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Rachal1

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Everything posted by Rachal1

  1. Struggling. Just struggling. 😔

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you, Rachal. Sending you tons of support and comfort.

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sorry it's so hard right now. Sending support and a hug, too...if ok. :hug: 

    4. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sitting with you 

  2. Have finally got the courage to come back here. As you all know, my case went to court and 5 men were convicted and sentenced. Following this, they managed to make contact with ‘associates’ of theirs and ordered them to come and find me…make me ‘pay’ for sending them to prison….

    I am broken 💔

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @wannamove hopefully, at some point soon. Nobody is allowed at the minute, police protection. 

    3. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      I'm so sorry, Rachal. This sounds horrendous. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. It must be so scary... :( Poor thing. I'm glad that the police found you, and you are currently safe. You don't deserve any of what's happening to you. Gosh, I just can't believe this. I'm so sorry again. You have all of us here, caring about you, sending you strength. ❤️ Take gentle care.

    4. AKB

      AKB

      I'm so very sorry to hear this @Rachal1. Sending you an invisible security shield all around you to keep you as safe as possible.

  3. Really struggling. Something happened….💔 The police found me..luckily 

    1. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Oh no. I hope that you're ok! I'm glad the police found you. Please take gentle care of yourself. We're here for you. Sending you lots of strength and support.

    2. Field8

      Field8

      Sending you hope

  4. Not been here for a while now…have been really struggling. Have no one to turn too as I have to look after mum and dad too. So much stress and just feel lost…like I am drowning and there is nobody to help..😔

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. AKB

      AKB

      @Rachal1sending you strength, support, unicorns, and rainbows. Hope that brings a slight smile to you, friend. I know you've had a difficult time of it. :bighug:

    3. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      Thank you everyone. I have not been reaching out or turning to anyone…seems easier to push people away..I don't have to try and explain how I feel that way. I know that is wrong. Had a run in with the police…things are still happening with 2 of my attackers…they don’t help, they just make me feel like I am part of their process and feelings don't even come into it. My counsellor wants to talk about feelings…apparently I have a barrier and struggle with my own feelings…she makes it sound so easy. It is just easier to push everyone away 😔

    4. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      @Rachal1 You don't have to force yourself to any contacts, but try and reach out to your support system on the level you can handle. We are here, we care. Your counsellor seems to try and break through. You don't have to let them in at once, but try and tell them something every session, so you can get something off your chest. 

      I am so, so sorry. I had the police turn their backs on me too during my investigation, I can only imagine how you feel right now. 

      Sending my best. 

  5. Feeling so lost….this is truly awful.. 💔 How does this feeling ever get better…..

    1. AKB

      AKB

      Sitting with you @Rachal1 you've been through so much recently...healing after all of that can take time and may not be as linear as we hope. Know that we are here with you and will be for as long as you need us. Here's hoping you can find at least one sliver of joy this weekend, if possible. :bighug:

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      It takes time. And patience.

      Not something we survivors like...or deserve.

      Just keep at it...keep fighting...and know you deserve the peace and happiness that will come...eventually.

      Sitting with you. :hug:  

    3. Mahadev

      Mahadev

      I wish I could say something to help, but I truly have no idea what you feel. I can't even imagine. All I know is, there are people here who have been through what you have been through. It doesn't make what happened to you better in any way, I'm just reminding you that you're not alone, and there are others who've been through this and come out the other side. All the best, really.
      Sitting with you, and I'm here to talk if you want to, or just listen, whatever :)

  6. So today, I went into my garage…I saw a hammer on the shelf. Huge trigger. I just froze and could not move, speak or breathe. I passed out. 💔😔

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      I am so sorry Rachal. I hope you have someone to call, someone to come when these kind of things happen. I wish I could. However, sending you my best support. Please keep reaching out. 

      - W ☀️

    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @WannaMoveOn Hi, I have two very close and good friends that are always there for me. I had a good rant after this happened, after I had calmed down. 

    3. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      @Rachal1 It is indeed good to know that there are at least two people for you to lean on, in case one would be unavailable. I also think it's very healthy that you put words on this. 

      Rooting for you!

      - W ☀️

  7. Sat in my car…can’t move. 💔😭

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      Thank you. I just froze. Don’t know what triggered me (I was followed in my car when I was attacked but this is not the first time that I have drove since) but I just stopped and could not move. I sat in my car for over two hours 💔

    3. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Oh Rachal. With being it the very first time after what happened, one can never know how our bodies will react. Sitting here if ok? 

       

    4. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Some time is hits like that friend. Maybe your mind and body are really starting to process it. Weird how that happens. But you did good to stop the car and remain safe. Safe hugs.

  8. I give up. I can’t do this anymore. 

    1. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I'm here if you need to talk :throb:

  9. Really in need of some words of support. I really thought that things would get easier after the trial, turns out I was so wrong. 
    Still so much to deal with and so much to process. 💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      Sending you support. You will get through this. We are all here for you. 

    3. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sending you lots of support and strength. Also, sitting with you, Rachal. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of this. You're doing so well, though. Please know you're not alone. Keep reaching out to us. ❤️ 

    4. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Oh I know, friend. I am so sorry. I thought it would be better, too, but it instead just felt as if I had fallen off of a roller coaster. 

  10. Really rough day 😔

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Hello Rachal! Sending you my sincere sympathies. Some days are just meant to be passed away under a blanked with a movie and something nice to drink, like your favorite soda. How does that sound? 

      - W ☀️

    2. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sorry to hear. Hang in there. We are here for you 

  11. Really struggling. Everything seems so surreal 💔😔

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Hello Rachal. Sitting if ok? Everything you experience is completely normal, but I wished you wouldn't have to experience this.

      Please take good care of yourself. I hope you have something nice to look forward to this weekend. 

      - W ☀️

    2. AKB

      AKB

      After all that you've been through it's understandable that there would be a lot of complex feelings to process. You've been through so much. If you can give yourself some grace as you work through healing it can help. It's ok to not be ok! Sitting with you as you work through what's next.

    3. Mave

      Mave

      It’s okay to struggle while you’re trying to figure out your next step. You can do this. Sitting with you, if okay.

  12. I am tired, sick and so so drained 😔💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you, Rachal. It may take some time, but you will feel better. It's totally normal to be so drained after such a traumatic event and then the trial, too...the trial itself can be traumatic. Wishing you well. ❤️ 

    3. Rachal1
    4. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      @Rachal1 Sometimes, our mind buckles up so it can cope with the current pressure. Feeling worse after is normal, however I hope you're having a strong support system. It will get better, there will be better days, you'll just have to allow yourself to come back in your own pace. 

       

  13. Trial update. Verdict.

    All 5 men-guilty.

     

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sending you lots of strength. You've done so well. What a relief to have them found guilty. You did amazingly, Rachal. ❤️ 

    3. snmls

      snmls

      This must feel like a huge exhale for you. You persevered and were brave. 

    4. AKB

      AKB

      I'm so very thrilled that they are all 5 guilty. I know that this was really difficult for you. Sending you peace and healing. You are amazing and know that we are here for whatever you need next.

  14. Verdict today. I feel so sick 💔😔

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Hello Rachal1. Sitting with you if ok? 

    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Sitting with you, holding your hand, if you would like. I can imagine myself in the courtroom with you...I am glaring at the monster and his defense team. I am shielding you from their view, daring them to try to hurt you...because if they do, I will tear them up! You are loved here :throb:

  15. Today was so awful. I just want to give up…💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I'm sorry it was that awful. You are braver than you know. 

      Sitting with you and sending support. Safe hugs to you, if ok? :hug:  

    3. AKB

      AKB

      Try to do something nice for yourself if you can tonight. Sitting with you and I've brought my cozy, fleece blanket and my sweetest cat Miss Posey to sit with us.

    4. bluemermaid

      bluemermaid

      life is a rollercoaster, some days will seem awful. But remember theres good days waiting around when you least expect it. Hang in there, sitting with you :) 

  16. Trial update…

    Will go into next week. I am so drained  💔 Truly horrible process…

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      Sitting with you and sending you support. 

    3. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sitting with you. You can do this, you have our support 

    4. Boopbetty

      Boopbetty

      Sending you all my support💞

  17. Trial update…2 days in. I am drained and crumbling…💔

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      PM if you need, love 

    3. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Hello Rachal1. 

      I am so, so sorry about your pain. Please, keep updating us. Use your support system. So many care about you, you're such a fighter. so many want to see you succeed and experience brightness again. You are not supposed to fight alone. 

      We are staying with you. ❤️ 

       

    4. AKB

      AKB

      Know that you've got all of us with you. We are pocket riding if that helps you. We will stay with you through it all. :bighug:

  18. Court trial starts tomorrow…..

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Field8

      Field8

      Pocket riding with you.

    3. AKB

      AKB

      Pocket riding with you and sending you so much strength!

    4. Flow3r

      Flow3r

      I feel you on this I'm currently going through the same. His in jail and I got subpoena to go as a witness. 

  19. I want to pull out of court. I can’t do this 💔 so scared

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sitting with you. What you are doing is very brave. I'm sorry it is so difficult. 

      Supporting you and sending hugs. :hug: 

    2. SandStorm

      SandStorm

      Go at your own pace. It is scary and it's very draining. 

      Take baby steps. And if you feel like you can't go on with court, then so be it. Do not he hard on yourself. 

       

  20. Not been on for a while. Having a really tough time and not coping well at all. So much to deal with from police and legal teams. Never mind hospital reviews and injury updates. I am just so sore 😔
    Everybody has ‘advice’ and is telling me what I should be doing....when really...I just want to scream, cry and angry....

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Mave

      Mave

      I am so sorry that you're going through so much right now. You have every right to want to scream and cry from frustration and anger. What matters most right now is what you know is best for you. Other people may mean well, but you know yourself and your needs best. Sitting with you and sending safe hugs, if okay. ❤️ 

    3. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @mini.finch @Mave 

      Thank you. I am just completely crumbling. I thought that I could do this, but I can’t. 💔
       

    4. Mave

      Mave

      @Rachal1 It's okay to crumble. You've got a lot on your plate. I know you feel like you can't do it, and that's okay. You don't have to go through all of this alone. No matter what you decide, we are here to support you and help you. You are not alone.

  21. I have completely crumble...I can’t do this 😔😓 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @WannaMoveOn I am really struggling. I don’t think that I can do it, any of it. 

    3. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @snmls thank you xxx

    4. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Where can you get help? Do you want me to send you some links or do you have anyone to contact when crisis strikes. it hurts me that you're hurting so badly right now. Is there anything that could make this better? 

  22. After sitting outside if the hospital for over an hour, I am now home. I couldn’t go in, could not go through with the examination. It is so hard, I thought that I was strong enough, turns out, not yet. 😔😔

    1. AKB

      AKB

      I'm so sorry @Rachal1. Sitting with you to support you if you'd like some company.

    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Oh dear. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the fear and pain you've been going through. Sending you strength and comfort. ❤️ Maybe you will feel stronger for an examination later on. We're all here for you!

  23. Have to visit the hospital today for a check up...not looking forward to it at all. So scared 😔

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      Yes, that is why I am going. Injuries need checking. 😔

    3. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      I know, I just wanted to ask since I hope the staff understands your situation. 

    4. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      Thank you for your support. It is going to be awful, I know it. I am so nervous. 

  24. Really struggling. Court date set. 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @WannaMoveOn yes. The investigation has not needed much as there is so much evidence. There is strong forensic evidence and the men made videos, which the police have. The videos are quite graphic and show everything. There are also documents that have been sent from person to person, mobile phone records and much more. The court date is not for another 5 weeks so there is still a long way to go. 

    3. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @mini.finch Thank you. I hope you are ok? Xx

    4. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      5 weeks can be long if one has to wait. If you're having so much evidence, then I'll suggest you're letting your lawyer taking the lead and just nurse yourself the best you can, physically and emotionally. You are doing so much. Sending my best support, and if you'd like one, a safe hug :hug:

  25. Absolute meltdown. Committal hearing done. Getting very real.  

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @mini.finch Thank you. I don’t feel brave....xx

    3. Rachal1

      Rachal1

      @WannaMoveOn thank you. It is just so daunting. 
      I agreed to attend and give evidence and I do still want to do that, it is just getting very real now..xx

    4. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      @Rachal1 Yes, and perhaps you were still in shock and now this is added to your plate. Please keep your support system close and take one day at the time. You are so brave. 

      -  W ☀️

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