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  1. Hello

    Hi there @feralcat While your screen name caught my eye and garnered a smile, I want to extend one back to you as well with a warm welcome. It's never easy being new and for the reasons you were guided here. For that I am deeply sorry and trauma... just saying it can be a bit of relief. Brave on your part! You'll find a tremendous group of members and moderators to help you investigate your healing journey.
  2. Over the weekend, I took the opportunity to leverage my own voice on behalf of however many thousands if not millions were impacted by the horrifying behavior of Wells Fargo. I related and articulated on those regulatory-mandated recorded lines my own personal story (paraphrased) and how the financial sector itself perpetuates interpersonal violence. My point was... we are in a zero-trust arena in the field of cybersecurity. Two of their former retired employees exerted obnoxious and highly unprofessional behavior here at the local level, while maintaining their OWN retirement as well as InfraGard positions plus other board memberships. I don't tolerate 'the old boy network' with other women also siding with them --- because that hurts communities. It's deceptive, malicious and vengeful. Group mobbing the supposed weakest link because of disability challenges is perhaps the sickest thing I've had to endure. Banks as such at the Executive level will indeed continue to be berated directly and just maybe... it might kick in their brain cells into a new pattern. The 'war on terror' we purportedly fought inside the financial entities didn't quite catch our own bastard problem inside hurting Americans. I intend to change that. Have a great day!
  3. Warning: This contains language designed to at least elicit a bit of laughter. Please put beverages down while reading. My rock, my constant source of laughter and total joy... was gone. At that time, I was also under complete financial duress at the point of coming to grips with being too ill to work and the further slide down of the housing crisis. I had no money for a plane ticket and nobody was offering from the 'family'. Her death came as no great surprise as I knew from the previous year that my visit with her would be the last. She was indeed completely miserable in the hospice place with unfamiliar people and to her palate, "shitty institutional food". She had every right to say that because she was a phenomenal cook. While I wasn't given any choice in the matter where she resided, her sons with exception of one constantly complained about her. Sure. Thanks for putting her in a smelly box-like room with a curtain and a handful of drawers where the staff would rifle through and take anything of value. I know! I bought her this amazingly fun cashmere bright green lap blanket for a special occasion. Sticky fingers by 'nursing staff' is what happened to it. Not to mention the Aunt that walked off with ALL of her jewelry. I see now why she detested J. so much. But then again, J's mother was as 'cray cray' as could be. Psssst... it's the distant 'relative' by marriage people that never go in for professional help that I avoid! That makes my holidays I celebrate QUITE delightful without any excuse. "You m'lady are a wretched ass and I have to eat Valium to be around you for an hour." So I do not. That's how I gauge situations with certain people. Strangers are generally not at all a discomfort. Pretty much people know that those closest to us can indeed do the most damage. But not Gran. Oh my fun and second mother who took up the job after my Mom passed way, way too young. We danced. We could be silly. We could sing off key. She would quote Shakespeare in the kitchen and then I'd be expected to 'remember my lines' to keep whatever Act was going. It was never monetary. She was as practical as it got. If something didn't need replacing, it did not happen. After she passed, the one empathetic Uncle said, "what woman does not ever replace the carpeting, wall paper or furniture?" While not remarking about his now ex-wife's inability to keep a single career path... "It was good and perfect expensive carpeting when it was installed and shows no sign of wear. Not everybody follows design trends or keeping up with neighbors." Oh. Yeah, Depression-era kids who realized everything had value later on passing those critical values on to the offspring might have prevented the disposable society we have today. There were ZERO abuses in my maternal grandparent's home where I had the only safe space in my life. When she was gone... home went away forever. All I have left are photos, a few heirlooms and memories. But she would want me and you to smile and not cry. Out of all of her own personal tragedies with the death of several of her children, she always got back up. I hope if you are down, there are so many wonderful people here at AS to lift you back up!
  4. Last night I got quite the honor... of being the newest publicity director beginning in July. I'm a little freaked because my best friend is actually the one with the degree in PR. We laughed about that when I called her with the good news. Looks like I'll be brushing up on skills I haven't used in decades and OMG I will have to wear make up daily again.
  5. Gratefully, I'm lucky. I'll thank my professional friend for assisting me out of what was supposed to be a temporary move into an actual home. There's a door open with no strings attached other than providing my new roommate some of my 'dog whisperer' calming techniques for a rescue dog while he is working long hours. And... my overall healing. I'm supposed to focus on getting quality sleep in my own bed that has a door. For somebody with RA like me, the couch in a cramped apartment with my current Asperger roommate hasn't entirely benefitted me. It's been a quasi-hateful battleground for years digressing into language being hurled back and forth. So when I leave he can call me a filthy Jew behind my back. I'm simply NOT giving two shits about his level of unmedicated crazy. I don't have to. STEPS FORWARD: It's a big place. There is almost an identical set up in the back yard that reminds me of much, much better days. Any PTSD'er will remark about memories but this has got to be a personal Hollywood moment just of my very own. I'll have greenery to whack away at as well as dirt to dig in and add to the 'ambiance' of a bachelor pad. His mother is... she's actually thrilled I'm moving in. WHOA! I just about fell out over that warm welcome. But hey, I'm just glad she raised a gentleman son with all of those qualities I never sought out. THANKS MOM! It's not all tragic and terrible being broke and disabled but still cognitively functioning. I love my really cheap Rx that completely stopped the panic attacks in their tracks. I love my MALE Mds --- 'cause the female MDs I saw for decades were actually a part of the problem. While that might seem strange, I'm not at all going to enter that level of "cray cray" with professional drug abuse and career competition. I'm dealing with my own version of minor "cray cray" post 2008 economic crash --- losing everything followed by intimate family deaths. Positive stress is knowing that although there are "unknowns" in a new environment, leaving one that has asphyxia due to horrific oven 'hygiene' will eventually produce a laugh over time. The list of OMG I will never miss the male roommate parading around naked in front of the mirror while I'm sleeping fully clothed at night... yeah. That shit is crazy. I will NEVER miss it. Ever. I've had the opportunity to talk to wonderful people on the phone about moving services. There has been an exchange of laughter as I always try to keep things on the lighter side of right. Most of all, I have to trust people I do not know to help make this transition as smooth as possible. Maybe I'll make a new long-distance friend or two in the process. Anyway, I'll keep 'fighting the good fight' with a semi-smile on my face. And a full wine glass. Have an awesome rest of your week, folks. Thanks!
  6. Hello

    Hi @1444Fireflies and @selinacantrell That first post can be intimidating but you'll see the support teams are spectacular at welcoming you to AS. Glad you are here and for your trauma I am sorry what you've been through. You are in the right place with the right people to guide you where you want to go.
  7. So happy to have found this forum!

    @PhoenixRoxanne While it is very sad why you have found this site, it is also beautiful welcome because of the community itself. The people who set up the support structures here are amazing humans as well as the resilience of the survivors. Welcome!
  8. (After they get rid of the dynastic structural violence in the ENTIRE county in the political/LEO sphere...) The organization said its new agency's name is the Survivor Resource Center. They also said the new name is a way to promote a new image and will help more people understand the center's proposal. https://foxillinois.com/news/local/vermilion-county-rape-crisis-center-changes-name-location
  9. Hello everyone and thank you

    @Citizenerased Welcome to a wonderful community of support. The reasons of individual trauma that brought you here won't be ignored. I hope you find strength, validation and growth. The welcome teams and admin are rock stars.
  10. Everybody does this. Even those that won't admit it... dance with the cat!
  11. OH MY GOSH! SMILE ALERT! Thank you I won't post video of me dancing with the cat.
  12. Winter

  13. YAY! Jeep. Such the rebel @Capulet and well... I'm loving your FREEDOM posts. Rock on rebel trendsetter. That is as sexy as sexy can be!
  14. I'm in. ApplePay, PayPal, GoFundMe... just keep us posted. I can raise cash!
  15. Caps Lock Kitteh

    @Ghost of me Thank you! His dad is very large and I am hoping his full maturity size is similar. Steiny's psycho kitten paper rampages are quite comical as well as his adoration for socks. "See you soon"