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MeBeMary

Newbie Support Team
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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Michigan

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    Survivor

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  1. Hi Alfred, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am really sorry for what happened to you as a child and how it was perpetrated by someone close. It is neither fair or deserved. You will find much support here, as our members are understanding and kind. You are not alone. You can share as much or as little as you like, without pressure, only validation. Feel free to take a look around the site. I wish you nothing but the best as you move forward on this journey that we call healing. Mary
  2. MeBeMary

    mamat

    Hi mommat, Welcome to Aftersilence. I am so sorry your child was a victim of sexual abuse of some kind. It wasn't fair or deserved. I'm sure it is very difficult to be a mother and have your child hurt. You want to protect them, but sometimes it is not possible. I'm sure you feel pain that your child endured this. We support you here. Wishing your child much healing. I'm sure with you by their side, it will be much easier. Wishing you both the best. Mary
  3. Hi LisaButterfly, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am sorry for the reasons you are here, but know you will find tons of support. This community is filled with understanding and kind members. Take your time and look around. Feel free to interact where you feel comfortable. You are not alone. I wish you well on this journey we call healing. Mary
  4. Hi Catleon, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you endured 14 years of abuse, something no one should have to endure. It was unfair and undeserved. Make no mistake tho, leaving an abusive situation is never considered easy and you are very brave to take that step. This is a supportive community with many understanding and kind members. You are not alone. Feel free to look around and interact where you feel comfortable to. I am wishing you many steps forward as you move down this path of healing. Mary
  5. Hi Mary, I like your name. Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for all you have gone thru. Do know it was undeserved and unfair. I'm glad that there has been strides in your healing and we are here for you for those uncertain moments of struggle we tend to all face. This community is filled with supportive and understanding survivors who can relate in many ways. I am glad that you have a good 'real life' support system, but it's always good to have extra. You mention your friend, and yes, she is invited to join, if she likes. If she is a survivor or a secondary survivor, whichever she may be, there is a place for her here. It is not always easy, but having others there to listen and interact is a helpful and to be honest, a relief...or so I find it to be. Take your time to look around and know we are here for you, to validate your experience and walk thru your struggles with you. I wish you well on this continuing journey of healing. Mary
  6. Hi Sobieski. Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you have gone thru a trauma and are struggling. You are not alone. What happened to you was wrong and you were never deserved to be hurt. Feel free to look around the site and interact when and where you are ready. You will find understanding and support. I am glad you decided to reach out. It is a brave and big step to take. I wish you many forward steps as you continue on your healing journey. Mary
  7. It doesn't sound stupid, Elizabeth. When one is in an abusive relationship, often times the abuser is controlling, manipulative and narcissistic. I'm sure he had "rules" you had to abide by, otherwise the abuse would be even worse and he would say it was your fault. Do know it was NOT your fault. You deserved to be treated with respect and with basic human decency. This goes for the experiences you went thru as a child, too. Not a spouse, a father, a sibling or anyone has the right to take this away from you. We are in your corner. You are not alone. I am glad you have found us. Safe to you, if ok.
  8. Hi Jayde, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what you experienced during childhood. This was very wrong and undeserved. You have found a supportive site tho, with many supportive and understanding members. You are not alone. As the others have mentioned, it is not uncommon to go thru a variety of reactions, as it pertains to abuse. Sometimes you are numb and sometimes triggered. Sometimes just somewhere in between. These are all legitimate reactions and feelings. It can be confusing at times and this is normal too. Even tho you are in what seems to be a numb phase, it is good to reach out to others who understand. Take your time and look around. I wish you the very best as you move down this path we call healing.
  9. Hi Elizabeth, I am very sorry for the trauma you endured at the hands of your husband. He had no right to hurt you and I am glad you are away from him. It takes bravery to leave and put yourself first. It may not feel like it yet, but you are very courageous. It is difficult to leave a relationship, so you did good. I know the fear is still there, but I hope with time you will find ways to ease the fear. It is another step in the healing process, as is reaching out to others. Feel free to look around the site. We have many members that can relate. You will find support and understanding and kindness. Do not doubt you deserve kindness. Interact with others where you feel comfortable. I wish you the very best as you move forward down this path of healing. Mary
  10. Hi Butterfly, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you experienced and the struggles you have been facing. What happened to you was wrong and undeserved. I'm sorry you are hurting. This community is very supportive and kind. You will find many who understand what you've been thru. You are not alone. Take your time and look around and interact where you feel comfortable. You do not need to share until you feel ready. It will get easier, both being here and to start moving forward on your journey of healing. Do know you were born for better things. You are worthy of a good life and I think in time, you might find the best path for you. Wishing you the best on this journey. Mary
  11. Hi Shield, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the traumatic experience you endured, but you have found a very supportive site. Our members are understanding and kind. You are not alone. Feel free to look around and interact where you feel comfortable. I am glad you found us. I wish you well on your healing journey. Mary
  12. MeBeMary

    Hi

    Hi Gerty, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am sorry for the trauma you have endured and the memories you are struggling with. Being hurt is so undeserved and unfair. You have found a community that understands and will be supportive and kind as you begin this path of healing. It's not easy, but it can be done. We do tend to lose a lot of ourselves when we go thru trauma, I do agree. I do think some things remain tho. The fighter that stop denying is you. I know you may not feel like it right now, but it is true. I'm sure much more is there, but we do understand there are things we don't recognize in ourselves. You will discover these things, as you move forward. I wish you well as you find your way down this path. We are here for you. Mary
  13. MeBeMary

    Hi

    Validation can be powerful. Wishing you the best on Wednesday.
  14. MeBeMary

    Hi

    Hi JustCats, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what happened to you at 15. It was wrong and undeserved. I know the confusion and the doubt you must have felt. The thought "I allowed them to do it" is something many of us blame ourselves for. "Allowing" tho, is not what happened. Manipulation happened. Confusion happened. This by the hands of those that have hurt you. We tend to think abuse all plays out in a certain way, when in reality, there is no exact way. Then we question what happened and how. I'm sorry this happened to you. Acknowledging it for the first time for what it was can be painful, but it can also be a very big step. One thing that I have found out myself is that denial impedes healing, even if you don't realize it. It is brave tho, to validate your own experience. It's that first step we hope will be of many we take forward. You do deserve healing and I wish you well as you continue down your path. Mary BTW...like your user name.
  15. Hello SaraJane, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the traumas you have endured and the struggles you face. I am glad you know that you know that these experiences were not your fault, but understand the struggle to maintain that thought process. I think we all have, at one time or another, have second guessed our actions and reactions. It truly is only the abusers' fault and we need to keep reminding ourselves of this. I know it is difficult when we know they get away with it. I know that I struggle with this, too. Sadly, society hasn't made this an easy place to come forward. Sadly, most abusers do go free because we as survivors, are often re-victimized and looked at with scrutiny. Things always seem to have to align perfectly before we feel comfortable reporting and then trusting the legal system to stand by you. You are like so many here. We hate it, but in a weird way, come to understand why. I am glad you do have some support, but also glad you have reached out here. The support you will find in this community is measurable. The understanding, kindness and validation is here for you. You are not alone. I am glad you have already taken a look around, so you know what I say is true. It still is a big step to reach out and I wish you the best on many more steps forward as you continue this journey of healing. Mary
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