GreySock

Welcome @uk63 I am a half centenarian and I also find that time does not 'heal'. I manage my triggers better but the indignation and outrage is actually stronger than when I was in my 20s, when I was still prone to doubting my own reality and memories. Most of the people who should have helped me just gas lit me, the others advised me not to rock the boat, in order not to get into trouble with my 'family' (the perpetrators). You know, like 'move on', 'forgive and forget' etc. As an adult, I did find support from other victims and members of the LBGT community (who were much more op

@Capulet Professionals (financial industry, health services, legal services etc.) definitely need more training. I've just come across an article in the Guardian about an elderly lady (91 year old) who had a joint bank account with her husband. When he died, she notified the bank and asked for her daughter to be added as joint account holder instead. The bank c****ed up, registered the elderly lady as deceased (as well as her husband) and closed the account. Her pension payments were returned to DWP and her direct debits (phone, council tax, electricity etc.) were stopped. She didn't notice u

@Capulet I don't know how much of an activist you are, but one thing you could push for is more use of new technologies for communication. I remember trying to help my client try to switch private health insurance provider, she'd had an issue with her existing provider as they insisted on talking to her, they insisted that if she could speak, it meant that she wasn't deaf. She had done the paperwork so that her husband could speak for her (he had learnt sign language and was a lovely guy) but they acted like it must be an abusive relationship. These days, you only have call centers, so you can

@Capulet I can see how being deaf would make it super easy for her to speak for you, and difficult for you to get listened by other people. You must be really thankful for the internet. I used to work in the financial industry and had to get angry when some providers would insist on speaking to one of my clients directly, even though the client was deaf. We had no problem communicating face to face as I would write on a pad and she had learnt to speak, she just couldn't lip read me (I'm French and I was trying to articulate and speak slowly which might have made it more difficult for her to 'r

The social workers shouldn't have asked you to repeat your story in front of your mother, even if she wasn't your abuser. It is well known that most children will backpedal if confronted with their abuser, or someone close to him. The shame is intense too: you know it is 'dirty', you don't want the one good person/good people in your life to think bad of you, you want to keep their esteem, so you hide your dirty secret from them. Boris Cyrulnik, a French child psychiatrist who worked with victims of trauma (not necessarily sexual - lots of children growing up in foster care. He was orphaned hi

Hi Tsabu! Thanks for dropping by, it's really helpful when 'oldies' are there to reassure newbies that things will get better, eventually! If I do make it to retirement age, I think I will become an activist! Is that cat your pet? He/she looks absolutely gorgeous! I had a Black oriental shorthair as a young adult, he helped me a lot!