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I am overwhelmed, I need hugs
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I had a really, really bad night last night. Bad trigger, then awful, awful nightmares. I'm too embarrassed to write about the triggers, I feel so ashamed. I need support
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Thank you so much @Free2Fly @MeBeMary and @mini.finchI slept better last night so that's good, I'm so tired lately. I'm trying to be kind to myself but it's hard. The trigger was hard, and the memory it triggered from the night of my assault...I'm just so ashamed of
I'm gonna try to talk about it with T, but I have a feeling I'll dissociate. It's so hard carrying this
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Drunk more and more often lately, it feels better not to feel
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In a situation where I don't feel heard, and trying to advocate for myself. I'm feeling anxious and scared but marching ahead anyway, could use some sitters
(nothing scary, just interpersonal stuff, still hard though, feeling very emotional
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I'm feeling very anxious today and I don't know how to manage it, I just feel like I'm buzzing
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Meeting with T tomorrow to restart EMDR, I'm feeling anxious and drinking tonight to get the anxiety to calm down....I feel like such a mess, could use sitters
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@mini.finch it went well! I'm going to post an update! Thanks so much friend and also @Not Your Average Princess, that means a lot
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Having a lot of pain in my back and stomach tonight, could use sitters, hoping it passes soon ugh
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I am exhausted and I just need a hug
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Thank you so much @MeBeMary @mini.finch @Celia, it helps so much
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This is exactly where I'm at today, this made me cry, in a good way, when I read it. I felt like maybe others could relate to it to? Sending lots of love to everyone
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Thank you friend @MeBeMary
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Have T today and I'm anxious, could use sitters, need to talk about some hard things and last time I did I dissociated
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Thank you so much @Capulet@MeBeMary, I could feel you guys sitting with me and it helped!! It went really well, we worked on strategies to help me manage my anxiety and symptoms as we delve deeper into stuff. I will write more later, I need to talk and process but it just sends my anxiety up so high, I'm sitting with all the emotions, they're hard but it's a good thing, but it's all just so exhausting sometimes. I haven't really cried about my assault before, which sounds so ridiculous but I just can't seem to let myself feel enough to do it, it's just to much to feel, but I need to and I think I will get there if I keep working at this.
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So glad to hear it went well @waterlily13! Sending you my fave bubble dude.
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Thank you so much @AKB! I love him!!
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Feeling a lot of shame today
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I'm finally starting to be angry at *him*. I don't know what to do with these feelings, I feel wrong for having them but I've been angry at myself for so long and I don't want to carry it anymore. I have an injury that happened around the same time (in a car wreck not due to other trauma) that's finally healing and getting treatment, and I feel like I'm feeling and processing so much right now and it's somewhat overwhelming. Could use sitters and any kind words of advice
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Sitting with you.
Anger is a tough emotion to feel. I've resisted feeling it against my abuser(s) for a long time, but it's such a valid and reasonable feeling to have...after going through what you have, it makes sense to be angry. You're not wrong for being angry. It's good you're letting it out finally. *safe hugs if ok* Do you have a therapist you can talk to and work through these emotions with? I wish you all the best, also with your healing from your injury. Take care.
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Thanks so much @mini.finch
I do, she's really good and I really appreciate her, I'm meeting with her on Tuesday and I'm scared to talk about these things but I know I need too. Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot
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I'm struggling so much to focus tonight. I have so much anxiety it's making the writing I'm trying to do so hard
Send good thoughts please
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@Capulet thank you friend