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Pink Sky

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    Female
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    UK

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    Survivor

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  1. Sending love to all my AS friends and hoping you've survived xmas day without too much pain 💛 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      Thank you. It was a bit tough. Some drama. But not too terrible, I guess. I survived. He is off tomorrow, but then goes back to work for a few days at least. So I can get SOME break. I appreciate it, buddy. :)❤️ Thanks again.

    3. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Ohh I'm sorry it wasn't smooth going :( Hope you can avoid him tomorrow and hooray for him going back to work between xmas and new year. Big hugs bud, you've got this! :hug:

    4. Finchy

      Finchy

      ❤️ Thank you!! ❤️ :friends2:

  2. I wish I lived in a little house by the sea with no neighbours for miles. I want to be able to cry out loud without the background sounds of family life on the other side of the wall. I want to scream into the sea and roar with the waves. Instead I stifle my pain, box it in. I don't want to hold it anymore.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you, dear buddy. ❤️ I can relate. For me, I'd want a little house in the forest, but the idea is the same. I hope one day you will be able to release all of the pain. Here for you! :bighug:

    2. Pink Sky
    3. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sitting with you @Pink Sky 

  3. Welcome @Pushed over I'm glad you found us too! It really is an incredible community with so much support and understanding. It does seem these struggles are life long for most but I hope joining us here will help make yours a little easier. I commend your courage in reaching out. You are not alone 💛
  4. Oh gosh, no worries. Never any hurry or obligation to reply! That's a good point about not being in a hurry. The temptation is to build solid steel boundaries to avoid any risk ever again, but that's no way to live life. Particularly around sex and dating I know it's going to take a long time to feel my way into what I really want and need. Anyway I hope you haven't had too busy a week and are managing to squeeze in some rest 💛
  5. Thanks for sharing this Cap. It's so helpful to explore where our lack of boundaries have exposed us to more abuse. As you say the sad truth is that trauma often causes us to act in ways that lead to more trauma. There's a careful line we have to tread between not blaming ourselves whilst also acknowledging where we made bad choices and taking responsibility for making better ones in future. I'm certainly finding the more I heal, the more able I am to look back on past choices and understand where and why I went wrong. The more I understand my story, the more those choices and behaviours make
  6. Can't cry and I need to more than anything right now. So much pain and grief is built up in my body and I can't get it out

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Thanks finchy, I finally got to sleep about 5am and slept for 5 hours. I felt strangely energised today though. Met my best mate for a walk in the park this afternoon which did me good. Hope you're getting used to your night splint!💛

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      I'm glad you felt energized today and even got to see your friend!! How nice! :) Thanks, I'm getting used to it! Whether it's helping yet, I'm not sure, but at least I'm getting used to it! ❤️ 

    4. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sending support @Pink Sky, glad today seems like a better day 

  7. Wahoo, go buddy! I only just came across this thread (a month later) but reading through the suggestions, I wondered if in addition to the subforum for survivors with disabilities, it might be an option to have one for BIPOC survivors too. I'm white myself, but I've noticed one or two members raising issues related to race recently and it struck me how rarely this comes up on the forum. It must be a factor in so many people's experience of abuse and recovery, so I wonder if a dedicated space (free of white folk!) would make more people feel safe to discuss this. I'm probably way too late
  8. Back in my own space at last!

    I'm proud I made it away with friends and I did have some really fun times, but it was an emotional rollercoaster. I missed my bedroom safe haven. It's good to be home.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Glad you're home and safe, buddy. ❤️ That's always a great feeling, to be back in your own space. :) 

  9. Feeling flat and low 😔

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you, Pink. ❤️ I know that feeling well. *safe hugs*

    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Thanks buddy 💛

    3. Doll6

      Doll6

      Here with you too

  10. Pink Sky

    England

    I'm having trauma CBT through NHS Talking Therapies at the moment and have the most incredible T. It was almost a 6 month wait, but I'm getting 12 weeks now for free and it's the best experience I've ever had with therapy. I think it is quite hit and miss with NHS therapists, I had standard CBT through them in 2020, when I thought I was just suffering from anxiety, but I didn't build a relationship with the therapist at all. Some of the exercises we did were helpful but overall it felt quite superficial. Local Mind centres also offer free therapy, including ACT and other talking therapie
  11. Had a lovely sat night reconnecting with my cousin, but feeling sad this eve. Too many lovely people are suffering. Humans have got so much wrong 😔

  12. Day 1 of my new job complete! 💪  Super proud of myself, and feeling really positive about the role. Plus my new team are really lovely 😊  Big thanks to my AS friends for all the support getting to this point!

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Yay! Proud of you too. Glad it went well. 

    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      Yay!! That's great, buddy!! So proud of you. ❤️ :hug:

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Congrats on the job and congrats on a good first day. I hope it is a job that you will enjoy for a long time! :yahoo:  

  13. Hi pat I'm so glad you've got to the point you're reaching out for support. So many of us tried to process things alone at first, or stuffed things down for years cos we didn't know how to process it. But I agree with you that it helps hugely knowing you're not alone. This forum is such a source of comfort cos so many people can relate, and even when they don't share a specific experience, there's zero judgement and 100% compassion and support. Have you accessed or considered accessing therapy at all? I'd really recommend seeking support from a trauma therapist if you can. Nothing beats
  14. Feel like I'm getting everything wrong at the moment 😔  

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Thanks everyone. Just feeling like I'm pushing people away at the moment, when what I wanted to do was be closer

    3. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      You only have to speak with thus you feel comfortable with. One day at the time. 

    4. Finchy

      Finchy

      Go easy on yourself, buddy. You'll get closer when you're ready. No rush.

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