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Sometimes I'll have a conversation or say something funny, and I think "am I really a depressive, have I really been sui*? Have I really been through what I have?" It shows I'm healing, but I've been broken for so long, it feels so weird. It's like such a huge part of my identity is fallen away when I get a glimpse through the cloud and see the sky. Not entirely unpleasant at all. Just very odd.