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behindthesehazeleyes

Member
  • Content Count

    265
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    coffee. books. music. nature. God.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

2,497 profile views
  1. I hope you’re doing well. Hugs if ok.

  2. Hi @Mark1983 I know it really sucks right now, but being able to say “something happened to me” to someone is a good first step. Welcome to the forum. Being able to talk to people about it helps, esp ones who understand the hurt and sadness. I too suffer with depression. And anxiety. It’s a long road, but you’re with friends here.
  3. I feel like my life is just going through motions every day. I’m pretty depressed today. The thoughts of SH are ever present. It makes me want to scream. *SH TRIGGER* is it horrible to say I want to scream by cutting because I don’t know how else to speak? im afraid to go to therapy and tell him (my T) this. And therapy is so fucking expensive. it’s All I wanna do but I know it does nothing. I feel like somewhat of a failure for not self harming…like…it sounds so backwards…I have the thoughts. The thoughts go on and on, on repeat. I think
  4. @whitetempest thank you so much. Yes…It really is. Still stuck in the codependency with my mom, honestly money for another place to stay is the issue at this point.
  5. Hi there, I’m here if you’d like someone to bounce questions off of. Welcome to the forum!
  6. I’m glad I just reread my last blog post before this one. Things are officially over between me and the BF. Off and on for 8 years and I finally came to my senses. I am sad it’s over between us. Even though I finally ended it for good this time. Even though I think I truly “ended us” in my heart weeks ago… I completely forgot about this conversation with him until rereading this. This is not the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I was very numb a couple days ago and now I just constantly slowly let tears out. I think I’m grieving the time I lost….wasted on him…the dang
  7. I just wanted to say that I read. I’m sorry that you lost him. I’m glad you’re still holding on. Good job.
  8. Hello there and welcome. You didn’t do anything wrong. No matter how hard that may be to believe, it’s the truth. I still struggle with it myself, many of us do. You are among friends. I too tend to always see the best in people. I hope you find comfort in knowing you are among people who understand and are here for you.
  9. behindthesehazeleyes

    i messed up

    Hugs, if ok? I had classes with the person who assaulted me. It was horrible. I know how you are feeling. It was 15 yrs ago and I still remember how out of touch and angry and sick I felt. *safe hugs* I am here for you if you ever need to talk through it or just have someone sit with you and know you aren’t alone.
  10. I’m hurting.

    1. Field8

      Field8

      I'm sorry. Sitting with you.

    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you. I'm sorry that you're hurting right now. :( :comfort:

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sitting with you too. Sending safe hugs, if ok. :hug: 

  11. *SH talk TW* I want you to know I’m not in the best of places but thank you for the TW. Something you said stuck with me…about how we remember just before vividly but during, not so much. I still remember before very vividly as well. It was in Oct. right when the seasons change here, and now every autumn since is tinged with those memories I have dulled trying to claw their way back. So right now I am having not the best time emotionally….well I never am but worse than usual. I will leave this a dog-eared page for now, thank you ahead of time for sharing. It’s the time of year that I
  12. Hi. Saw that you’ve been feeling down and wanted you to know even though I’ve been MiA a while I can always sit with you or listen. Hugs if ok. 
    :hug:

    1. 8888

      8888

      Thank you!  :hug:

  13. I have been talking to my long distance ex that is my BF again…but there’s this wall. Every time I want to knock it down…every time we talk about something sexual that makes me think back to what’s been done to me…thinking about it now makes me want to vomit… he said something the other day that we were talking about and it has had me triggered since. he helped a girl by giving her a ride home, that was drunk and alone left by her bf at his place of work, crying without a ride or phone in the parking lot. He’s a good guy and he gave her a ride home. But he half making a joke but also
  14. Hi nice to meet you! Just saw your username and thought it is really cool...I love rain. Hope this finds you well :)

    B

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