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The blog of Myself and I

Entries in this blog

 

I feel like a fraud

Sometimes I feel like I made the whole thing up.  I think this is partly because I don't want to believe this happened to me and partly because no one believed me, or if they did they didn't seem to care.   It wasn't a "violent" rape, it's as di*k head Robin Thick says a matter of "blurred lines."  But now I know the lines were clear.  I said no to multiple advances, to the point where my friends were telling him to leave me alone.  All night he wanted me to drink more, and when I thought

MyselfAndI

MyselfAndI

 

Flashback

After my first blog post where I sequentially and in detail wrote down what had happened to me, I had what I can recall as my first true flashback.  I had never spoke the specific to the events to anyone before.   For years I suffered with replaying my assault in my head, over and over.  I always thought that these were "flashbacks," but I was wrong.  That night after my first post, as I was lying in bed trying to sleep, I was there.  With the lights off, I could see his pale skin reflect

MyselfAndI

MyselfAndI

 

It's complicated..

**Detailed Story** It feels as though one moment changed my entire identity, stripping away any of my remaining naivety and innocence.  But when that mystified encapsulation of fear, anxiety, and anger finally managed to dissipate, I was left with only the framework of who I use to be.  I was replicating a girl who disappeared into womanhood without the chance to say goodbye. Inside, this woman is still filled with the fear, anxiety, and anger, but now the remaini

MyselfAndI

MyselfAndI

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