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  1. JustCats

    Hi

    Hi, I’m happy to be here. I am just accepting that what had happened to me at 15 years old was not my fault. I’m 33 now, and I haven’t talked about this much because I didn’t quite understand what had really happened. I was 15. The young woman was 21 and her older brother was 24. It started with warm embraces. Signs of love. I’ve been grappling with this for years. I was in denial for many years. I never wanted to be a victim/survivor. As I got older, I felt extremely confused about what had happened. I felt something wasn’t right, but I continued to blame myself. ‘I allowed them to do i
  2. Hello, I’m Abbie. This site was recommended to me by a friend. I’m not all too sure if I’m ready to tell my full story as of yet but I’m sure that in time I will. I’ve got a lot going on right now and I think I need to be part of a supportive community like this where we can all relate to each others struggles. I guess I’m just here to say hi to anyone that might see this and that I hope you’re doing well - things may be tough for you at the moment but we can get through this one step at a time. Take care everyone x
  3. It's june already.. my birthday just around the corner.. i don't know what to do.. how to deal with my trauma... i was raped a week after my birthday.. my trauma already come out and haunted my days.. i don't have anyone to talk to.. imsomnia .. depression.. I don't wanna talk to my family.. they don't even believe me.. how will i cope with this situations.... 😭😭😭 Lately i can't sleep.. i feel worthless.. useless.. i hate my self... i can't do this.. Anyways.. i don't have others choice .. i need to struggle.. no one will help me.. only me.. myself.. To everyone that on
  4. Darby25

    Two Years

    It’s been two years. Two years of crying at the drop of a hat, two years of wincing anytime I’m touched, two years of fighting to survive. Everyday in those two years I have held back tears when someone looks like you, when I realize what was taken. Two years isn’t a long time, but for me it’s been excruciating. I know your eyes still light up, and I know that you can smile and mean it. Meanwhile, every small smile takes more energy than it should. Every time I laugh, it sounds fake, it feels fake. When I get that moment of calm, not needing to run around to deal with all that keeps me busy, I
  5. Hello...this is my first time posting in AS. I'm having a hard time dealing with trauma from an assault a couple years ago. I came to this site because I feel pretty alone. I don't have anyone to talk to about this, and I'm hoping that by talking with you all I can learn to handle my trauma a little better than I am now. Thanks for listening...
  6. KeLLe

    Hello!

    Hello everyone! I am KeLLe and I am happy to have found this space. I am a survivor and am hoping to work through some things here, as well as to support others. Thank you for accepting me!
  7. Hello everyone, I am new to AS and this is the first time that I have reached out for support online. I am hoping to connect with others who understand what I have gone through without judgment. I am also eager to hear the coping strategies that everyone uses on their road to recovery! It has been 5 years since I was abused and I am finally speaking about it! I look forward to meeting and chatting with all of you!
  8. Hi everyone. I was nearly assaulted over 3 years ago by someone I thought was a friend. I have "dealt" with it as best as I thought I could without reaching out for help. My two most precious people in the world, my husband and my mom, have been enormously supportive. But, I feel like talking to other survivors will help me and hopefully I can be helpful or at least provide an ear/pair of eyes to them as well. I have grappled with what I now see is very common in survivors, especially questioning if I was actually assaulted, guilt and self-blame (this one has been extremely tough), shame
  9. Hello folks. I’m Alexander, 32, from Virginia. I am a survivor, but having a lot of trouble thriving as of late. I was directed here by a crisis text line after having a nightmare about past abuse. I would get further into what has happened in the past, as well as my story, but I don’t want to trigger anyone. I’m glad to be here, and hoping to receive the kind of support I’ve been looking for.
  10. Well, I'm here. How I got to this point is a long story, which I'm still writing down. But I am glad to have found this community to have support whenever I need it. So thank you and thank you in advance for the support.
  11. Hey, I'm Sid, I just turned 21, I live some place very cold. My favorite things to do are watching Youtube for hours on end while cuddling a stuffed elephant (doesn't have a name yet) and my kitten Anatastia! I'm constantly surrounded by soft and fuzzy things and I have coffee instead of blood in me! Please feel free to come say hi! -Sid
  12. Hello : first time doing this and a little nervous about this...so here goes.......I my assault was 30 years ago while I was in the navy I had repressed it until about 1 yr ago talk about turning my life upside down I've reached out for counselling on aggressive behavioral issues to no avail being fired on several jobs and excessive drinking and fighting.i had my first trigger and got escorted to a trauma psychologist where I was diagnosed with severe PTSD, I went through the 16 week session ordeal and felt like things were going good I've been out of therapy for about 2 months and thin
  13. Just popping in to say hello. I think I made the account a while back but just finally came to visit today. Not really sure what I'm here for as not too sure how ready I am to talk yet, but wanted to say hello regardless Edit: Also, I love Tori Amos.
  14. "It is so easy to descend into madness, then opening doors and exposing old wounds..."-Timi Afternoon, umm i am so not good at introductions lol. But my name is Timi! I am a 22 years old african american chick from Louisiana. Currently a junior in college but opt out this semester to better my mental and physical health. I am a incest and child molestation survivor and finally receive professional help through therapy. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, and Bipolar disorder have been plaguing my life every since i was child. I thought i could live with what happen to me, continue to interact with
  15. Hi, a new member. Finding my way like everybody else.
  16. Hi, I'm Faye. I've been sexually assaulted three times in my life. I'm glad to have found this community; thanks to all of you for making it happen. Feeling alone in the aftermath of a trauma is very painful indeed. It's been almost five years since the last time, but it creeps up on me sometimes, still. The whole election thing - the "grabbing" and the alleged assaults by our almost-President and his sickening words used to deny - really triggered me. I've been dealing with strong memories, and I'm angry, and I'm hurting again, in spite of the time passed. Anyhow. Glad to be here. Thank you.
  17. Hi all. My name is Brandi and I am a child abuse and sexual abuse survivor. I am 17 years old and I am almost 1 and a half years free. I am a bit nervous to be starting this as ive never fully dealt with it. I have a son who is 3 months old (not from the sexual abuser) I was abused for about 4 years between 7th-10th grade. The middle of tenth grade I finally had proof for my mother as telling her a few times before did not seem to be enough. And I was moved in with my aunt it took almost 6 months for my abuser to move out into his own home and for me to be able to move back into my moth
  18. Hello, I am new to this group. This is my first post. I was raped 29 years ago at the age of 18. I delt with it by blaming myself for getting drunk. (Now, I know that's not true, he is the one who took from me what I did not give. He is to blame.) I never reported it, never told my parents. For reasons I can't explain, it's coming up and out now. I am feeling the pain, fear, and panic of my 18 year old self, NOW. The nice people at rape call centers didn't know what to do to help me. I am having trouble finding people like me. Who understand how and why I was able to keep all t
  19. **Detailed Story** It feels as though one moment changed my entire identity, stripping away any of my remaining naivety and innocence. But when that mystified encapsulation of fear, anxiety, and anger finally managed to dissipate, I was left with only the framework of who I use to be. I was replicating a girl who disappeared into womanhood without the chance to say goodbye. Inside, this woman is still filled with the fear, anxiety, and anger, but now the remaining cracks are filled with regret. I find myself asking "why did I go out that night?" "why did no one care?" "why didn't
  20. Hi All, I am quite new to the site. I hope my blog will benefit myself as well as those reading and following my story. My journey as a sexual abuse survivor started when I was four years old. It stopped for a few years and continued when I was about 9 years old. I reported it when I was 15 years old. For 7 years I was a victim. Im in my early 20's now. One day I just spilled the beans at school to a few of my teachers. Not so nonchalantly as it is coming across now. My father molested and raped me. Some incidents I remember vividly, other are just vague memories. I remember
  21. So Hello, I am new, I am hopeful, I am MrPep. I feel like our cruise ship capsized and I finally washed up on this Island. I'm looking for My spouse I know she is around here somewhere. I am looking at all these new faces, what's interesting is I know every single one of you, I love you all and I feel at peace for once. Thank you for having me.
  22. It's been six yrs since it happen to me. It was a boyfriend I was with for 6 months. It took 5 years for me to enter into another relationship. This time with another girl. She's amazing, patient, and loving. He was my first boyfriend. Now that I lost weight a lot of guys are nicer to me and it scares me. A guy texted me "sweet dreams" and it set me off wondering why he was being nice and being afraid I had no control of the situation. >< when does this end? It's been 6 years.
  23. This Christmas 2015, with a beautiful full moon and quiet consuming victory, will be burned into my memory for eternity. My healing goals include fulfilling my family karma and ending the inherent chain of abuse. To successfully achieve this goal I must slay multiple demons that thrive upon sucking my soul into their fiery bellies only to regurgitate sabotage and betrayal. This week alone I have slayed multitudes of the blood thirsty beasts crouched in venomous fury awaiting my next breath and calculated action. The demons I speak of dwell in the hearts of my poor family. Their device is to ke
  24. Hi everyone. Just joined this forum as an attempt to make honest connections and share my past. I am looking to give and receive support and hopefully to start healing. Happy to be here.
  25. The other day my mom asked me "Remember that time you ran away and the cops found you down at that park?" the questions she asked blurred into "I think I know what happened but I 1) can't believe it and 2) Will if you open up to me". She's not so eloquent though and asks things like "How did you get all the way out there?" and "What were you doing out there?". That has always been something that comes up in my memory frequently. But when she asked about this I couldn't bring myself to tell her that the 35 year old man the cops found me in that car with was my first at 12 years old. There are
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