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Ghostly Lilian

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    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Confused

    Hi kate. i wish I could write something a bit more enlightened, but in these last few days I'm overly tired. Thanks for your words and nice to meet you It really isn't helpful constantly comparing myself to others to measure if I'm worthy, I know... I don't know how else to understand it though
  2. Confused

    Aw thanks to both of you HonestHeart I am already starting to feel unwelcome and not fitting actually Not anyone's fault, it's just chronic. I'm trying o deal with this, I know it probably isn't true. Nothing and no one gave me a reason to think so. I just feel like I'm writing a lot, and writing stupid things or maybe hurtful ones and people will get fed up with me "I'm not smart enough" you know, "I secretly want to hurt people without even knowing it" and so on But I'll deal with it, I can do it PS: that's the cutest thing ever :3
  3. Confused

    Thank you @MeBeMary, and thanks again to all of you. I feel a little better now. The more I explore the forums, the more I feel home. I deeply understand so many posts, it definitely seems like I do share something with the community
  4. Confused

    Thank you struggling
  5. Confused

    Thank you so much to both of you. Problem is... There were so many things in my life that make me feel bad also in the present, and I really don't know if one of them is what I'm confused about. Maybe I'm feeling in need of support for other things, or maybe, on the opposite side, I still don't realize the impact it had on me because my head refuses to. I don't really know what to think, and I feel really ashamed right now, for getting all this comprehension, kindness and support from people that really suffer and really struggle. What if I am wrong and nothing happened? If someone other wrote this, I would think he would be talking like the typical gaslightening victim, but I feel so guilty that I could really give it up and run away as fast as I can. Ok, I wrote it. I feel I have absolutely no right to sneak in there and seek validation or support from people who went through such big and real and delicate troubles and to pretend I am one of them. Do I really need to? Was I really hurt so bad? But yet, something happened, damn it. Maybe I just need some more time to realize it.
  6. Confused

    Hi, I'm new and..... I don't even know if I belong here. I still feel guilty for labeling myself as "survivor" when I sent my request for joining the community. I'm confused about what happened to me and I don't want to seem disrespectful towards anyone there if it should turn out that I'm just... taking it too seriously, that's it. I'm 22, Not from an English speaking country, so I apologize in advance if it may take a lot of time and energy for me to read and answer to a thread or a message, which won't surely be written in my native language. Anyway, just to make this post less depressing and less like a huge apology, I'll say something ordinary about myself I have lots of interests, especially in art, drama (acting, theater, that one), but I like to talk about and learn things about ancient history, geology, biology and astronomy. But my big love is psychology, and related neuroscience. I also enjoy dealing with children so much! I love fantasy and dragons and yes, I'm sort of a goth, and I joke with children a lot around this, they usually find it peculiar and funny. Some of the youngest ones are sometimes a little scared at first, but they overcome it quickly Thanks for reading
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