was my 17th birthday! AND I won my dance competition over the weekend!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Oh Wow I feel old...you were born in the year I graduated from high school....LOL 

    3. snmls

      snmls

      Happy Belated birthday and congrats!  I used to dance too.  Dancing always made me happy

    4. Painnbroken

      Painnbroken

      Happy belated birthday and congrats to you.  I'm a march baby too :)

  21. Last week
  22. Welcome. You are strong and you are not alone.
  23. if ok
  24. Hi Disrupted Amazon, Welcome to AS. I am sorry you find a reason to be here, but am happy you found our community. Finding our way is not the easiest thing, I know, but at least we don't have to do it alone. You will find tons of support. Look around and know there is no judgement or pressure. I wish you the best as you travel along this path of healing. Mary
  25. Hi, Disrupted Amazon, and welcome!
  26. Hi, Kkhateera, and welcome!
  27. Hi!

    Hi, Katie, and welcome!
  28. Hi, panket, and welcome!
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