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About VintageCrayon

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    Formerly known as: Shortcake
  • Birthday 11/22/1987

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  1. Hello, I started on this website as Shortcake. A new, terrified member who struggled badly as so many of you do. This community of survivors helped me immensely in my journey to healing from what I'd been through. I hope those of you who are brand new find the same here as well. I stepped down as a site moderator near the end of 2016, and also away from the site for a majority of the last year and a half because I had begun struggling with issues not even related to what brought me here. However, I have been working through it all with the support of my husband and mother (I was cut off from my therapist which attributed to making things worse for me mentally and emotionally) and I'm doing a lot better and feel excited to be back
  2. You know, I JUST read what your profile pic says? LOL I am down with mermaiding. Adulting sucks.

  3. My birthday is listed under my name when I post. How can I remove that?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. SugaEve


      No, I couldn't see yours. Thank you.

    3. SilentBird


      Good, so now we know for sure that works. Glad I could help.

    4. VintageCrayon


      Glad to see your question was answered :) Thank you silentbird

  4. Hi I was on chat yesterday and you had given me some really good advise. I am reaching out to you I we could message each other. I am looking for extra support and not finding it in chat. That you


    1. VintageCrayon


      Absolutely! Feel free :)

  5. Hi there!! I've been wondering how you put the pic in the background on your profile. Can't seem to figure it out. I really like your pic you chose :) 

    1. VintageCrayon


      Well when you look at your profile, you will see 2 options on the upper right corner of the cover photo area (background pic). One says "Edit profile" and one says "Cover photo". Click on Cover photo and click on "upload photo". From there you can choose any photo that you have and upload it as your background/cover photo. I found mine on google when I searched "Inspirational quotes".

    2. fallenstar


      Ah I understand why it doesn't work for me. Mine does not have the "Cover photo" option.

    3. fallenstar


      Thank you for getting this fixed!! I now have the option to choose a cover photo. :clap:

  6. Welcome to AfterSilence! I hope you find all the support you can get here We're full of awesome people.
  7. Thanks for the suggestion! Will discuss with other mods
  8. Thank you for taking the time to open this thread. It is VERY important that you read this. There are 2 pinned/locked topics in this forum (Welcome forum) that ask members to read before posting. I do understand that when you're new to After Silence, you're anxious to post and get involved in the healing process, and therefore may decide to just read those important sounding threads 'later'. Here's the problem....'later' never seems to happen. The reason those threads are there in every forum, is to enlighten you as to the specific rules and guidelines for each forum. Because there ARE certain things that are not allowed to be posted (for safety, and trigger-related reasons). As for this forum, the Welcome forum, I want to clarify and renew the most important guidelines, as I suspect another reason that the "Please Read" topics are being ignored is because they are so old and perhaps you might think they are no longer necessary to read. (They are, though). Do not post what happened to you in the Welcome forum. Introduce yourself, by all means. If you want to tell us what part of the world you're from and how old you are, great. No problem. But do not post any part of what happened to you here - we have a separate forum for that (Share your story) which is seen only by members. This forum (Welcome) is seen not only by members, but also by secondary members, researchers, and even non-members viewing this site (it is a PUBLIC forum). So for your own safety and privacy, we ask that you only post personal things such as your story in the non-public, appropriate subforums. Do not post names. This means - for your own privacy, and for legal reasons for AS - do not post your real name. Do not use your real name anywhere on this website. If you signed up with a username that has your real name in it, we can change it for you. Simply PM a moderator with what you would like your username changed to and we can do that for you. This is for safety, privacy, and legal security reasons. Also, do not (for LEGAL reasons) post the name(s) of your attacker/abuser(s) if they have not been convicted. Try to keep your welcome introductions and responses simple. Remember that anything you post in the Welcome section can be seen by absolutely ANYONE viewing the forum and isn't a member. So try not to get into long personal discussions here. We have other forums that are not public that you can participate in longer personal discussions about different things.We only create these rules for your safey and privacy - as well as for security and legal reasons for us. Please keep posts in the welcome forum simple and non-identifying or personal. Again, you can get personal in other forums. Thank you, The Aftersilence Moderating Team.
  9. This tutorial is for any member who wishes to: A. Block a member from chatting with them B. Block a member from messaging them C. Block a member's posts to prevent seeing them D. Block a member's signature. Please note: A. Please try to only use this option if your issue is not resolved by chat or board mods, or while you are waiting for a chat/board mod to resolve your issue if the problem is ongoing. B. Please only use this option as a last resort if a member continues to harass you after a mod has attempted to handle the problem. C. Use this option with care, and try to only use it when absolutely necessary. D. You can use this if a member's signature is triggering (but please report it if it is), distracting, or if you otherwise decide you don't want to see their signature. Step One: Click on your username at the top of the screen. Step two: Click "Manage Ignore Prefs". Step three: You will be taken to this page. Type in the member's name in the box. Check whichever box(es) that you want to ignore of the member. And click "Save Changes". Please always note that you can contact a moderator if you are having an issue with another member. Side note: If you wish to ignore ALL Signatures on the site, you can check the box at the top above "Users I'm ignoring" that says 'Ignore all signatures when reading topics and personal messages'. Again, make sure you click "Save Changes".
  10. This tutorial is for any member who, for whatever reason, wishes to remove someone as a friend. Step one: Click your username at the top of the page. Step two: Click on "Manage Friends". Step three: You will be taken to a page that lists all of the people you currently have as friends. To the right of their names, you will see these icons. Click the one that says "Remove Friend" when you hover over it to remove that person as a friend. And you're done
  11. This is a tutorial for anyone who wishes to be able to manually accept or reject friend requests, instead of having people being automatically able to add you Step one: Click on your username at the top of the page. Step two: Click on "My settings". Hovering over each option here will give you a brief description of what you can do. Step three: You will be taken to this page. Where it says "Friends" there are two options. The first says "Show my friends in my profile". If you leave this checked, people you have as friends will be visible on your AS profile. If you uncheck it, it will not be visible. The second option says "Allow me to approve members before they're added as a friend". If you leave it UNchecked, members will be able to add you automatically without needing your approval. If you want to be able to to manually approve or deny friend requests, you should CHECK this box. Step four: Always remember to click "Save Changes" before leaving, otherwise any changes you make will not be saved.
  12. Very well said Courtney! I couldn't agree more.
  13. We are glad you like that safety feature! We agree that it also encourages members to get involved and communicate, and are pleased that it makes you feel more comfortable to share in the future Thanks for the love!
  14. To add to what NorskyCourtney said about Trigger warnings for details about assault/stalking/ anything of a sexual or violent nature, I also try to post Trigger warnings for anything that may contain curse words (venting, quoting something that was said to us in real life, etc). When posting about Self Injury/Harm (and always be sure to post in the correct subforum) I'd recommend always posting a trigger warning. Same for Eating disorder related posts. Other things that may require trigger warnings: Talking about flashbacks, nightmares, details about legal processes, etc. Venting that includes details of unsupportive victim blaming from others. Anything that might be an obvious trigger to any survivor And to post a trigger warning, you can post "Trigger Warning" or "TW" for short in your title, tag for your topic, and/or in the post itself before you begin writing the rest of it. You can also use either of these symbols in your post: I hope this helps
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