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Everything posted by Iheartcupcakes

  1. Emily Doe...the survivor of Brock Turner, has named herself. Be warned of a flurry of news coverage. I am being tagged in it everywhere, and I can't deal. She named herself for the EXACT same reasons I did. I made the media publish my name because my name is NOT victim, complainant, accuser, or alleged anything. Me asserting, "My name is Amy Stanley!" actually became the title of one piece. Crying in my office at work now after being tagged and reading. I can't take away her pain...and I can't take away mine. Feeling helpless and broken. 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. goldraindrops


      I thought about you when I read about her today.  I think both of you are amazing.  

      So courageous of both of you to do what you've done for the sake of others.

    3. Iheartcupcakes


      @Whisper I have no words for what you wrote. THANK YOU. Just what I needed to hear. Teary-eyed in a very good way. I will do as you suggested. We will see what comes of it :throb:

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      @goldraindrops Thank you so very much. Others have said they thought of me, too, and that's humbling. 

  2. Returning

    Welcome back, friend
  3. Glad to find this place

    Welcome, sister. I am so sorry for what happened to you, but I am also glad you found us. We're so happy to have you with us. I hope you find as much love and support here as you need
  4. Threatened 38 years later

    I am so very sorry for what happened and I am enraged at the fact that you are being threatened and that they are trying to silence you. Keyword...TRYING. You can speak as freely here as you want to. We are here to listen Amy
  5. Hello dear AS family, Thankfully, the conversation around sexual violence has begun to grow and change. Movements like #metoo have been at the forefront. Because of this, we feel it is important to discuss it. By all means, you are allowed to have your own feelings about the movement. We 100% support your decision to participate, abstain, support, or criticize. Like anything in life, #metoo has its own issues. We are aware that it is not perfect. We also want After Silence to be a safe place to have tough conversations. As is noted in the very name of this forum, we never want to silence anyone. We encourage free expression and discussion. However, we have to speak up when it comes to the point that we begin to compare, and thus invalidate, other's experiences. After Silence will be a place where we offer unconditional support, acceptance, and validation. So, it is important that we do not compare trauma in the context that one is lesser than the other. While it is perfectly normal to have thoughts about one's experiences versus your own, it is never okay to deem someone's experiences, feelings, or trauma as less than yours. We choose to identify with people who are hurting. We are mostly all survivors here, and we gain support and understanding through shared experiences and feelings. These very things should unite rather than divide us. Remember that generally, we have no knowledge of the background, context, or history of any survivor. Even someone you know well may keep details and experiences private. Therefore, we need to be especially careful not to judge someone's reaction to trauma, level of suffering, or anything of that nature. For example, someone who has been raped is no more legitimate than someone who has been groped. Someone who is catcalled on the street may suffer every bit as much as someone who has been sexually assaulted. Simply put, trauma is trauma is trauma. The #metoo movement began by including EVERYONE who has suffered any type of sexual trauma, from harassment to rape. While Alyssa Milano did not begin the movement, which was started by Tarana Burke, she brought it more into the spotlight with those very words. Here at AS, we hold the same perspective. Anyone who is a survivor of ANY type of trauma is welcomed and supported here. AS does not gauge anyone's trauma nor do we decide who is qualified to use #metoo. That is an individual choice that belongs to a survivor alone. Survivor, you are valid. No matter what you have or have not experienced, YOU ARE VALID. Your pain, feelings, and your experiences are valid. Thank you for taking the time to read this. AS Moderator Team
  6. Hi and Thank you

    You've come to the right place We hear you and we see you. Welcome!
  7. I found this site

    Hi, J. Put whatever you feel, or say nothing at all and just read others' posts, if you wish. There is absolutely no pressure. We are here for you in whatever capacity you need. Welcome!
  8. Noob

    Hi Deadbolts! I am so sorry you were hurt. You didn't deserve it, and I wish it had never happened to you. You are not alone. We are here for you.
  9. Installment Two: The Party

    That woman is one I proudly love and call friend. You're amazing and I am so sorry.
  10. Here for myself and my daughter

    I am sure you will be of tremendous help to us We all give and receive, and that is how we support either other. I am so sorry to hear what you both have been through. I am glad to meet you, though
  11. Still feeling it after 9 years

    Hi Mel I am so sorry for what you endured. We are here for you.
  12. Newbie

    Speaking English as a second language is a badge of honor! English is not an easy language, and you speak another besides! That's awesome. No one will judge you here I am so sorry for what happened to you. Welcome to our community.
  13. 5 Words To Your Perpetrator

    I posted here way back when. Five new words... How is prison treating you? Is it worth it now? You awoke a sleeping dragon. You really f**ked up, Monster. I am stronger than you.
  14. No SSL cert on this Forum?

  15. "God don't like ugly!"

    I feel really badly for your sister. I've been there, just not with children. IMO she is better off without him, but like you said before, that's between the two of them. YES! They are not and he doesn't deserve that benefit.
  16. "God don't like ugly!"

    I will never understand people like that, friend. The other woman is the skank but not him? If he gets away from her he will find another. We all know that. Cheating is something inside the cheater and it has nothing to do with not being around one woman. If he wants to cheat, he will whenever, wherever. I am so sorry you have to put up with that. I am glad you stand your ground and protect yourself with that boundary. He doesn't deserve you or your peace.
  17. Hello Again

    Hey, Love! AS is lucky to have you.
  18. Getting ready for SAAM 2019! Teal nails done with the powder I collaborated on with a creator/business owner. It’s so special to me. #tealismypowercolor 



    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Whisper


      The necklace itself is nice. There is just something about the image of a chain around your hand and fingers in the context of SA that hits me wrong. Your nails say empowerment, but the chain makes me think of the opposite. No worries though because your nails are awesome and it's just a photo -- when you wear your necklace it is totally different. Also, it seems that nobody else is reacting to it as I did. Seems my brain often thinks the opposite of how everyone else's does.

    3. Iheartcupcakes


      I understand, @Whisper. I can see what you are saying. I am wearing it today so it looks better :throb:

    4. Whisper
  19. Making my father's cremation and burial at sea plans the last couple of days has been beyond hard. I wanted to help and asked to take this burden from my aunt. My father and other family lives in California and I am in Texas. I can't do much and I hate it. This aunt is his caregiver because of that. It was worse than I thought it would be. I have just been nauseated and sad. I know it's not SA-related although my father was abusive in every other way in my childhood. But I have tried to have a relationship in latter years and I do love him. It's bleeding into everything else. I feel like 36 is too young to lose a parent...and it hurts so much. 

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Whisper


      I'm sorry you are hurting, Amy. Sitting with you. :comfort:

    3. Silentnomore5


      Hugs  if ok we are all here for u always

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you both :throb:

  20. "Demons"

    I am so sorry. I am happy that you blocked him so that it won't happen again. I can't believe your brother has not done the same. I know that hurts you. He isn't happy...I promise you that. Reading your description of his life tells me that.
  21. I’m sorry for being MIA lately. With the anniversary dates, falling on thanksgiving day no less, and the appeal possibly expiring or moving forward at the same time, I haven’t been much good to anyone, even myself. I just want you all to know how special you are to me and that I’m comitted and grateful for AS. 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. MzKeys75


      Glad you’re feeling better. (((Hugs)))

    3. Iheartcupcakes
    4. lexip


      You have so much going on take care of yourself right now ❤️

  22. Appeal deadline is supposedly the 17th, which is a weekend so I guess it is the 19th. Five more days. Nothing has been done in a year. A year ago today, the court reporter finished compiling the transcript for the defense. They picked it up on 12/6/17 and that was it. I am afraid they will blindside me again like they did continually during the course of the hearings and fight to get to trial. I hope and pray it comes and goes without incident and that this will be truly over. I am going to email the prosecutor on 11/19 and ask if it is over. 

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. HiddenHeart


      Thinking of you tonight & hoping yesterday passed without anything being filed. 

    3. Hoping8


      Echoing @HiddenHeart.  I am thinking of you.

    4. Whisper


      Still thinking of you through your anniversary days. Sending strength.

  23. Too much pain. Too much sadness. Too much heartbreak. Too much everything. 

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Hoping8


      I am so sorry.  I will hold some of it with you.  I wish I could do more, but I am sending you love and peace, and feeling some of the sorrow with you.  There there, there there....

    3. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you :throb: I have a new foster dog and has added some love and sunshine. I am just exhausted. 

    4. Ian37


      Amy, just remember that exhaustion means you are still moving. Even when it may not always seem this way. Nor be nearly quick enough.


  24. I want to die

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way. May I ask if you are on medication? I say this because I was there and my doctor changed my meds and I am feeling better now. I wonder if you could get some relief that way. I also don't know how you feel about therapy, but it has been a lifesaver for me. I go weekly. Please don't ever be afraid to reach out for help when you need it. 1-800-656-4673 is for RAINN, and there is 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone when you are feeling suicidal. These are available 24/7. We are here, too.
  25. Has anyone ever tried Pristiq for the treatment of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. BraveOne


      @Iheartcupcakes... I was on wellbutrin for about 2 weeks had a major issue in which I became super paranoid over everything... The dr took me off of it and told me never to try it again.

    3. Whisper


      I don't have any experience with Pristiq, but I'm sitting with you. You've come a long way in the last 3 years and have so many great things ahead of you. :console:

    4. Iheartcupcakes


      Thank you all. I’m feeling better. 

      @Whisper thank you so much. I needed to hear that.