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  1. Hi everyone. I'm Cae (not my legal name so I don't mind sharing it), I'm afab nonbinary (they/them). I had a different account once but I forgot my login and had to make a new one. I'm a survivor of CSA, SA, and as of last month R***. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that last one. It was at the hands of my bf who I thought could never do such a thing and I've been really struggling lately and I've had no one I could talk to about it. I think I never truly believed it would happen to me until it did.
  2. Hi! I’m LittleWolf - which is a username I’ve never gone by before, so I don’t quite know what shortened versions will come from it yet. (It’ll be a surprise!) I use she/her pronouns. I’m a lesbian who is recovering from CSA and intimate partner violence. Until a few days ago, I had never told anyone about what happened to me. I told a trusted mentor in my life, who promptly started looking for free and accessible resources for survivors, and forwarded me the link to this website. It’s still hard to believe I belong here, to believe my own story - but I know I want to be in a better
  3. Just saying hello, and preemptively thanking everyone here. I use the username LostPunchbug (Punchbug for short is fine). I am a transmasculine (FtM) person, I use he/they pronouns, and I am in my late 20's. I am a survivor, mainly hoping to find support eventually. I have a couple of therapists, and they have encouraged me to reach out to a community like this, so thank you for letting me join.
  4. Well hello there! I'm Yeenodon, agender person assigned female at birth (you can refer to me as she, I don't mind at all!). After struggling with consequences of terrible events I went through I decided to seek help and talk. Eventually I found this forum that was still active! I hope to be able to find closure and finally moving on with life without memories living rent-free in my head. If I can also give back support, I would happily do so! A few words about myself, I'm a young adult living in Europe. I'm a lover of natural history, particularly anything regardin
  5. Hello, well im "Charlee" (not my real name but I really like it (shar-lee not Charlie) and im here because ive endured emotional abuse, SA, rape & coercion and I havnt really had many positive and safe experiences with men.. I now suffer with depression, anxiety, cPTSD, body dysmorphia and an eating disorder (and SH). For the longest time I didnt link any of these behaviours to the abuse, I didnt even know I had cPTSD till 2019, and didnt know what anxiety was till a few years ago, and ive been suffering for about 10 years now. Im not coping well with all of this trauma. A lot of the
  6. Hi folks I've been a member for a short while now, just reading different corners of this forum, it feels I have found a safe space to share my experiences. It has been difficult to find support, especially as some of my most recent experiences involved a long-term friend I thought I could trust. I have been put on a waiting list for counselling support with a dedicated rape crisis service since last November with no signs of a date to receive support yet. This makes me feel forgotten about, or like my feelings don't matter, or that what happened to me is something easy to shrug off and c
  7. Hello there! I’m Shannonnie, and I’m thankful to be here! A little about me? I’m married to a great man, a mother of teen boys, and we have fur babies too. I work in food service and enjoy interacting with our customers. I’m an amateur gardener, rookie hula hooper, and enjoy DIY projects. I enjoy photographing nature & life, and I enjoy writing. I have been recovering from the abuse for 21 years. I recently started searching for online support networks after a total meltdown. During this episode, as I call them, I recognized ways that the trauma is impacting my current life. I re
  8. "Hi there" seems like an awkwardly cheerful way to introduce myself on this particular forum but I think it's fitting since I am often both awkward and cheerful. My name is Myra. I'm part of the lgbtq+ community and have been married for 6 years. I am currently working on both my PTSD and eating disorder recovery. My hobbies include doing whatever is a giant F U to the eating disorder, playing Harry Potter trivia, gardening and growing my own food, and lots of handicrafts to keep me busy like spinning yarn and painting. I am a pet person who, besides having a service dog for my PTSD, also has
  9. Hi, I'm Time? I guess. (Warning: Sad vibes to follow) Talking about what happened online scares me. I know that it happened, but putting it into words feels like shattering whatever's left of the illusion that I am normal. I guess some part of me still hopes that I'm making it up. We all know I'm not. I just want to be free from this weight on me. Sometimes it feels like what happened is constantly lurking in the back of my mind, waiting for me to slip up so it can destroy me. I've talked to people about it, a lot of people. I know others with the same experiences, so why do I still feel so al
  10. Garnet

    Hello

    Just wanted to say hello! My therapist recommended this website to me. I am still confused and have a lot of conflicting feelings (and terrible feelings) about what happened to me, but I am happy to be here. I've read through a lot of information so far, and everyone seems very supportive. Thank you all for making and being a part of such an important community!
  11. I am not sure if I am posting correctly. But Hi, I guess I’ll go by T here please. My experiences were about 5 years ago. The worst one still affects me to this day in my relationship of 2 years and in my every day life. Ranging from panic attacks sourced from reoccurring memories or full on mental breakdowns from all of my emotions triggered by the flashbacks to issues with my current s*x life. It greatly affected my social life, my personal relationships, my home life, familial relationships- everything. I never dealt with the trauma because I never knew how to. I was seeing a therapist at t
  12. Hello all, It seems polite to offer a quick introduction to the members of this forum, so I'm popping in to say hello. I'm here to - hopefully - gain a community. It's been years and years since I've been a part of a forum for survivors. I was 15 when I first joined one, on Livejournal, ha, and though I wasn't nearly ready to deal with the trauma that I had experienced then, I found it to be a place of support and encouragement. It was the only safe space that I had to share my experience with sexual abuse as a child. It was a place where I was told, "I believe you," and "it's not
  13. Kaley

    Hello

    Hello AS, I found this group online after looking for support. And I think this anonymous outlet is perfect. During quarantine I’ve just been feeling more alone and isolated with no one to relate to. I’m a more recent survivor like in February but some other things happened a while back too. Since feb I’ve been taking steps to heal but it’s really hard. I’ve already met with 2 different therapists and I’ve found they help me for a few sessions and then I just can’t continue and I’m not really sure why. Idk I want to heal but sometimes I feel like I can’t. I really just try to forget and pus
  14. I've been dealing with recovered memories of childhood sexual abuse for a few years. My therapist recently suggested that a support group would be a good idea (and I agree with him) and since there aren't any groups currently meeting due to the pandemic, I thought I'd look online. I'm also trans (FTM) and have been looking for trans-specific support, so I'm glad to see that's available here. On the lighter side of things, I'm interested in history and art. I enjoy cooking, yoga, my spiritual practice, poetry, and being in nature.
  15. Hi there, I guess we can call me Panda. It's been almost exactly 10 years since my abusive relationship started, and now I'm older, away, and am raising a disabled child that has half of my abuser's genes. 6 yrs of custody battles later, and I'm still not over everything. Hoping joining a community will help me figure things out. How is everyone?
  16. Hi, I'm kashjack. I'm a nonbinary/transmasculine human. I have osdd which means I sometimes refer to myself as he and sometimes as she depending on who's at the front. Survivor or sexual abuse on and off from 2-26. Survivor also of rape, assault and emotional abuse. I have complex ptsd. I used to be on this forum I think, many years ago. Or at least I visited the page. I have come and gone in my recovery but right now is a hard time. I'm hoping that connecting might help me manage my constant flashbacks and battle with self harm. So that's me.
  17. sweeney

    Hello

    Hello🌻 I'm brand new to the forum and figured I'd start with an introduction post. Without giving much information you can probably guess why I'm here. Hoping this will end up as a useful resource for me as I struggle a lot with what's happened to me. I'm not quite sure what else to put here. I guess some small facts about me are I'm currently studying biology. I have big interests in art and the paranormal. A little out there but quite fun for me.
  18. Hi everyone. This is first day on this forum and my second self-initiated post. Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 32 year old female from Canada and a survivor of a 24 year old childhood trauma. I was encouraged to find an anonymous community of support by my husband just to give myself a place to unwind and discuss my traumas with people who are not judging and can relate like others in my life cannot. I am thankful to have found this community and hope to share my story soon when I can find the words and the strength for it.
  19. Hello everyone, It's always been hard for me to reach out for help but a recent event has left me feeling trapped in my own head and unable to confide in anyone close to me. Just so we're not strangers: I'm 23 years old, identify as a ciswoman & pansexual, and love to create art whether it's a drawing or jewelry or a pair of mittens or a song on my ukulele. I live in my feelings. When I'm not doing social work (I'm much better at dealing with the emotional pain of others) I'm usually reading in my hammock soaking up the Texas heat or playing frisbee/soccer/etc or spending time being
  20. Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself quickly here as I’m brand new to this forum and although I’m a fairly anxious person by nature, I’m looking forward to coming out of my shell a bit and working through my stuff. A close friend of mine recommended this forum and by looking through quickly I can see how supportive and positive this space is! I’m a survivor of multiple assaults dating back ten years and have always put healing on the back burner until now. I look forward to the next steps in my journey and getting to connect with fellow survivors!
  21. Hello Everyone, First of all, I would like to say thank you to the creators, admins, moderators, and members of this space. I am 20 days into my healing journey, and I've never felt so alone. I am grateful to have found a community of strong survivors: men, women, and non-binary individuals who understand what this feels like. I'm a pretty down to earth person. I like the slow and simple life. Most nights after work I'm just home in my sweats cooking dinner and watching The Office. I'm a very curious person so I love learning about and trying new things, BUT I also overthink everyt
  22. Hello AS community, I'm Bambs an even shorter nickname off of Bambi, which my friends call me. I'm a 25 year old woman and I enjoy working out, pole dancing, gaming and watching DnD streams while cuddling my dog. I am joining this community a few days before I begin therapy to try and help me break out a little and get used to talking about difficult things which I do not enjoy. I would love to chat with women around my age or older into the same things as me or who have had similar experiences which I'll post about in the appropriate thread. Much love Xx
  23. Hello all. I found this site via an internet search. I was really just looking for a chat room, because it helps me personally to have anonymous chat, especially with people who have actually been through what I have/can more directly relate to my experiences. I have been having a pretty horrible time dealing with a lot of things, and feelings surrounding my assault/reporting are definitely at the foreground of that. However, I also saw that I don't think I am able to access chat unless I post 10 or more topics. So, here I am, to start. I hope you all are doing well. I will now say
  24. Hi everyone. I'm Su, and I'm really happy to be here. I heard about After Silence through a Reddit forum for survivors called r/rape (Reddit is a popular site for all different kinds of forums, ranging from pop culture and news to anonymous chatroom therapy - that's what r/rape was). Although r/rape was somewhat helpful in the beginning - I felt validated and comforted by the other survivors there - we were often bullied and tormented by trolls and perverts who would take our venting/ranting posts and turn them into sick jokes and sexual fantasies. Reddit is a very loose website so it was easy
  25. Hey everyone, My name is Danah, and I'm proud to say that I'm processing my trauma in therapy, after avoiding it for so long. I used to feel a paralyzing fear, whenever I attempted to "go there" in the past. But this time feels different, I feel really angry and brave at the same time. Like I'm ready to go to war or something. I've been on the road to recovery: healthy diet, medication, meditation, exercise, and therapy. And I felt this urgency to join a support group. I'm Middle Eastern, and the nature of my trauma is quite difficult to discuss with other people in my country, to say the
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