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waterlily13

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    horses, writing, healing

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Depression feels bad today.  I’ve accepted what happened to me for what it was, I’ve always known it, but accepting that comes with so much fear and anxiety and self-loathing that I stopped fighting and let it happen :( 

    http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?/topic/135280-acceptance/

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      Sending you as many hugs as you can stand, friend.  You did a good thing by finding and recognizing your acceptance, and all that not-so-fun stuff is no surprise - but know that you did whatever you could possibly do to survive the moment.  You are not to blame, luv, not one bit!!!

      Way to go on finding your voice on this.  I'm so proud of you! ❤️ 

       

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank u so much @Capulet, you are so right, I just have to keep moving forward💜and thank you for always being there and so willing to listen💜💜 

      thank you @Free2Fly, hugs always appreciated💜

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome lily :) , some extra hugs to keep you going :hug:

  2. Sending you so many hugs (if ok) @Poppy_, you are so strong and I’m so sorry you had to go through this awful experience when you talked about him not being interested in anything above the waist, like he just wanted someplace to stick *it*, I know that feeling, it was the same for me
  3. Jittery as h*ll tonight.  I feel like I do when the anniversary comes up but it's nowhere close.  It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, like something bad is just around the corner and if I don't run constantly it'll catch me.  Why do I feel like this, what's wrong with me?  Why did he pick me? :( 

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hugs :hug: If ok? , I'm sorry your feeling like that, I'm having a bit of a rough night too, sitting with you and hope u feel better soon, maybe try some breathing exercises.

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Hugs always ok:console: I'm sorry you are having a hard night too friend, I'm going to try grounding and see if that helps :( 

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank u, I hope they work for you and your night gets better. :)

  4. To the person reading this, you are very strong and very loved and I hope you’re having a good day❤️

  5. More pain tonight, why does everything hurt so much :( 

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I am sorry you are hurting. Sitting with you and supporting you. :hug: 

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend ❤️ Today is a little better, so that is good :) 

    3. Field8

      Field8

      How are you feeling tonight?

  6. I have lots of physical pain today.  It's so very cold where I am, and my joints all hurt.  My stomach hurts, my hips hurt.  But my mind is feeling more settled today, so that's good at least ❤️ Hoping everyone is doing ok ❤️ 

  7. My heart feels hollow.  I'm always surprised at how deep the sadness can run.  It's like a vacuum that just sucks everything down, down, down.  I wish I knew the way up and out :( 

  8. Welcome @mattzigzagu! I'm so sorry for what brings you here but I know you'll find lots of support and ears to listen and kind souls to hold space with you as you work on healing <3
  9. Hi @Lauren23 I’m so sorry for what brought you here, you are welcome to message me anytime you want to talk best of luck, you are very strong for reaching out
  10. I would stop blaming myself. I would be ok saying that *he* hurt me and not feel bad about that. I would accept that *he* was responsible for his actions and not carry that weight. I would be at peace with the fact that there was nothing I could have done. I would have more trust in relationships, and feel that I deserve to be loved. I would speak freely about my experience and not feel shame, because I would have nothing to feel ashamed of. I'm going to think about this more, I like where this is going
  11. waterlily13

    Hello

    I’m so sorry to hear this, I had a similar reaction once when telling a friend and it is devastating but it does get better, you are very brave and strong, it takes courage to reach out and keep trying, don’t give up xWaterlily
  12. Hi @PenguinDance welcome! I had similar thoughts when I joined this site as well, I’m sorry for what brings you here I know you’ll find lots of support however, and you are very brave taking this next step to heal <3 xWaterlily
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