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    reading, videogames, making music, animals, art, piano, punk culture

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  1. @Survivor AmyThanks. Sorry you feel the same. I'm having a rough day today so your response makes me feel a bit better. I always feel like im the only one that feels this way so knowing that somebody else feels similar makes me feel less alone.
  2. CrimsonRegrets

    i want to die

    i cant stand the constant pain in my head anymore. i would rather be dead then feel this way. and no one understands. no one on here understands no one in my life understands. everyone keeps telling my to go and see a therapist... i cant afford one. and i've already seen several and they didn't help much. my last one just made me feel worse. everyone keeps telling me that i need medication. i've been on all of them and they all made me sick. everyone keeps telling me it'll get better but it never does. i've been suffering for eleven years and it's never gotten better its gotten worse. they kee
  3. CrimsonRegrets

    I want to die

    I don't understand why people keep living. I don't get it. I don't know why they do things or why they enjoy things. I enjoy nothing. I'll have a brief moment of respite only for it to come back again. Just this horrible feeling like my insides are rotting away and I'm slowly dying. Life isn't worth living like this but I'm too afraid to kill myself. I wish I could. I feel like i would be better off. Life is just too hard. I don't really believe that things get better. I think they can but life's problems and difficulties never really go away. Especially for people who don't have money it's ev
  4. I doubt anyone will really read this but I decided to blog about it anyway. I have no interest in sex. I never have. To me sex is just gross and pointless and i really don't get people's obsession and preoccupations with it. I have sexual feelings sometimes but there very rare and if anything i just find them annoying not pleasurable or interesting. I know some people will probably jump to conclusions and assume it has to do with whatever happened to me as a child but I really don't think so. I feel like it's just the way I am. I could honestly go my whole life never having sex or being in a r
  5. I've recently made the decision to stop seeking therapy. I've attempted therapy so many times only for it all to fail. I feel like most therapists are extremely inadequate. The first therapist i saw when i was 13 suggested I walk alone downtown in order to overcome my social anxiety. I mean most adults don't even go by themselves let alone a child. The crime rate in there is bad. And then she made me cry in one session. I ran out of the room sobbing because she said something that upset me so bad. Then the second one spent all our sessions just talking about college. I would tell her abou
  6. It's the same with me. I never knew anything happened to me until i turned 20 and I started having nightmares and flashbacks. Except I still have no clue what happened to me. I know it wasn't another child though I'm pretty sure it was an adult. And I'm not trying to excuse what she did but odds are she herself was being abused or touched inappropriately. Children aren't capable of rape. They mimic the things adults teach them. I hope I don't sound insensitive by saying that because it's still traumatic either way. I'm glad that your using your experience to help people. The world ne
  7. @Free2Fly Thanks. I know that at least before he died he got to know what it was like to be loved and be an indoor cat. I just hate seeing animals suffer.
  8. CrimsonRegrets

    My Kitty Died

    A couple of days ago I started caring for a little kitten that I found outside. He was the most adorable kitten ever.I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. He was super fluffy and his eyes were two different colors one blue and one green and he would always cuddle with me while i sat on the sofa. This morning he became completely unresponsive and a couple of hour later he died. I'm thinking he probably caught some disease from being outside around a bunch of sick cats. It just breaks my heart because I'm so tired of watching animals die especially kittens. Ever since I was a kid I've al
  9. @PTSD_RyujiSakamoto Thanks I hope I can remember someday though I'm kindve afraid to because whenever i've come close to remembering something I get worse. I have horrible panic attacks and I become severely depressed so I'm afraid that if I do remember i may not be able to handle it. My anxiety and depression are already bad I feel like remembering may make it worse. Yeah I love watching playthroughs of games. It's nice because I can't always afford the games I want but I can still enjoy them for free. I haven't watched any playthroughs of persona tho cuz i still want to play it myself.
  10. Hello and welcome to AS. I assume your a persona fan? I finished persona golden days a while back and I've been wanting to play the fifth one but i don't have a ps4. :/ I'm also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse or at least I think I am. I've been having flashbacks and nightmares but I don't have any concrete memories of my childhood. I hope this site helps you.
  11. CrimsonRegrets


    Pictures of nature in various places around Houston.
  12. Hello and welcome to AS. I noticed on your interests you like rock and metal. Those are my fav genres of music too. What bands do you listen too?
  13. CrimsonRegrets


    Picture of nature in various parks in Houston
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