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brooke taylor

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    Computer, reading, learning, spending time in nature

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  1. Safe hugs :hug: if ok?

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Free2Fly


      :hug: if ok?

      im coping I guess just something which is bothering me , I only realised it when I managed to get back online.

      hope your doing ok?

    3. brooke taylor

      brooke taylor

      Long time no hear. How you doing?

    4. Free2Fly


      Yeah sorry about that, tbh things are all over the place.

      message me and I'll tell you all about it .

      hope things are going okay for you old friend.

  2. Hi, More than once I noticed that topics in the subforum "share your story" can not be followed. This is a bit inconvenient when I post there something and dont get notified when there are any replies. Any way I can follow my own topics there? With love Brooke
  3. I can definitely relate to being disconnected and wanting get some control. When my partner wants to get intimate I feel like I just have to do it. It's part of the relationship deal so it's expected from me to keep the relationship going. I just want someone to love me and care for me and I feel I have to give them sex in order to get that. Sometimes it feels like someone want to use me and my body just to get pleasure. I get that my partner has needs and sex is one of them and I also want to fulfill that so I think if I just get over with it maybe it won't be this bad. After the sex I feel s
  4. I struggle with this myself. There were couple of times where I thought if I just get over it I will get used to it maybe. After however I hated myself and felt angry at my partner for doing that to me. For me forcing myself made it much worse. Now I work on using a different way. I don't want to force myself anymore through something I don't enjoy so I decided to do things more slowly and build up trust. Maybe not going all the way but doing things I am comfortable with and stopping when it get too much. For this I need a partner I can trust which I don't have at the moment so this is somethi
  5. I often talk about the negative things that came from my relationship, which are plenty, but today I want to share some positive things I have learned from it. Not that it was a good thing to live through, but some positive stuff came from making this horrible experience. To provide a context I was in a long distance relationship with her for over 6 years, the first year was great while the rest became progressively worse. She never was physically abusive however she was pretty cruel when it comes to the emotional side. As always I welcome comments and love to hear from people who can relate t
  6. Glad to hear it's useful for you
  7. Yesterday I read this section in a healing book and I really loved it. Maybe someone else here can benefit from it so I took the time to type it of. How to change: Become aware of the behavior you want to change. Is there something you're doing that isn't good for you? Are you staying in a bad relationship? Are you drinking too much? Are you blowing up at people you love? Are you helping everyone but yourself? Look at the reasons you developed that behavior in the first place. When did you first feel that way? Why? Have compassion for what you've done in the past
  8. I had a really strange dream just now. I was at home I could hardly breath or speak. I saw in the mirror there was another face on mine. It looked beautiful and normal but I could hardly move mouth which caused my inability to speak and breathing problems. I wanted to to peel the face off but I was scared I will destroy it and make it look ugly. I didnt know what to do and started to panic. Then someone came through the door. I dont know him but I knew he is said to be a very learned and wise man. He saw I was in so much main and just ripped my fake face off. It wasnt that painful I was m
  9. Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are going through. I can relate lot of feelings you are describing. What helped me a great deal is slowly sharing some of the things that happen to me and getting lots of support here. Coming here I seeking out is the first step of many. You are not alone.
  10. My csa screwed up myself as a person. It went so young into me that its hard to remember how I was before it. Sometimes I struggle to which part of my personality and behaviour is part of myself and which is due to the abuse.
  11. I think about it whenever I am not distracted by something. I would definitely say its intrusive and I cant stop thinking about it. It always starts with a random thought and pulls me down more and more like a downward spiral. I dont want to think about it but I cant help myself. Sorry you are going through the same.
  12. Hi dieter, I was glad to see your posts and I agree with lot of what you said about male survivors. I needed to hear that.

    1. brooke taylor

      brooke taylor

      I am glad I could make a difference :)

  13. Welcome to the forums. Glad to hear you found your way here. We all tell ourselves for some time we are lucky and it could have been worse. Its a common way to cope with all after the abuse. I hope you feel comfortable here and found a place to share.
  14. Welcome to the forums. I can relate to the feeling of being judged. It was very hard for me to open up to people here because I was afraid what they might think of me. People here are not judgemental and that really helps. I was kind of surprised everytime I shared something deep other people responded who felt the same. Take your time in opening and be assured nobody here will judge you.
  15. Welcome to the forums. This community helped me a great along my healing. Hope it will do the same for you.
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