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Jaybird13

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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. I was starting to believe maybe the abuse wasn't as bad as I thought, until I wrote some of it out for others to read. Now a lot of the pain and fear has come back. :cry:

  2. Christmas at Seven

    I'm sorry that happened. Safe (((hugs))) if ok.
  3. Hey everyone

    Welcome to AS! Everyone here is really helpful and very supportive.
  4. I haven't been around for a while. I'm pregnant again! (total accident and complete surprise) and have been struggling with emotions of not feeling ready for another while also being excited. :unsure:

  5. Hello AS

    Welcome to AS! This is a wonderful safe place to find answers to questions and support.
  6. This year has been awful. I left this place as I had hoped life was getting better and now I fear it never will. :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you free2fly, sorry you are having a rough year too. :(

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sorry the year has been awful. Sitting with you, if ok. :hug: to you, if ok.

    4. Free2Fly
  7. I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room screaming for help and no one hears me... That, or no one cares 😞

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Whisper

      Whisper

      I know exactly how you feel. I hear you and I care. 

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you everyone. I have wanted to lay in bed and cry all day but too many people depend on me and I never get a break... I could definitely use hugs and support right now. 

    4. Whisper

      Whisper

      :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:  :supportu: :console: :console: :console:

  8. I can't believe my son is 5 months old already... I love him so much!

  9. I'm so confused. I don't even know what's going on in my own life anymore :unsure:

  10. Love the cold weather :P

    1. josiel
    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      I like sleeping with my window open under all my blankets... it feels amazing :throb:

  11. I feel like I'm being watched. I am so confused lately. My head is in so much pain. I just want everything to go away.

  12. I'm a horrible person :(:(:(

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      I disagree, love. :throb:

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you all for being so supportive.

    4. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Always. I know we all feel wretched from time to time but like my therapist says, feelings lie. Just because you feel like you're a horrible person doesn't mean you are :throb:

  13. My little man is two months old! Time seems to be flying by. 😊 So happy he's in my life.

  14. It's amazing what honesty can do... 

  15. Nightmares, and woke up in tears this morning. Another day of running on no sleep I guess. I stupidly looked him up on Facebook, and made things worse. What is wrong with me? When will I stop doing this to myself? 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      You're not stupid...or broken. I have been there, too. I look up my rapist's family to see if they are posting things relevant to the case or if they are talking about me. Everyone knows who I am :/ Thank you, big mouths and media coverage...

      I have also looked up my ex-husband and his now-wife that he cheated on me with a lot and I can totally relate to how are you feeling. I have to try really hard not to do that anymore. I am so sorry you are going through this. 

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you all for the kind words and understanding. I spent the day dwelling for the most part but am currently doing better. I feel like I've been distant to those around me lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. I hope this feeling passes as time moves forward. I want to start feeling happy again. I hope I can feel happy again.

    4. Unsettled

      Unsettled

      Jaybird, I think in time you will find that you develop a new and better respect for yourself.  I am finding that through this process I am a stronger and better person

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