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Found 4 results

  1. I am not sure if I am posting correctly. But Hi, I guess I’ll go by T here please. My experiences were about 5 years ago. The worst one still affects me to this day in my relationship of 2 years and in my every day life. Ranging from panic attacks sourced from reoccurring memories or full on mental breakdowns from all of my emotions triggered by the flashbacks to issues with my current s*x life. It greatly affected my social life, my personal relationships, my home life, familial relationships- everything. I never dealt with the trauma because I never knew how to. I was seeing a therapist at the time but I told her nothing about the incidents because I was scared that she might tell my mother because at the time I was a minor and that my mother would get mad at me for it all. I also recently had a conversation with my mom about the president and the allegations against him. I asked her if I told her that someone who was running for office had taken advantage of me, would she believe me or still vote for them and she said that she would need proof from me first. To hear that from my own mother as a survivor was one of the most heartbreaking things she has ever said to me. I am with a therapist now, and I have informed her of my experiences, but she says the only solution is to pretend like my offender is sitting in a chair and “give him a piece of my mind” and to tell him how I feel about him and etc. When I told her that I don’t think that will help me and asked if there was anything else I could do, she basically told me no. Which is just another let down. I am feeling more hopeless than ever. I am stuck with this trauma and have absolutely no idea how to process it, deal with it, or most importantly heal from it. I have come here from a crisis counselor post on reddit. I am searching for something, anything that could help me get through this constant itch in my brain.
  2. I'm new here and want to share but I'm also very afraid. I have told some of my history over the years but there are other things that I've never spoken of. I've read that in order to really start healing, you need to let it out and speak your truth but when I think of sharing these other, secret things, I feel myself shutting down. I also have bpd so struggle with very intense emotions. I am in a much better state of mind than in the past, take medication that helps immensely and do have a strong support system now. I have had a bit of counselling in the past and it's been noticed that I don't look at the person I'm sharing difficult things with. Is that normal? If I can finally manage to tell my stories once, will it become easier?
  3. Hello. I am new to After Silence. My therapist recommended that it would be a good part of my healing journey to try and connect with other survivors. I have been in therapy for close to 10 years now healing from childhood sexual abuse. Late last year I confronted my abuser. It’s been a struggle because some family members aren’t as supportive as I would of hoped they would of been. Sometimes I do feel like I am alone because it’s hard to describe to others exactly how it feels to be traumatized by sexual abuse. I wanted to first say thank you to After Silence for letting me join and thank you for letting me share a little bit of my story.
  4. Hi, my name is Nikki. My friend told me about this site and I thought that I'd give it a try. I was violated, beaten, and almost lost my life about a month ago. About a week after everything happened, I was pressured to go back to work by my mother. So I went back to work for a fairly new job. I have had a few break downs at work at my desk. Puddles of tears actually, and people looked at me like I was crazy. Most recently, this past Thursday to be exact. I had my most recent breakdown as it was exactly a month that all of this happened. I remembered waking up in the hospital and looking at my son and my mother looked at me in aw. I felt like I was an exhibit at a circus or the museum how everyone looked at me. I was ashamed, scared, angry, and tired all at once. I have a psychiatrist now and she is helpful with me coping with the situation, however I am lost and felt this was a good way to start.
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