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About this blog

May I fill this in later once I've formulated the full concept?  Thanks!  Wander with me a bit here and I'll at least provide an entertaining glimpse into my own tragic comedy.

Entries in this blog

Angst at The System

“Thriving” to me is mythical

I read a lot of sexual assault materials and news reports in order to be able to help academics as a source of valid information. I have some interesting tags on the sub Reddit that I do moderate. One of them is, “you had one goddamn job do your job and stop complaining.” LOUISIANA PROUD This week I actually saw swift justice to a post where there was a woman who signaled to a constable and also law enforcement officer that there was a rape in progress. The woman reporting was ignored
Random Thoughts

Two Years as SA Moderator on Reddit

Here is a guide on processing trauma including the experts Here’s What ‘Processing’ Trauma Really Means—And How It Helps You Heal I have dedicated personal time to a Reddit sub that collects case info on perpetrators as well as trauma-informed aftermath resources to assist survivors.  Occasionally someone will post a follow up and more recently people are less fearful to do so which makes me a ‘proud mod momma’ knowing that a large percentage of people are coming out of the haze of sufferin
Random Thoughts

I have time to be a listening shoulder; AI ain’t got shit on me as a human 💊

And the advent of quick tweets and bots on the radar we dismiss people instantly over a single word or three when that individual may not communicate like everybody else. I posted  that I knew in the back of my mind there were linguistic and machine learning entities in the gray area/black ops and trying to pick up this language so that we could actually determine if these things were global national threats. For starters I am not going to apologize for my absence because I have been f
Next Generatioms

I am frustrated for you all… post menopause

I have a gorgeous bonus daughter who recently texted me that she signed a reproductive rights petition. I myself am a ✡️ Jewess.  I raised her with her mother’s consent through that terrifying first menstrual cycle. She came  to me quietly that she was bleeding from her female parts.  I did my best to let her know that I always experienced excruciating pain and that we would get the sanitary hygiene items she needed and ibuprofen or anything to alleviate her pain. In addition to this I
Random Thoughts

Yes… I am still here and beginning to blossom

I haven’t been on the site in a long time because I have been working very hard to repair a lot of things that I didn’t do. The good news is after all that hard work and great support, things are moving in the proper direction. The DOJ announced the FBI made serious errors handling the Nasser case from 2015.  No surprises there.  Maybe they will create a branch of female or non-binary LGTBQ+ investigators.  We’d be able to get shit done and put people behind bars, no matter how powerful the
2Siamese

2Siamese in Random Thoughts

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I now have THREE Siamese

While in between chaos, moves and chronic illness management, I managed a few positive things. She is a rescue.  Oh the irony.  
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Crazy busy and now there is time to think!

Hi All  It got terribly busy with advertising-related annual deadlines.  This was my first time 'solo' taking flight with the previous Ad Queen who supported me through our annual directory rush.  WHEW!  It's over thankfully.  We are a small demographic in this large metro area and most of our support related directly to community is done by volunteers.  It's a labor of love and hardly work when the impacts over time help improve the lives of others. Most recently we were notified that
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Crazy Nervous and Something New

I had a crazy busy and I mean... difficult challenge looming for a few months.  Thankfully, the honesty I met is that I was certainly never alone.  We were "studying a foreign ancient language" and needed to be able to do this as women in front of a crowd. Never intimidating. (*coughs*) Congratulations to every one of the six that went through class and made it.  OMG it was a nerve-wracking orientation over two days but I am so proud of every single one of us! We might be older th
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Yes -- It's the wee hours and I answer my phone

"Hey... can you help out this girl?" "Sure." I glance at the time and realize it is the DV "witching hour" as well as good training for the security guard who has a bit of trust I will do what is correct. "Hand the phone over to her, please." "Okay." "I am really sorry that we are speaking and if you're not comfortable talking about what is going on right now I understand that as well.  Just know you have someone in your corner who you can call and will indeed follow up.
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Big banking... and financial wheel of power and violence

Over the weekend, I took the opportunity to leverage my own voice on behalf of however many thousands if not millions were impacted by the horrifying behavior of Wells Fargo.  I related and articulated on those regulatory-mandated recorded lines my own personal story (paraphrased) and how the financial sector itself perpetuates interpersonal violence. My point was... we are in a zero-trust arena in the field of cybersecurity.  Two of their former retired employees exerted obnoxious and high
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Anniversary of her passing

Warning:  This contains language designed to at least elicit a bit of laughter.  Please put beverages down while reading. My rock, my constant source of laughter and total joy... was gone.  At that time, I was also under complete financial duress at the point of coming to grips with being too ill to work and the further slide down of the housing crisis.  I had no money for a plane ticket and nobody was offering from the 'family'.  Her death came as no great surprise as I knew from the previ
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Daylight and Newer Stuff

Last night I got quite the honor... of being the newest publicity director beginning in July.  I'm a little freaked because my best friend is actually the one with the degree in PR.  We laughed about that when I called her with the good news.  Looks like I'll be brushing up on skills I haven't used in decades and OMG I will have to wear make up daily again.
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Moving is "hell" on the already broken body

Gratefully, I'm lucky.  I'll thank my professional friend for assisting me out of what was supposed to be a temporary move into an actual home.  There's a door open with no strings attached other than providing my new roommate some of my 'dog whisperer' calming techniques for a rescue dog while he is working long hours.  And... my overall healing.  I'm supposed to focus on getting quality sleep in my own bed that has a door.  For somebody with RA like me, the couch in a cramped apartment with my
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Resale Girl -- Right Place Right Time

As I briefly visited a couple of resale second hand shops, I still had the Neiman Marcus "score feel"  today.  I am looking at so many Theodore Birkel-related albums on vinyl, I might as well be a 'psychic medium' or distant relative.  Seriously.  I have SIXTEEN Yiddish/Hebrew/Israeli vinyl LP albums that I found today. I could not be happier.  Really.  These are treasures beyond treasures.  In the past I'd bought a bluetooth capable turntable.  I realized today just how crucial that piece
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Cats and visible attitudes

There was no way to communicate to the 'two old fur dudes' that there would be a resident intruder.  I also didn't make any drastic environment changes other than getting the traditional apple head his own fuzzy house about a week beforehand.   When I brought the little guy in after a long drive back, I was met with angry adult males.  They were full on butthurt betrayed for a period of about twenty-four hours.  Then, they quickly adapted to the fact this little ball of chaos wasn't leaving
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Flawed Interrogation Tactics -- Part Two

I printed off what I wrote and took the book referenced in part one in to the PhD that I trust.  I read it aloud. "May I see the book?" "Absolutely." "That's damaging." "It is and although I despise the men who have made tons of money in law enforcement off of their sales practice, I won't burn the book.  I refuse to do what Hitler and many others have done by burning books.  I do NOT agree with the parochial 'version' of anger and if anything calling it a sin makes them mone
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Best Book I Bought -- Language of Emotions

"We are not allowed to be angry because it is perceived as a gender credibility issue and/or a hysterically manageable emotion that is to be stuffed." I'm revisiting the method my Mother taught me when I was very young to turn something into a form of art.  It involved several components of cultural tradition, cleaning, music and release.  Right now just thinking about it, I'm smiling.  I was fully allowed to discuss this relatively feared emotion but I also had to qualify it for validity b
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Flawed Interrogation Tactics

"Rape is the only crime where the victim is interrogated as the subject of interest.  Little attention is placed on the perpetrator's behavior, if any." Once attacked as a child, the math odds do not improve in the longterm favor of the victim.  This establishes a pattern that it's okay for silence and repeat abuse.  It doesn't matter who or what is responsible for the original criminal act, what's important is that the victim doesn't internalize the crime.  Why would I think this way?  Not
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Enraged Today But Possibly Not Tomorrow

Thirty seven years ago I was raped by what I consider a stranger as a teen walking home in the rain... someone I did not know personally nor had I ever spoken to or been in proximity.  The place is small and it is a place where telephones aren't necessary for words or rumors to travel.  Everybody "knows" everybody or seemingly so is familiar with the names or families.  I'd assume this is quite typical in everywhere remote small places. I do not remember details.  What I do remember clearly
2Siamese

2Siamese

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Public Speaking -- Solemn Shared Grief, Healing and Remembering

Notice:  Deliberately vague in specific areas for the purpose of anonymnity where you may find yourself in similar situations I received a phone call later in the evening on Thursday asking if I'd participate in our normal Friday evening activities.  Would I be willing... That I cannot handle at the moment, because I do not have a full grasp of the ancient language fluidly enough not to freeze in front of everybody.  I'm easing into this which under normal circumstances is out of everyone's
2Siamese

2Siamese

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