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How Talk Therapy helps in my daily life 

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Tool #2

Though I've created a fair day for myself, going home is always so difficult. So we wanted to talk about why.

they expect me to help. but i clean my own appt., so why is it harder there? Because i know how i want it to be so i have freedom of how to do it. Also when i'm doing it for mom i feel like i'm trying to please her. And she's the one who decides if i did a good job. Then i'll feel so dumb.

Also when i was very young the abuser forced me to serve him.

so we discovered some very important things. I feel less in control when i clean up there. It triggers anxiety and all the other feelings of servitude I felt before. So even  though now i try to give myself power, working for mom puts me back into the previous way of feeling.

Is it an  option to just not work? yes, but there will be unpleasant reactions. 

do i care?

Is it possible to find a way to help while still retaining control?

let's try!



I find it hard to look at all people in the face. Why? maybe cuz I feel so ashamed. maybe cuz I am so afraid of what people think about what i say and do. can i look at them? I'm scared. What could happen? They will see who I am. What am I? a dirty worthless rag who always acts awkward. Can't they see what I did today. And I'm so much worse than them, my body doesn't cooperate. 

Well, I learned something new:  people only see the part of me that they are interacting with. The bus-driver only sees the part of me that is what I am showing which is that I'm getting on the bus and paying. Even if I pay weirdly, that's the only part he saw. He didn't see that I was abused and that I have no friends and all the anxiety and loathing i have in regard to myself. 

Will this tool change my ability to not be as embarrassed when I mess up?  Let me know what happens for you.


I do speak about tools I learn in therapy. This will be helpful I hope but I don't expect that it can take the place of personal therapy. But it might serve as an example and help us bring the tools we learn into our lives.


I think the structure will be writing a tool

how i tried it

what happened 

and work with it for a week and see how i feel about the process


of course i welcome comments and tips about everything!



It's so important for us to bring tools we learn in therapy into our life.

often we don't feel things are changing or getting better.

When we use the tools we talk about in therapy we become stronger. 

Of course it takes practice


if we notice our progress we can feel we are moving toward a better life.

Ultimately we are trying to hopefully achieve a better present and a future. 

I hope this blog will help us see more how to integrate what we learn into daily life.

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