tonysullivan

I admire how you post as if this were a journal. I mean i'm sure for many it is, but I appreciate you sharing, and bringing to light what I am sure a lot of us feel, but it feels as tho it's in a familiar way ;)

Keep it up, and you will get there. That was good. Im sorry you went through all that. Unfortunately for the world we live in all you said, is true, and I again I'm very sorry you went through this tragedy. The courage is there, you already possess it, no need to find it.

Thanks Coco45. I will definitely try :D

You were everything to me. I trusted your love But no, you come first, and no one dare step above You were my world. No exceptions, you were IT Until I realized everything, you would never admit You did things. Unspeakable, yet they pour from my soul My innocence..what?.. you robbed me of it. Whole You damaged me, but who was ever to know No one could; my non reflective exterior never let it show You had me trained, in fact, a silent monkey is what I played Until i thought screw it and your trust I betrayed You made me quiet, but only so so I tried to tell someone, anyone, silly me, even 5

Very nice. It flowed well, and your message was deep, and full of inspiration. Quite the encouraging peace of art. (and yes I meant to spell it that way lol.) Thank you for sharing, I needed to read that. :D

I was there, ...where were you? Faces breaking, and not into smiles Furniture takes flight,....yet has no wings Nor do I, with fright amidst, I remain firmly grounded, without flight... I was there,.... where were you? Walls shaking, due to "homestyle" earthquakes.... Floors slippery, yet there's not a drop of moisture in sight excluding tears.... No wax on the floors, not including emotions' snuffed candle residue.. I was there,...where were you? "Stunner" shades were used to mask your identity Growing self pity used as a chaser after every single shot You swam to the bottom of b

I don't know I do care I'm happy I'm sad I know love I know strife I'm tired I'm ready I hate confusion I defeat dismay I crave release I pursue patience I'm heavy I'm light I'm saying I'm alive

Distorted mirrored images of my past feel closer than they appear The calibrated scale of life reads Error due to the overwhelming weight on my shoulders Enlightening candles of thought flicker too bright to behold and burn too hot for grasping Exploring unknown territory, has given me knowledge that is Great , but also weakens with it's force Moving mountains, with motivation of success on the Horizon, I have reached goals of a new height Grabbing the bull by the horns has deeply penetrated my heart's shield, yet not through and through Mirrored Images of my distorted past only seem close, fo

I sent you a message and friend request after you deleted me.(Just like I said in my other post I am a glutton for punishment.) So "what did I do to you?" has been answered, loud and clear. I married your son. I knew it had to be that since those pics have been up since the day of the wedding and you had the nerve to still have my sister listed as a friend so I know you knew as soon as we were married, due to all the web updates. So, what I did, was share my joy in a social media type of way and that was too much for you apparently. I told you when you flipped out and tried to kill yourself i

There is nothing wrong with you, but wrong has befallen you. That IS NOT your fault, so you are right there, and NEVER let ANYONE tell you different. You may feel you should have done something, but it wouldn't have happened if you had a choice. NO ONE ever has a choice in these situations. Not while it's going on, but you have ALL the power after because you SURVIVED. And don't go planning life on knowing how to feel because at this point, unfortunately you have to go with the flow of feeling. So when ya feel numb, sad, mad, angry, confused, or all in one, just know that there is nothing wro

I love how you worded all of the above. I wish I could cut some branches from my family tree as well. Nature has taken it's course with one of the branches, it just fell off, became a legit dead branch. Now it lay in the ground returning to it's original form, dirt. Now grant it, I don't know your family but I am sure I have a tree that looks a bit similar to yours. So seems to be a forest of trees in this world that need neglected trimming. And a best friend is the best therapy there is in my eyes, so i totally agree with you. Thanks vakry for enlightening my day.

So I reactivated an old social site account today and uploaded some life event photos. Well my husbands mother (whom we have become estranged with due to abuse knowledge surfacing) deleted me as a friend from her list as soon as she could. I am just hurt and pissed that she would have the nerve to cut the last absolute tie she has with her son, without warning, or just the fact that she chooses to not communicate with us at all. And we just got married a few months ago. Ya think she would care, well nvm this isn't that type of mother so I don't even know why I care. But i do. It sucks to see h

That is AMAZING! Thank you for understanding what many refuse to. Success in happiness is on it's way to you. Keep up the good fight, and you will win her heart once again.

OH MY GOD I am so sorry you are being hurt in such a brutal way. Have you tried telling someone who will not tell your family? Who doesn't have any ties to them? I don't know where you live but in the u.s. there are shelters for people in this situation that are safe havens. You probably already know that. Please if there is anything I can do please let me know. I know I don't actually know you, but I am more than willing to try and help.

You aren't stuck. Feeling this way is all part of being a survivor. There are so many steps in the healing process, but feeling what you once couldn't express emotionally means you are making great progress. You will feel as if you are stuck in a routine that's far from the norm for you, but know that it's just that, a feeling, and it will pass, but you gotta give yourself time. It's ok to not want to go out as frequently as you used to. It's understandable that you may not feel as social as you once were. It's good you have an outlet that's healthy like reading or cuddling with your cat, as o

Thank YOU for being so receptive of my feelings, and opinions. You have been a source of inspiration and encouragement since I first read your post

Sorry for the rant guys. Guess I got a lot of things I need to say to someone.

Correction... as atherton would say "gentle hugs" -my b

Thank you The emotional pain is subsiding more and more everyday. My mother is still alive. She knows what I have been through, and it doesn't matter. She was sexually abusive as well as physically and emotionally damaging. She has told me about everything and everyone in her life that has made her feel like a piece of shit. This is from age two on. I can remember her telling me about her being gang rapped outside the home, while being married to my father who also did the same in the home. (It's not like I didn't see him doing most of this shit either) She would come to me beaten, battered

Thank you for that. It means more to me than you know as Flataffect7 would say " gentle hugs"

It felt good to let some of my feelings out. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

I feel for you deeply. There are no excuses, explanations, or apologies "just" enough in the world to gain forgiveness for such actions. I know it's cliche to say "success is the best revenge" but once you feel it, it's true. The rapist doesn't have that option. They have caused such grief and strife in others lives, that theirs will never be fulfilled. Even though they hide under the cloak of "normalcy" of everyday life, underneath is a futile, empty pit of disgust that they know is truly who they are. I bet it infuriates them to know what it feels like to be dead inside. The cliche "you are

You died a little over two years ago, and since that wife of yours (ie: my mother) donated your pathetic, filthy, lifeless body to science,(so there isn't even a grave for me to visit of yours to spit, or tap dance on) I figure why not pay my respects this way. It brought me and my sister closer, even if only for a moment. As sick as that may be, this is all you left for us to feel towards you. You were hateful and callous. Why would I mourn your death? You violated what was given to you as precious gifts. You pretended to be a good husband and father, when in reality, you were a sexually,

None of us had a choice in anything that happened while being victimized by "these people". When a child is born they know only what is presented to them. As that child grows they continue to absorb and emulate what has been seen. When we are that young our brains truly have more of an ability to learn so much in a short time frame. So whatever they goad us into, becomes routine, and easy to maintain. We become masters of disguise on the surface and no one is the wiser. No matter how terrible they are, we are basically programmed to love and obey everything they will. Just like the kids in c

Hello there, I came from an impoverished home, and was sexually abused by my parents as well. While I was a little girl from the ghetto, I never viewed children in your demographic as safe from such things in the home, I never thought about it honestly. (As an adult though, trust my eyes are wide open. It matters none, if your parents choose to do this unfortunately there isn't much anyone else can do about it. Laws are coming into play more and more but the lack of knowledge on the matter is still lost on most in general.) I didn't know how fucked up my childhood truly was until about age 23