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  1. I admire how you post as if this were a journal. I mean i'm sure for many it is, but I appreciate you sharing, and bringing to light what I am sure a lot of us feel, but it feels as tho it's in a familiar way ;)
  2. tonysullivan

    Strangers !

    Keep it up, and you will get there. That was good. Im sorry you went through all that. Unfortunately for the world we live in all you said, is true, and I again I'm very sorry you went through this tragedy. The courage is there, you already possess it, no need to find it.
  3. Thanks Coco45. I will definitely try :D
  4. You were everything to me. I trusted your love But no, you come first, and no one dare step above You were my world. No exceptions, you were IT Until I realized everything, you would never admit You did things. Unspeakable, yet they pour from my soul My innocence..what?.. you robbed me of it. Whole You damaged me, but who was ever to know No one could; my non reflective exterior never let it show You had me trained, in fact, a silent monkey is what I played Until i thought screw it and your trust I betrayed You made me quiet, but only so so I tried to tell someone, anyone, silly me, even 5
  5. tonysullivan

    Rise Above ...

    Very nice. It flowed well, and your message was deep, and full of inspiration. Quite the encouraging peace of art. (and yes I meant to spell it that way lol.) Thank you for sharing, I needed to read that. :D
  6. I was there, ...where were you? Faces breaking, and not into smiles Furniture takes flight,....yet has no wings Nor do I, with fright amidst, I remain firmly grounded, without flight... I was there,.... where were you? Walls shaking, due to "homestyle" earthquakes.... Floors slippery, yet there's not a drop of moisture in sight excluding tears.... No wax on the floors, not including emotions' snuffed candle residue.. I was there,...where were you? "Stunner" shades were used to mask your identity Growing self pity used as a chaser after every single shot You swam to the bottom of b
  7. I don't know I do care I'm happy I'm sad I know love I know strife I'm tired I'm ready I hate confusion I defeat dismay I crave release I pursue patience I'm heavy I'm light I'm saying I'm alive
  8. Distorted mirrored images of my past feel closer than they appear The calibrated scale of life reads Error due to the overwhelming weight on my shoulders Enlightening candles of thought flicker too bright to behold and burn too hot for grasping Exploring unknown territory, has given me knowledge that is Great , but also weakens with it's force Moving mountains, with motivation of success on the Horizon, I have reached goals of a new height Grabbing the bull by the horns has deeply penetrated my heart's shield, yet not through and through Mirrored Images of my distorted past only seem close, fo
  9. I sent you a message and friend request after you deleted me.(Just like I said in my other post I am a glutton for punishment.) So "what did I do to you?" has been answered, loud and clear. I married your son. I knew it had to be that since those pics have been up since the day of the wedding and you had the nerve to still have my sister listed as a friend so I know you knew as soon as we were married, due to all the web updates. So, what I did, was share my joy in a social media type of way and that was too much for you apparently. I told you when you flipped out and tried to kill yourself i
  10. There is nothing wrong with you, but wrong has befallen you. That IS NOT your fault, so you are right there, and NEVER let ANYONE tell you different. You may feel you should have done something, but it wouldn't have happened if you had a choice. NO ONE ever has a choice in these situations. Not while it's going on, but you have ALL the power after because you SURVIVED. And don't go planning life on knowing how to feel because at this point, unfortunately you have to go with the flow of feeling. So when ya feel numb, sad, mad, angry, confused, or all in one, just know that there is nothing wro
  11. tonysullivan


    I love how you worded all of the above. I wish I could cut some branches from my family tree as well. Nature has taken it's course with one of the branches, it just fell off, became a legit dead branch. Now it lay in the ground returning to it's original form, dirt. Now grant it, I don't know your family but I am sure I have a tree that looks a bit similar to yours. So seems to be a forest of trees in this world that need neglected trimming. And a best friend is the best therapy there is in my eyes, so i totally agree with you. Thanks vakry for enlightening my day.
  12. So I reactivated an old social site account today and uploaded some life event photos. Well my husbands mother (whom we have become estranged with due to abuse knowledge surfacing) deleted me as a friend from her list as soon as she could. I am just hurt and pissed that she would have the nerve to cut the last absolute tie she has with her son, without warning, or just the fact that she chooses to not communicate with us at all. And we just got married a few months ago. Ya think she would care, well nvm this isn't that type of mother so I don't even know why I care. But i do. It sucks to see h
  13. That is AMAZING! Thank you for understanding what many refuse to. Success in happiness is on it's way to you. Keep up the good fight, and you will win her heart once again.
  14. OH MY GOD I am so sorry you are being hurt in such a brutal way. Have you tried telling someone who will not tell your family? Who doesn't have any ties to them? I don't know where you live but in the u.s. there are shelters for people in this situation that are safe havens. You probably already know that. Please if there is anything I can do please let me know. I know I don't actually know you, but I am more than willing to try and help.
  15. You aren't stuck. Feeling this way is all part of being a survivor. There are so many steps in the healing process, but feeling what you once couldn't express emotionally means you are making great progress. You will feel as if you are stuck in a routine that's far from the norm for you, but know that it's just that, a feeling, and it will pass, but you gotta give yourself time. It's ok to not want to go out as frequently as you used to. It's understandable that you may not feel as social as you once were. It's good you have an outlet that's healthy like reading or cuddling with your cat, as o
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