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kflakers

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Everything posted by kflakers

  1. change password

  2. change password

  3. hehe no prob!!!!!!<stomp and clab until hands and feet are achy....>
  4. great post and nod in agreement with amykat and curly. i have accepted <partly> that the childhood a$use wasn't my fault, and am working on forgiving myself. the other it'll take more time to forgive myself,but i feel myself having more empowered/good days than bad and the bad/ugly weren't as 'intense' <counselor taught me intensity> as it was before. i definately still have the denial vs acceptance part, not denial of that it happend..for both i accepted it happend, but denial of how much pain i'm in because of what happend and allowing my emotions and not fight it so much and be easier on myeslf and not punish myself...etc along that line. i do have a lot of guilt not reporting both but i did what i had to do to survive and it isn't my guilt to carry, nor is it fair for me with everything else i already throw on my back. i love and so proud/honored for the compassion and understanding i have of people because of my pain in life, but i accept and admit that i am far from being 'normal' or whatever the terms is. yes the bad days are less but they're still there and some days it's horrific and i still go back to the 'what if' and such....really difficult to fight that and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i try to focus on the positive of compassion and such i have, as i have always said. 'without pain and suffering. there is no compassion'. you can even find the word PAIN in comPAssIoN....today in counseling i'm finally able to open up<slightly> about my childhood a#use and feel i'm at the place right now in my life, forgiveness on myself then my parents later on. i don't want to keep letting that affect my life and hold me back, life is so much more than what they did and i'm tired of being 'stuck' in that moment of my life...i deserve and ACCEPT/KNOW i want a better life and not feel 'held back' by what happend for more than 10 years. there are lots of quotes that i love that are related to this aspect/post. 'holding on to anger is like holding onto a piece of charcoal, in the end you're the only 1 getting burned.' 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' 'strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from an indomitable will'.
  5. awesome post and can't be put any other way. will save this and maybe print out later. said PERFECTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we DEFINATELY deserve our lives back!!! <stomp feet to make more noise>
  6. i thank this forum and the friends i've known/met forever also. i can't thank the board enough for existing and it has helped me so much since i joined.....thank you mods and keep up the good work. without this forum, i'm not sure i'd be right now and all. :clap :
  7. kflakers

    Hello.

    welcome hun! (hug if allowed)
  8. welcome Kristal, this is a superb site and sorry to hear your friend have a hard time supporting you, know that we're here for you always no matter what. a real close friend/survivor/sister to me lives in vegas also, or as she calls it "Lo$$ Wage$$" heheh, i'm sure you call it that also as we tourists empty out our wallets there.
  9. kflakers

    Hi.

    welcome! (big hug) this site will help you for sure
  10. You keep living in the past. You act like you have the worst problem in the world and you are this unique person. You should just keep talking to more counselors because obviously the one you're talking to isn't helping. "You just take drugs" <and i don't, unless you count iron sulfate and folic acid for anemia 'drugs'>. do you in a way enjoy playing as a victim? from a friend!!! after i told someone i know i was 'hurt'....and i told her i was offered 10 sessions for free at counseling, she's all..ohh you'll be fine with a simple brush of the hand. and more...
  11. welcome and sorry to hear that you had to endure that. it is NOT your fault....ever! I know you're a very strong gal take your time around here and it is a superb place for support.
  12. thanks! and nope i dont' have that...can i get it for Christmas present? ahhaa
  13. where is the "Carbon copy box" thingie, i looked everywhere and don't see it.
  14. Hi and welcome!!! <waves>
  15. welcoem to the board!! this is a great site and i love that show by the way, SVU. she's an amazing actress and i like her site also, seen it several times
  16. kflakers

    Hello

    welcome to AS, hope you find all the support here as we all have. big hug
  17. great name!!!! also..hah we need more of that here in Cali actually...too dry. sigh.
  18. hearing these comments is literally making my stomach turn and repulsive, not to mention infuriating..most importantly disugsted. i am sooo sorry to you all who have had to endure that kind of invalidation...no 1 ever ever ever deserves it...these people don't get it..and hope they never do...but just...pisses me off. i've heard some harsh ones too....but yeah.
  19. hi!! Run to give you a hug, welcome to the board and i'm sure you<as i and all of us here> have been overwhelmd with support at all times. i'm sure you'll find the support and validation you seek and did i mention, nice to meet you?! heeh so WELCOME!!!!!!!! Kitty
  20. welcome and hope you find the support you need on here. this is a great site!!
  21. welcome to the site!!!!!! hope you can find the support you need<and you will get tons..trust me> on this site. i joined here when i was 20 as well...hope it goes well for you.
  22. Hope you can find the support you need on here. it is trully a wonderful site and the people on here are amazing and courageous.
  23. wow reading this is like totally reading me. the 1st 3 sentences you said are EXACTLY what i want to do, be numb not feel..bary, ask many people who talked to me 2 or 3 nights ago..i want to just not talk about it again........ever..i've had people tell me its in the past and i mean.........i know that but sigh...
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