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Charlee

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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. I've been really triggered lately and couldn't come on here and read peoples posts and respond because its just too triggering. So this lil update here is really all I can post for now. I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine yesterday and actually feel pretty fine now, just a sore arm. My depression has lifted a little, its not so overwhelming anymore but my anxiety is terrible, I can't go out without shaking and feeling so tense and I can't talk to people really anymore. My sleep is pretty sporadic, some nights are good, some I don't sleep much at all but at least I haven't had a terrible nightmare in a few weeks now. Therapy is going ok, I've had two sessions now,  I'm trying to be as open and honest about everything, I've never really talked so freely with anyone before but I'm so tired of having these massive walls and not letting anyone in but being so haunted by my past... I still can't imagine a life where I don't feel like this but I guess we shall see.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      I'm proud of you for several things...for taking care of yourself and not reading posts when they might trigger you, for getting your second vaccine, and for being open and honest in therapy. So proud of you! I hope your anxiety eases up for you. I'm sorry you've been struggling a lot with it. :comfort: Sending you well wishes and tons of support. ❤️ 

    2. Charlee

      Charlee

      Thanks mini, I do feel like im feeling slightly better every day, baby steps :) :throb:

  2. I had to go outside and collect the bin today and I immediately felt anxious and started shaking, sometimes im ok to go outside but other times it hardly takes anything to trigger my anxiety anymore :unsure:

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Charlee. :( It sucks when anxiety creeps up out of nowhere like that. Sitting with you. ❤️ :hug:

    2. Charlee

      Charlee

      Thanks mini, I feel ok now <3

    3. Field8

      Field8

      I’m so sorry. Sitting with you.

  3. I feel this, I feel you. It wasn't your fault. But I know that voice and how convincing it is
  4. feeling pretty awful today :( anxious, sad, SH urges, not feeling up to working. What a shit year its been.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Charlee

      Charlee

      Thanks mini 🙏🙏 you’re always so wonderful and supportive, I wish I had a friend like you irl, thank you ❤️

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      Aww, you're so welcome. ❤️ Thank you for your sweetness! 🥰 We may not be IRL, but you can still consider me an online friend, and I consider you one as well. So it's all good. :) 

    4. Charlee

      Charlee

      Aw thanks, I will consider you as one :hug:

  5. Honestly sometimes I do manage to have a good few days where I’m not thinking about it, but then the ptsd shudders come back and i’m welcomed with unwanted flashbacks. But I think they will become fewer as more time passes *hopefully 🤞🤞🤞
  6. She's gorgeous 🥰 Thanks for the welcome 😊
  7. Hello, well im "Charlee" (not my real name but I really like it (shar-lee not Charlie) and im here because ive endured emotional abuse, SA, rape & coercion and I havnt really had many positive and safe experiences with men.. I now suffer with depression, anxiety, cPTSD, body dysmorphia and an eating disorder (and SH). For the longest time I didnt link any of these behaviours to the abuse, I didnt even know I had cPTSD till 2019, and didnt know what anxiety was till a few years ago, and ive been suffering for about 10 years now. Im not coping well with all of this trauma. A lot of the
  8. Charlee

    new

    Thats really tough, welcome, i'm new too and am trying to figure out how to heal. I hope you feel better soon
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