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2Siamese

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Everything posted by 2Siamese

  1. Hi @DiiO Those feelings are absolutely real. I'd like to lend you a bit of hope and support! My little "Sis" struggles with what we chose to call despair. I asked her if she would be interested in tracking her overall day-to-day emotions with either a grading system of 1-3 or app. "1" being an overall crud day with "3" being the top end... after gathering data over time were able to find a trend. This alleviated a ton of pressure to the point she is having more "2" days than not. Middle ground is simply okay. Would something like this help you see progress? It's pretty easy. Thanks and "keep going! I'll cheer you on!"
  2. @CosmicDaze333 I'm available to chat or through messaging here should you like to reach out. ::Safe Hugs:: "Keep going! I'll cheer you on!"
  3. Welcome @DiiO to AS and I'd like to acknowledge what you went through to find us. Feel free to PM/DM if you have any questions or if you'd just like to chat. As Mary wrote, "You CAN Heal" and there is a lot of support! 2Siamese
  4. @Running Welcome Thanks for being here. I'd like to acknowledge what you went through that brought you here is never easy. It is scary at first! Agreed. Once you have experienced rejection everywhere else like most of us have even in medical facilities being mishandled... then you find AS genuinely safe and welcoming... it gets much easier indeed. You're accepted as well as always welcome. Thank you for braving that first big step. :: Safe Hugs :: 2Siamese "Keep going! I'll cheer you on!"
  5. Hi @CosmicDaze333 and welcome to AS. You'll find resources and support with safety in mind and as others have reiterated... kindness and dignity. Your trauma is being validated and let any of us know if you need assistance.
  6. Welcome @Arabellachristie I am a survivor of CSA and there were never the level of supportive persons until I found AS. Most were interested in research but never the end-to-end individualized listening to YOUR story. If and when you come to a point of telling your story of trauma, you will have loads of genuine support. It is difficult to open up and what you are doing is very brave indeed. Should you need a chat partner, I see lots of offers here reaching out when you are ready! WELCOME
  7. @Capulet BRAVE! I worked with D/HoH community and have been given insightful education as well as assistive technologies that help with challenges. Too often the 'ableist' crowd gets the headlines/credibility. The real champions do not get the spotlight and well... you just added a floodlight to how persons with disabilities (I call it different-abled) might be slighted, further debased and highly overlooked in communities involving SA investigations.
  8. Hi All It got terribly busy with advertising-related annual deadlines. This was my first time 'solo' taking flight with the previous Ad Queen who supported me through our annual directory rush. WHEW! It's over thankfully. We are a small demographic in this large metro area and most of our support related directly to community is done by volunteers. It's a labor of love and hardly work when the impacts over time help improve the lives of others. Most recently we were notified that area-wide we'd be collecting good 'wearables' in all sizes for refugee/immigrants. My background and 'people' know the horrors all too well of fleeing with nothing on your back and losing family members. I cannot honestly look the other way and be indifferent. That's not in my chemical make up to do so. Whether some call it 'empathetic' I think it is justified to plead for sane, safe and humane treatment of children. Helpless children who are traumatized and not large enough or mentally strong enough to withstand the harsh environment and lack of access to food/medical. Finally it will be an early evening for me. I'm generally not tired but this time the mental exhaustion matches the physical. It helps that I swam laps in the pool which increases my activity level and improves the rheumatoid. With that said... my mood improves as well! Shavua Tov! Make it a great and sweet week for all
  9. Hi @happykats and welcome to AS. I am sorry for what you went through and it is traumatic indeed when the feelings resurface. You have taken a courageous first step to a wonderful welcoming and supportive community. Please reach out via PM if you need help or just have questions navigating! Again welcome
  10. @cal Hopefully after you have read welcomes from others you will have a lessening sense of feeling alone or isolated. It is very brave of you to post an intro and I am truly sorry for what has brought you here. Perhaps a non-judgmental sense of community is what you require as you explore you own journey. There are so many wonderful people here who aren't dismissive, denigrating or otherwise judgmental. I hope you find a healing community with a commitment to getting you where you need to go. Thanks for being brave with that first post. It's hard. Keep going -- I'll cheer you on!
  11. @Hope49 Hi there! As a communications pro, this can obviously be intimidating but you're in an awesome space surrounded by like-minded individuals. You are also free to speak your mind about what happened to you. Truly sorry for what brought you here but I think you'll find a spectacularly humanizing community where you can relate and heal. Keep going! I'll cheer you on and look forward to your next posts when you feel comfortable doing so. WELCOME!
  12. Hi @Unl0v3d just want to acknowledge your posts and understandably we realize "life has no undo button". You should be free of repercussions or retaliative behavior here and wanted to introduce you to a safe and accommodating space! It's all good. We get up back again and lift others up. WELCOME! Keep going 'cause I'll cheer you on.
  13. @Leda It is never easy reaching out... until you meet this awesome crew of people that are not only welcoming, but healthy in every aspects. I am sorry for what brought you here but am happy that you feel confident to reach out! It's never okay to be assaulted anywhere or even your workplace. May you find solace and support within our healthy community to bring you a bit of peace. Tell your story in your own terms. We'll hold your hand while you do. In love + light... "2 Siamese"
  14. I had a crazy busy and I mean... difficult challenge looming for a few months. Thankfully, the honesty I met is that I was certainly never alone. We were "studying a foreign ancient language" and needed to be able to do this as women in front of a crowd. Never intimidating. (*coughs*) Congratulations to every one of the six that went through class and made it. OMG it was a nerve-wracking orientation over two days but I am so proud of every single one of us! We might be older than thirteen, but we are certainly more stubborn and I appreciate the opportunity. Love you all! Keep going ~ 'cause I am going to cheer you on.
  15. "Hey... can you help out this girl?" "Sure." I glance at the time and realize it is the DV "witching hour" as well as good training for the security guard who has a bit of trust I will do what is correct. "Hand the phone over to her, please." "Okay." "I am really sorry that we are speaking and if you're not comfortable talking about what is going on right now I understand that as well. Just know you have someone in your corner who you can call and will indeed follow up." She sounded VERY young. I wanted to collapse but could not. I had to be strong. Called him back. "She had my number 24/7?" "Yes." "Okay. We'll go from there."
  16. 2Siamese

    Hello

    Hi there @feralcat While your screen name caught my eye and garnered a smile, I want to extend one back to you as well with a warm welcome. It's never easy being new and for the reasons you were guided here. For that I am deeply sorry and trauma... just saying it can be a bit of relief. Brave on your part! You'll find a tremendous group of members and moderators to help you investigate your healing journey.
  17. Over the weekend, I took the opportunity to leverage my own voice on behalf of however many thousands if not millions were impacted by the horrifying behavior of Wells Fargo. I related and articulated on those regulatory-mandated recorded lines my own personal story (paraphrased) and how the financial sector itself perpetuates interpersonal violence. My point was... we are in a zero-trust arena in the field of cybersecurity. Two of their former retired employees exerted obnoxious and highly unprofessional behavior here at the local level, while maintaining their OWN retirement as well as InfraGard positions plus other board memberships. I don't tolerate 'the old boy network' with other women also siding with them --- because that hurts communities. It's deceptive, malicious and vengeful. Group mobbing the supposed weakest link because of disability challenges is perhaps the sickest thing I've had to endure. Banks as such at the Executive level will indeed continue to be berated directly and just maybe... it might kick in their brain cells into a new pattern. The 'war on terror' we purportedly fought inside the financial entities didn't quite catch our own bastard problem inside hurting Americans. I intend to change that. Have a great day!
  18. Warning: This contains language designed to at least elicit a bit of laughter. Please put beverages down while reading. My rock, my constant source of laughter and total joy... was gone. At that time, I was also under complete financial duress at the point of coming to grips with being too ill to work and the further slide down of the housing crisis. I had no money for a plane ticket and nobody was offering from the 'family'. Her death came as no great surprise as I knew from the previous year that my visit with her would be the last. She was indeed completely miserable in the hospice place with unfamiliar people and to her palate, "shitty institutional food". She had every right to say that because she was a phenomenal cook. While I wasn't given any choice in the matter where she resided, her sons with exception of one constantly complained about her. Sure. Thanks for putting her in a smelly box-like room with a curtain and a handful of drawers where the staff would rifle through and take anything of value. I know! I bought her this amazingly fun cashmere bright green lap blanket for a special occasion. Sticky fingers by 'nursing staff' is what happened to it. Not to mention the Aunt that walked off with ALL of her jewelry. I see now why she detested J. so much. But then again, J's mother was as 'cray cray' as could be. Psssst... it's the distant 'relative' by marriage people that never go in for professional help that I avoid! That makes my holidays I celebrate QUITE delightful without any excuse. "You m'lady are a wretched ass and I have to eat Valium to be around you for an hour." So I do not. That's how I gauge situations with certain people. Strangers are generally not at all a discomfort. Pretty much people know that those closest to us can indeed do the most damage. But not Gran. Oh my fun and second mother who took up the job after my Mom passed way, way too young. We danced. We could be silly. We could sing off key. She would quote Shakespeare in the kitchen and then I'd be expected to 'remember my lines' to keep whatever Act was going. It was never monetary. She was as practical as it got. If something didn't need replacing, it did not happen. After she passed, the one empathetic Uncle said, "what woman does not ever replace the carpeting, wall paper or furniture?" While not remarking about his now ex-wife's inability to keep a single career path... "It was good and perfect expensive carpeting when it was installed and shows no sign of wear. Not everybody follows design trends or keeping up with neighbors." Oh. Yeah, Depression-era kids who realized everything had value later on passing those critical values on to the offspring might have prevented the disposable society we have today. There were ZERO abuses in my maternal grandparent's home where I had the only safe space in my life. When she was gone... home went away forever. All I have left are photos, a few heirlooms and memories. But she would want me and you to smile and not cry. Out of all of her own personal tragedies with the death of several of her children, she always got back up. I hope if you are down, there are so many wonderful people here at AS to lift you back up!
  19. Last night I got quite the honor... of being the newest publicity director beginning in July. I'm a little freaked because my best friend is actually the one with the degree in PR. We laughed about that when I called her with the good news. Looks like I'll be brushing up on skills I haven't used in decades and OMG I will have to wear make up daily again.
  20. Gratefully, I'm lucky. I'll thank my professional friend for assisting me out of what was supposed to be a temporary move into an actual home. There's a door open with no strings attached other than providing my new roommate some of my 'dog whisperer' calming techniques for a rescue dog while he is working long hours. And... my overall healing. I'm supposed to focus on getting quality sleep in my own bed that has a door. For somebody with RA like me, the couch in a cramped apartment with my current Asperger roommate hasn't entirely benefitted me. It's been a quasi-hateful battleground for years digressing into language being hurled back and forth. So when I leave he can call me a filthy Jew behind my back. I'm simply NOT giving two shits about his level of unmedicated crazy. I don't have to. STEPS FORWARD: It's a big place. There is almost an identical set up in the back yard that reminds me of much, much better days. Any PTSD'er will remark about memories but this has got to be a personal Hollywood moment just of my very own. I'll have greenery to whack away at as well as dirt to dig in and add to the 'ambiance' of a bachelor pad. His mother is... she's actually thrilled I'm moving in. WHOA! I just about fell out over that warm welcome. But hey, I'm just glad she raised a gentleman son with all of those qualities I never sought out. THANKS MOM! It's not all tragic and terrible being broke and disabled but still cognitively functioning. I love my really cheap Rx that completely stopped the panic attacks in their tracks. I love my MALE Mds --- 'cause the female MDs I saw for decades were actually a part of the problem. While that might seem strange, I'm not at all going to enter that level of "cray cray" with professional drug abuse and career competition. I'm dealing with my own version of minor "cray cray" post 2008 economic crash --- losing everything followed by intimate family deaths. Positive stress is knowing that although there are "unknowns" in a new environment, leaving one that has asphyxia due to horrific oven 'hygiene' will eventually produce a laugh over time. The list of OMG I will never miss the male roommate parading around naked in front of the mirror while I'm sleeping fully clothed at night... yeah. That shit is crazy. I will NEVER miss it. Ever. I've had the opportunity to talk to wonderful people on the phone about moving services. There has been an exchange of laughter as I always try to keep things on the lighter side of right. Most of all, I have to trust people I do not know to help make this transition as smooth as possible. Maybe I'll make a new long-distance friend or two in the process. Anyway, I'll keep 'fighting the good fight' with a semi-smile on my face. And a full wine glass. Have an awesome rest of your week, folks. Thanks!
  21. 2Siamese

    Hello

    Hi @1444Fireflies and @selinacantrell That first post can be intimidating but you'll see the support teams are spectacular at welcoming you to AS. Glad you are here and for your trauma I am sorry what you've been through. You are in the right place with the right people to guide you where you want to go.
  22. @PhoenixRoxanne While it is very sad why you have found this site, it is also beautiful welcome because of the community itself. The people who set up the support structures here are amazing humans as well as the resilience of the survivors. Welcome!
  23. (After they get rid of the dynastic structural violence in the ENTIRE county in the political/LEO sphere...) The organization said its new agency's name is the Survivor Resource Center. They also said the new name is a way to promote a new image and will help more people understand the center's proposal. https://foxillinois.com/news/local/vermilion-county-rape-crisis-center-changes-name-location
  24. @Citizenerased Welcome to a wonderful community of support. The reasons of individual trauma that brought you here won't be ignored. I hope you find strength, validation and growth. The welcome teams and admin are rock stars.
  25. Everybody does this. Even those that won't admit it... dance with the cat!
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