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Thank you so much everyone! I was reluctant to come back and see what people said, but your support is helpful. Thanks for the tips on taking it slow. I'm not sure I'm looking forward to virtually speaking with you, but I think I'm getting closer. What do you find the most helpful?
I think I figured out my greatest fear- that here, in a place where I'm supposed to find support, no one will respond and I'll be overlooked and invisible again. Is it possible for someone to see me and hear me?
I have spent months considering joining this site, and got approved a week ago, and now I'm finally writing something. I'm scared, and I don't know why. I guess I'm afraid that I'm not as healed as I think I am, and I'm worried that by (hopefully) experiencing empathy and understanding here I'll realize what I'm missing IRL. That, plus I don't know what to do from here. This website has so many forums and I don't know what will and won't trigger me.