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About Celia

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    💙🌸 Be Yourself 🌸💙

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    Listening to music and writing poems.

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  1. Celia

    First Abuse

    @CynthiaT Hello, Cynthia. I am so sorry to hear that you've also been through CSA. It is so unfortunate and upsetting that anyone has to go through that, of any kind. It truly breaks my heart and changes my view of society in a bad way. I am very glad to hear that you signed up for this website as it is a very helpful and supportive place to share amongst other CSA and SA survivors. I don't whether to be happy or upset that my story was the first you read, as it's not much of a happy story, heh. Although, I'm glad it has very much given you hope and a feeling that you're not alone.
  2. Celia

    First Abuse

    Where do I even start? More of a... oh boy... can I do this, or even start talking about it? Uhm, okay, I'm doing this... I guess. Wish me luck!! 😬 When I was 7 years old, I lived in Texas (TX, USA) with my family (mother, her bf, sister, and soon-to-be born brother - son of her bf). Referenced name for all of them: Mother - mom Sister - PJ Mom's Ex-husband (bf at the time in TX) - G Brother - I won't be talking about him at all, so I'll leave his name out. In TX, we all (my family) lived in a townhouse. You'd walk in and immediately
  3. This is an amazing resource!! I have used this so many times for support, help, and emergencies. 🌺♥️
  4. Celia


    A little bit about myself & important dates: ~I am 18 years old (born March, 2003). ~My first time being sexually abused was when I was 7 and that abuse continued for 2 years till I was 9. (first abuse) ~I was sexually abused at 11 years old. (second abuse) ~I was very traumatized and forgot everything of my first abuse up till my memories were triggered at 12 years old. ~I was sexually abused at 12 years old. (third abuse) ~My family found out about the first abuse last year (July, 2020) and I was 17 years old. Cops were told and the court was involved.
  5. New flashback/memory of my abuse... crying for hours :cry:

    1. mini.finch


      Oh no. :( I'm so sorry. :console: I recently had a new flashback/memory as well. It's so difficult and emotional. Sitting with you, if you'd like? *hands you tissues* Be very gentle with yourself. We're here for you!!

    2. Celia


      I'd like sitters and thank you.  I'm sorry as well, please be gentle with yourself too.

  6. People keep telling me that I was in the right to report something (they know what it is). Some of them say that I did what was best for my friend. While the others say that my choices were these: A) I report and she's angry and everything is ruined or B) I don't report it and she commits suicide. Not long after I reported everything and she found out, she said that she never would have committed suicide. She said she was afraid of death. Although, all those times she talked to me, she always mentioned how if ANYONE reported anything, she'd kill herself, and she even told me the
  7. That's sounds like an amazing idea, I might try that one day!! Thank you! I have a lot going on now, so I can't work on those triggers right now, unfortunately. I'm glad the songs aren't as traumatizing to you now. Thanks again! 🙏🏻🌺 ~Celia
  8. Been a while... I've recently recalled something that I find nagging at me constantly. How can something you love SO much, suddenly be something you hate and despise the most? It's very irritating. *Possible Trigger* Well, one day, I had to go to a hotel and while there, I made a phone call to the abuser. Such a wise choice, huh? The social worker and my therapist were SO hesitant about me doing it, but the detective said it might help. Maybe the abuser will confess, right? We all hope for that, I'm sure. I won't get into everything, as it's pretty traumatizing, but t
  9. Ow, if you'd like to talk about it, you're more than welcome to. You can talk about it here, in other forums, or you can message me if you'd like. I hope you're doing alright, please be nice to yourself. ~Celia
  10. Ow, okay. Please take care!! 🙏
  11. @Rachal1 I completly understand, you are not alone. We (myself and all the other survivors here) will always be here!! This is one site you can most certainly depend on for support and comfort. Feel free to look through the forums here. I know my favorite is the Humor and Silliness area under "Just a silly phase I am going through." 🤗😇 It brings a smile to my face and includes a little humor day-by-day for me. Maybe it will for you. Also, if I may suggest (this was something suggested by another survivor here @Capulet) you can always start your own blog here to vent, maybe share th
  12. Hey @Rachal1! I couldn't help, but read everything above. I am so sorry what you've experienced!! It is very unfortunate that anyone has to experience any kind of abuse. However, that is what this site is for, to help other's and show other's that they aren't alone and they have people who can help and relate. I understand where you stand and your position with the police, it is all very overwhelming and even frustrating at times. I can say though, that through time, things will get better. You will start to feel better as well. And I'm with Tsabu when she says that you ju
  13. Celia


    Friends, family, Maybe a bf for me. Anyone I like or am close to, I'm naive and can't breathe. When they ask me to do something, I do it without thought. Whatever makes them happy, Is all that really counts. Pic, or a selfie, Maybe audio or a snap. Everytime I try to say no, To them, it's a bunch of crap. They say they aren't unhappy, When I say no to them. Yet, the look on their face, Shows their patience cutting thin. And just as I am, Naive and not smart. I say yes to ever
  14. Celia


    @BrightSide Thank you. I've been okay, I suppose. I did more damage to my skin than I thought I would. I appreciate you sitting with me, thank you.
  15. Fucking pissed, Losing my mind. I'm definitely gonna cut, It's happening tonight. Gonna cut and bleed, Just as I cry. Tearline, bloodline, Watch it all drip away. Feel the pain, Feel the burn. This is real, And it hurts. I don't care, Cut away. The pain is bad, Drives me to cut deeper. No regret, I'm fucking done. Cut so deep, I can't remember. Is there a vein? One or two. Maybe three, I don't care, If I cut, say I never knew.
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