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About girlsnz

  • Birthday 06/21/1964

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  1. I have always been successful with everything I have attempted. I have a successful career. I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children. I thought i had control of everything and everything in my life was just the way it was supposed to be. i only had one problem that concerned me. I was not capable of feeling much emotion. But other than that life was good. Then my brother died suddenly. The rug was pulled out from under me. I fell down and did not know how to get back up. I could not turn off all the pain that resulted from this loss. 5 months later and I lost a baby in my 5th month of my pregnency. Suddenly i did not have control. These horrible things were happening at i could not do anything to stop them. September will the 10th anniversery of my brother's death. I have been in counselling for 9 or those years. I have come to realize that I excelled and managed so well because I was afraid not to. I needed everything structured and controlled in order for me to feel any sense of security. I also realized I was trying to gain my father's love and approval by excelling at everything I did. Never worked- but i kept trying. I have been dealing with memories of sexual abuse for the past year and 1/2. Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it. Maybe I would have been better off if all of the memories had stayed buried. But I did remember and now I must deal with them because they won't go away no matter how hard I try to ignore them. To make a long story short.... Yes, I can relate to how you feel. It seems like alot of us can.
  2. I have been in the chat room a few times since it has changed-Your right no one is ever there. I could not get in at first after the chat room changed- I had to download Java from the internet
  3. girlsnz

    I'm New

    I am also new. I am so glad I found this website. I have been looking for a support group and there are none close to me. The closest is about an hour away from me. It is an answer to a prayer
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