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waterlily13

Member
  • Content Count

    879
  • Joined

  • Last visited

5 Followers

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    horses, writing, healing

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

11,258 profile views
  1. I am overwhelmed, I need hugs :( 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Plenty of hugs to spare. :hug: :bighug: :hug: 

    3. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sending you lots of hugs. :hug:

    4. Field8

      Field8

      Big hugs :bighug:

  2. I had a really, really bad night last night.  Bad trigger, then awful, awful nightmares.  I'm too embarrassed to write about the triggers, I feel so ashamed.  I need support😞

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @Free2Fly @MeBeMary and @mini.finchI slept better last night so that's good, I'm so tired lately.  I'm trying to be kind to myself but it's hard.  The trigger was hard, and the memory it triggered from the night of my assault...I'm just so ashamed of:(I'm gonna try to talk about it with T, but I have a feeling I'll dissociate.  It's so hard carrying this :(

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I know it's hard to believe, but the shame is NOT yours. I hope talking to your T helps. Remember that you are braver than you know. If you don't believe it yourself, try to take my word for it. 

      Will pocket-ride when you go see T. Supporting you. :hug:  

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      It's okay lilly, glad you got to sleep better.

      Hope you can give yourself time to find comfort from this.

      Still sitting with if needed and safe hugs :hug:if ok?

  3. Drunk more and more often lately, it feels better not to feel💔

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sending you support. Very sorry you are struggling. 

      Safe hugs. :hug: 

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry you are hurting

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you @MeBeMary and @snmls, I just don't know what to do with all the pain sometimes😓

  4. In a situation where I don't feel heard, and trying to advocate for myself.  I'm feeling anxious and scared but marching ahead anyway, could use some sitters ❤️ (nothing scary, just interpersonal stuff, still hard though, feeling very emotional :( )

    1. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you and wishing you all the best, waterlily. ❤️ 

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      You are stronger than you know! Keep fighting, friend. 

      Supporting you! :hug: 

  5. I'm feeling very anxious today and I don't know how to manage it, I just feel like I'm buzzing :(

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sending support. Hoping the anxiousness eases soon. :hug: 

    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Sitting with you waterlily, hope today is a better day :comfort:

  6. Meeting with T tomorrow to restart EMDR, I'm feeling anxious and drinking tonight to get the anxiety to calm down....I feel like such a mess, could use sitters :( 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Not Your Average Princess

      Not Your Average Princess

      I hope your EMDR was productive the other day.  Remember is shows how strong your are to take on this therapy.  Hang in there.

    3. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      How did it go, waterlily? Sending you support!

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @mini.finch it went well!  I'm going to post an update!  Thanks so much friend and also @Not Your Average Princess, that means a lot ❤️

  7. Having a lot of pain in my back and stomach tonight, could use sitters, hoping it passes soon ugh

    1. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Oh no. That's awful. :( Sitting with you. I hope you feel better soon. ❤️ 

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry. I hope that you are feeling better. 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friends, feeling better today, so sick of chronic pain ugh

  8. I am exhausted and I just need a hug💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sending you lots of hugs. ❤️ :hug:

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @MeBeMary @mini.finch @Celia, it helps so much:hug:

    4. snmls

      snmls

      Sending a hug your way. 

  9. This is exactly where I'm at today, this made me cry, in a good way, when I read it.  I felt like maybe others could relate to it to?  Sending lots of love to everyone

    FB_IMG_1641408423277.jpg.18b9de38f0173d6a14e5f9b5677b422a.jpg

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Beautiful and so accurate. :throb:  

      Thank you, Waterlily for sharing this. :hug: 

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friend @MeBeMary:hug: 

  10. Have T today and I'm anxious, could use sitters, need to talk about some hard things and last time I did I dissociated :(

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @Capulet@MeBeMary, I could feel you guys sitting with me and it helped!!  It went really well, we worked on strategies to help me manage my anxiety and symptoms as we delve deeper into stuff.  I will write more later, I need to talk and process but it just sends my anxiety up so high, I'm sitting with all the emotions, they're hard but it's a good thing, but it's all just so exhausting sometimes.  I haven't really cried about my assault before, which sounds so ridiculous but I just can't seem to let myself feel enough to do it, it's just to much to feel, but I need to and I think I will get there if I keep working at this.

    3. AKB

      AKB

      So glad to hear it went well @waterlily13! Sending you my fave bubble dude. :bubble:

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @AKB!  I love him!! ❤️ 

  11. Feeling a lot of shame today :(

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I'm sorry. I wish you didn't, as you are a wonderful person and worthy of good things. 

      Sending you hugs and support, Waterlily. :hug: 

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friend ❤️ I'm trying really hard to believe that, today feels a little better so that's good.  Hope you are well!

  12. I'm finally starting to be angry at *him*.  I don't know what to do with these feelings, I feel wrong for having them but I've been angry at myself for so long and I don't want to carry it anymore.  I have an injury that happened around the same time (in a car wreck not due to other trauma) that's finally healing and getting treatment, and I feel like I'm feeling and processing so much right now and it's somewhat overwhelming.  Could use sitters and any kind words of advice

    1. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      To clarify, maybe the angers always been there, but I'm finally letting myself feel it?  Ugh, feelings are hard😓

    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you. ❤️ Anger is a tough emotion to feel. I've resisted feeling it against my abuser(s) for a long time, but it's such a valid and reasonable feeling to have...after going through what you have, it makes sense to be angry. You're not wrong for being angry. It's good you're letting it out finally. *safe hugs if ok* Do you have a therapist you can talk to and work through these emotions with? I wish you all the best, also with your healing from your injury. Take care. ❤️ 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thanks so much @mini.finch❤️I do, she's really good and I really appreciate her, I'm meeting with her on Tuesday and I'm scared to talk about these things but I know I need too.  Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot❤️

  13. Sitting with you friend, I am short on words but you amaze and inspire me and I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to endure. You are such an incredible person and you inspire me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hugs
  14. I'm struggling so much to focus tonight.  I have so much anxiety it's making the writing I'm trying to do so hard :( Send good thoughts please

  15. waterlily13

    No Title

    I'm sitting with you friend, I hope you can find peace soon, here if you want to talk
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