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waterlily13

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Everything posted by waterlily13

  1. In the ER tonight with chest pains and shortness of breath, I'm nervous I don't know if it's an allergic reaction to an antibiotic I started on Sunday, or a panic attack, or something else but I feel awful and I'm scared :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Oh dear. I hope you'll be ok. The doctors will take good care of you. Sitting with you!!

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you all, I'm headed home, it looks like just a bad reaction to my antibiotic and I should be fine, I'm just exhausted and anxious😓

    4. 8888

      8888

      Oh no!  I hope you are feeling better now.  

  2. I feel so angry at the world today.  I'm hurting, I'm angry about what happened to me, and angry that I'll never have justice, he'll never have to be accountable.  I'm just so angry 

    1. Ceph

      Ceph

      I felt like that for a long time too. I always hated that person and how it made me feel, but at the same time I knew deep down that all that hate and anger wasn't who I was. It wasn't the person I was supposed to be. I didn't lash out at other but I did at myself. When I let those feelings and emotions get the better of me I felt like he was still winning, still controlling my life in some way. I didn't want to feel like they were a dark cloud following me my whole life. I'm not telling you what to feel, and I know those feelings you're having are justified but I will tell you that not letting those feelings get the better of you will help you heal and take control of your life again. Don't let him win.

    2. snmls

      snmls

      It's okay to be angry. You are allowed to feel angry about what happened to you and mad that he doesn't have to live with the consequences. Allow yourself to feel those emotions when you need to. 

  3. My nightmares are back :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      I'm sorry you're having bad nightmares lately. :( I hope that they leave you. We're here for you. Sitting with you and sending lots of comfort. :hug:

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @MeBeMary and @mini.finch, it means a lot💜

    4. Ceph

      Ceph

      Nightmares are terrible, but what helped me when they woke me up was taking a look around me, seeing that I was safe, I was happy and I was next to my partner who loves me and will keep me safe. Let the nightmare pass and know its only that. 

  4. I'm tired of feeling scared of everything all the time :(

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. AKB

      AKB

      Sitting with you @waterlily13. I am so sorry you're feeling this way right now.

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you @AKB so much ❤️ 

    4. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you to keep all the mean, scary things away. :hug: Just know that you are very strong...the fact that you are seeking support, the fact that you opened up here proves you're strong. You don't deserve what happened to you. I'm so sorry for your pain. We're here for you. ❤️

  5. Headaches and cramping tonight...I hate fighting with my own body 😓 I'm so tired of being in pain 😓

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend ❤️ it's so appreciated ❤️ 

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Im sorry your struggling, would you like company? 🧡

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @BrightSide always!  Thank you friend💜

  6. Hi! I'm a bit short on words but wanted to say hello. I understand the need to connect to people with similar issues and just needing an outlet! Sending you support and hoping for more peaceful nights ❤️
  7. Flashbacks tonight, being a survivor is so lonely :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      It can be. I am so sorry. Thinking of you ❤️

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @Field8 @Iheartcupcakes thank you friends💜I got wrapped up in the shame and blame cycle last night, and the flashbacks are so painful and isolating, and I don't do a good job asking for help when I'm like that :( everything is just a lot right now I suppose :(

    4. 8888

      8888

      I'm sorry to hear this.  I hope the flashbacks have subsided by now.

  8. Taking my puppy to the vet later today and I'm feeling very nervous, please send prayers and/or good healing vibes😥💜

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. AKB

      AKB

      I hope all goes well when your pupper has the procedure. Sending you lots of healing energy to get through this. I'm glad that you found out what is wrong and that the vet can fix it soon. 🐕 💙 🐇

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @AKB!!  His procedure was a success, and he's doing much better💜

    4. AKB

      AKB

      Aww @waterlily13I'm so glad to hear it. It's so hard when our furbabies aren't feeling well. Hugs! :throb:

  9. Hard night, feeling heavy anxiety and grief, PTSD is the worst :(

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sitting with you. :hug: 

    2. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Oh friend, I’m sorry you aren’t feeling well tonight. :( Sitting with you too and sending hugs if okay? ❤️

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @MeBeMary thank you so much, I need it💜 @Enigma87 hugs always so appreciated, thank you!💜

  10. I'm so sorry everyone, I've been trying to be on more often, and be more supportive, but I am really struggling and my bandwidth is just so low right now I feel like I can barely function :(Please just know I think about you all daily, and I wish I could take the pain away from so many of you who are suffering and hurting.  Sending so many safe hugs (if ok) and positive vibes to everyone who reads this 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      ❤️  Hit me up when you're feeling up to it.  Sending love and safe hugs. :)

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Thank you, for your thoughts and positive vibes. Sending back masses of safe and positive vibes and comfort :comfort: 🧡 B

    4. AKB

      AKB

      We know and will always be here to lift you up when you need us. Sending you so much support and 💓.

  11. Sending you safe hugs if ok friend, there were different parts of this I really, really related to. I'm short on words tonight but just wanted you to know that you're not alone, and it wasn't your fault. You are amazing and so strong, keep going💜
  12. Was a bit stupid again tonight :( I wish I could just get it together all ready :( 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      We all make mistakes and do stupid things sometimes. I will be okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. 

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I do stupid things all the time. I understand the frustration. Sitting with you. :hug: 

    4. Capulet

      Capulet

      ❤️  Sending hugs, friend.  You hang in there!

  13. I just want to fight everything and everyone lately....everything feels so out of control I just want to feel safe and heard🙁

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      I'm sorry you are feeling this way @waterlily13 :( Sending you "safe" hugs if okay :hug:and please know we (I) hear you.

      Feel free to PM me if you'd like. Sitting with you also if okay. ❤️

    2. Houston

      Houston

      I’m so sorry that everything feels out of control right now. :( You deserve to be/feel safe & heard. 
      Just as Enigma offered, I’m here to listen if you want to talk. 
      sitting with you & sending a safe hug if ok? :hug:

      -Kim

  14. Chest is tight, lots of anxiety tonight, ugh

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. patriciag

      patriciag

      oh, I know what that feels like, I get many of them and have to go to the hospital 

    3. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      Message me if you want to talk! I'm here :) 

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @Poppy_ thank you friend!!  I might message you a little later today if that's ok?  Miss you ❤️

  15. Better night tonight🥰

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      ❤️ I'm so glad, friend!!!!

    3. snmls

      snmls

      I'm glad you're feeling better. Hopefully the good feelings continue. 

    4. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Late to this, but glad for you. :autumn:

  16. I am emotionally and physically exhausted today :(

    1. samantha2009

      samantha2009

      I hope you are feeling better? Sitting with you if ok? :( 

       

      sam🖤🌻

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      I'm up and down today, I dunno, feeling frustrated about some things :( thanks friend❤️❤️

  17. Ouchy lower back & hips today...wish I could stay home in bed, but at least it's nice out

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      Sorry you are in pain. Try to take it easy and enjoy the nice weather if you can. 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thanks friends ❤️ 

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome hope your doing better now, if not then sitting with you and safe hugs :hug:If ok?

  18. Rough night. :(

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      I'm sorry your having a rough night, sitting with if ok?

    2. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      I’m sorry :( Sending safe hugs & sitting with you if ok ❤️

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Im sorry, sending Safe and Positive vibes. B

  19. I wonder this sometimes. I feel like I've put a lot of work into healing but it still pops into my head almost every day. I guess now it's just a question of how strongly I react to the memories, how much it affects my every day life, is that silly?
  20. Everything feels so heavy right now.  I'm trying my best, but it's a heavy weight to bear :(

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. SurviveRecover

      SurviveRecover

      You will make it through!

    3. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Yes it is. But you can make it. Sitting with you🌷

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friends, I'm so sorry I've been so slow to respond, I've just been taking the week minute by minute.  I'm tired a lot but things are starting to feel better in some ways :)

  21. Dreamed about *him* last night, I feel uneasy and yucky today.  Kind of want to cry but the tears won't come :(

    1. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      Sitting with you, sweet friend :throb:

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friend, I hope you are doing ok, grateful for you💜

  22. Love and so many hugs to you friend, you inspire me by your strength and love and courage!!💜💜
  23. Had kind of an emotional trigger this afternoon, I'm always a little fragile after EMDR, but tonight is getting rough.  I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me it would be ok :(

    1. samantha2009

      samantha2009

      I’m sorry there is nobody to hold you and tell you it’s ok :( I will sit with you if ok?

      sam

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friend ❤️ That does help ❤️ 

    3. samantha2009
  24. Having an ok day today for what feels like the first time in forever!  I'm getting another tattoo on Tuesday and am excited about that :)

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Capulet

      Capulet

      Sounds awesome!!!  Hoping to see a photo if you'd like to share your tattoo!  I think I'm due another one soon! ❤️ Glad your days are improving, hun.

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thanks everyone!!  I'll send pics to anyone who wants to see, I'm really excited about it!.  My other tattoo is a lotus flower because well...  you know :) 

      I'm trying to change my relationship with my body and this felt like a step in the right direction :) Thanks for all the love, hope you all are doing ok! ❤️ 

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome 🙂,  tattoos aren't a bad thing they add colour, having a pretty rubbish time right now so yeah, anyway glad it's going good.

  25. It's an at least once daily thought, but sometimes I'm better at breaking the thought loop and leaving it at a single thought than others 😕
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