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i want to die

i cant stand the constant pain in my head anymore. i would rather be dead then feel this way. and no one understands. no one on here understands no one in my life understands. everyone keeps telling my to go and see a therapist... i cant afford one. and i've already seen several and they didn't help much. my last one just made me feel worse. everyone keeps telling me that i need medication. i've been on all of them and they all made me sick. everyone keeps telling me it'll get better but it neve

CrimsonRegrets

CrimsonRegrets

 

I want to die

I don't understand why people keep living. I don't get it. I don't know why they do things or why they enjoy things. I enjoy nothing. I'll have a brief moment of respite only for it to come back again. Just this horrible feeling like my insides are rotting away and I'm slowly dying. Life isn't worth living like this but I'm too afraid to kill myself. I wish I could. I feel like i would be better off. Life is just too hard. I don't really believe that things get better. I think they can but life'

CrimsonRegrets

CrimsonRegrets

 

Don't Care for Sex

I doubt anyone will really read this but I decided to blog about it anyway. I have no interest in sex. I never have. To me sex is just gross and pointless and i really don't get people's obsession and preoccupations with it. I have sexual feelings sometimes but there very rare and if anything i just find them annoying not pleasurable or interesting. I know some people will probably jump to conclusions and assume it has to do with whatever happened to me as a child but I really don't think so. I

CrimsonRegrets

CrimsonRegrets

 

Done with Therapy/Healing on my Own

I've recently made the decision to stop seeking therapy. I've attempted therapy so many times only for it all to fail. I feel like most therapists are extremely inadequate. The first therapist i saw when i was 13 suggested I walk alone downtown in order to overcome my social anxiety. I mean most adults don't even go by themselves let alone a child. The crime rate in there is bad. And then she made me cry in one session. I ran out of the room sobbing because she said something that upset me so ba

CrimsonRegrets

CrimsonRegrets

 

My Kitty Died

A couple of days ago I started caring for a little kitten that I found outside. He was the most adorable kitten ever.I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was super fluffy and his eyes were two different colors one blue and one green and he would always cuddle with me while i sat on the sofa. This morning he became completely unresponsive and a couple of hour later he died. I'm thinking he probably caught some disease from being outside around a bunch of sick cats. It just breaks my h

CrimsonRegrets

CrimsonRegrets

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