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waterlily13

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Everything posted by waterlily13

  1. Better night tonight🥰

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      ❤️ I'm so glad, friend!!!!

    3. snmls

      snmls

      I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully the good feelings continue. 

    4. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Late to this, but glad for you. :autumn:

  2. I am emotionally and physically exhausted today :(

    1. samantha2009

      samantha2009

      I hope you are feeling better? Sitting with you if ok? :( 

       

      sam🖤🌻

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      I'm up and down today, I dunno, feeling frustrated about some things :( thanks friend❤️❤️

  3. Ouchy lower back & hips today...wish I could stay home in bed, but at least it's nice out

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      Sorry you are in pain. Try to take it easy and enjoy the nice weather if you can. 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thanks friends ❤️ 

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome hope your doing better now, if not then sitting with you and safe hugs :hug:If ok?

  4. Rough night. :(

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      I'm sorry your having a rough night, sitting with if ok?

    2. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      I’m sorry :( Sending safe hugs & sitting with you if ok ❤️

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Im sorry, sending Safe and Positive vibes. B

  5. I wonder this sometimes. I feel like I've put a lot of work into healing but it still pops into my head almost every day. I guess now it's just a question of how strongly I react to the memories, how much it affects my every day life, is that silly?
  6. Everything feels so heavy right now.  I'm trying my best, but it's a heavy weight to bear :(

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. SurviveRecover

      SurviveRecover

      You will make it through!

    3. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Yes it is. But you can make it. Sitting with you🌷

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friends, I'm so sorry I've been so slow to respond, I've just been taking the week minute by minute.  I'm tired a lot but things are starting to feel better in some ways :)

  7. Dreamed about *him* last night, I feel uneasy and yucky today.  Kind of want to cry but the tears won't come :(

    1. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      Sitting with you, sweet friend :throb:

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend, I hope you are doing ok, grateful for you💜

  8. Love and so many hugs to you friend, you inspire me by your strength and love and courage!!💜💜
  9. Had kind of an emotional trigger this afternoon, I'm always a little fragile after EMDR, but tonight is getting rough.  I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me it would be ok :(

    1. samantha2009

      samantha2009

      I’m sorry there is nobody to hold you and tell you it’s ok :( I will sit with you if ok?

      sam

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friend ❤️ That does help ❤️ 

    3. samantha2009
  10. Having an ok day today for what feels like the first time in forever!  I'm getting another tattoo on Tuesday and am excited about that :)

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      Sounds awesome!!!  Hoping to see a photo if you'd like to share your tattoo!  I think I'm due another one soon! ❤️ Glad your days are improving, hun.

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thanks everyone!!  I'll send pics to anyone who wants to see, I'm really excited about it!.  My other tattoo is a lotus flower because well...  you know :) 

      I'm trying to change my relationship with my body and this felt like a step in the right direction :) Thanks for all the love, hope you all are doing ok! ❤️ 

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome 🙂,  tattoos aren't a bad thing they add colour, having a pretty rubbish time right now so yeah, anyway glad it's going good.

  11. It's an at least once daily thought, but sometimes I'm better at breaking the thought loop and leaving it at a single thought than others 😕
  12. I'm so sorry my friend for what you went through, this is absolutely terrifying mine happened in a car too, you weren't stupid for following him there, and this was in NO WAY your fault. You didn't do ANYTHING wrong and he had NO right to do to you what he did. He sounds like a n absolute monster and I hope karma absolutely trashes him as soon as possible you are so very brave, I relate to a lot of what you wrote and just want you to know you aren't alone and you are very strong, and I'm here sitting with you if you want❤️
  13. I feel ashamed and gross and dirty today...healing has so many ups and downs and this down is particularly rough ☹️

    1. nemesis

      nemesis

      Sitting with you if OK. ❤️

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I think that is one of the things that is so hard about healing. That each day you wake up you can feel totally different from the day before. Makes healing exhausting. I'm sorry today is a bad day. Hope the rest of the week gets better. 

    3. MeBeMary
  14. I am having a horrible night of flashbacks and feeling trapped.  I know what happened wasn't a big deal, and yet it feels like the focal point of my universe right now.  I feel so utterly alone like no one could possibly understand, I just hurt, I'm so tired of hurting :( 

    1. AKB

      AKB

      Sitting with you, if ok. I'm sorry you're having this happen. Sending you lots of ❤️ and 🐇!

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend, I'm really scared tonight, all of my emotions are high, it's the EMDR I think, bringing up everything I buried during and after my assault, I'm just scared :( the ❤️ and 🐰 are so appreciated, especially the 🐰!❤️

  15. Panic attacks are back tonight... I'm trying so hard, this will end, right?  There is a light at the end of this tunnel?  I wish I was wrapped up somewhere with someone safe, I'm so tired of being scared:cry:

    1. 8888

      8888

      I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.  Sitting with you and :hug:if okay.  Please remember healing is possible.  Sending you strength.  

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sitting with you, Waterlily. I know sometimes it feels like it will never get better, but keep holding on. You deserve much better and it will eventually come.

      Until then, safe, long-distance hugs for you, if ok. :hug: 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friends, it's been a rough couple of days but I'm doing better, I appreciate you all more than I can say, safe hugs back if that's ok:hug:

  16. Pounding headache tonight :( 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. 8888

      8888

      Sorry to hear that.  I hope you feel better soon.  :hug:

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Hoping the headache has left you. :hug: 

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friends, so much ❤️ 

  17. I feel hollow today.  I wish I could explain to people what was taken from me, sometimes I don't feel like I understand it.  My heart is hurting and I just feel empty :( 💔

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend, it helps a lot ❤️ 

    3. snmls

      snmls

      Sitting with you. 💜

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much my friend, I’m starting to feel a little bit better💜

  18. I’m trying to ground, I don’t feel good and I can feel a panic attack coming on, I don’t want to have a panic attack, I’m scared :( 

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      Deep breaths, friend!!!  Keep breathing.  This will pass.  Remember - you're safe!!! ❤️   

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friends, it’s starting to pass, I’m going to try to rest but will check back in later, I think I just need sleep, ugh I hate this :( 

    4. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Glad it's passing. So undeserved. Get rest, friend. :hug: 

  19. Depression feels bad today.  I’ve accepted what happened to me for what it was, I’ve always known it, but accepting that comes with so much fear and anxiety and self-loathing that I stopped fighting and let it happen :( 

    http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?/topic/135280-acceptance/

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      Sending you as many hugs as you can stand, friend.  You did a good thing by finding and recognizing your acceptance, and all that not-so-fun stuff is no surprise - but know that you did whatever you could possibly do to survive the moment.  You are not to blame, luv, not one bit!!!

      Way to go on finding your voice on this.  I'm so proud of you! ❤️ 

       

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank u so much @Capulet, you are so right, I just have to keep moving forward💜and thank you for always being there and so willing to listen💜💜 

      thank you @Free2Fly, hugs always appreciated💜

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome lily :) , some extra hugs to keep you going :hug:

  20. Sending you so many hugs (if ok) @Poppy_, you are so strong and I’m so sorry you had to go through this awful experience when you talked about him not being interested in anything above the waist, like he just wanted someplace to stick *it*, I know that feeling, it was the same for me
  21. Jittery as h*ll tonight.  I feel like I do when the anniversary comes up but it's nowhere close.  It feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, like something bad is just around the corner and if I don't run constantly it'll catch me.  Why do I feel like this, what's wrong with me?  Why did he pick me? :( 

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hugs :hug: If ok? , I'm sorry your feeling like that, I'm having a bit of a rough night too, sitting with you and hope u feel better soon, maybe try some breathing exercises.

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Hugs always ok:console: I'm sorry you are having a hard night too friend, I'm going to try grounding and see if that helps :( 

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank u, I hope they work for you and your night gets better. :)

  22. To the person reading this, you are very strong and very loved and I hope you’re having a good day❤️

  23. More pain tonight, why does everything hurt so much :( 

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I am sorry you are hurting. Sitting with you and supporting you. :hug: 

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend ❤️ Today is a little better, so that is good :) 

    3. Field8

      Field8

      How are you feeling tonight?

  24. I have lots of physical pain today.  It's so very cold where I am, and my joints all hurt.  My stomach hurts, my hips hurt.  But my mind is feeling more settled today, so that's good at least ❤️ Hoping everyone is doing ok ❤️ 

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