curlyrin

Thank you....I haven't been on this site for a long time and I am having a hard time right now.... rereading my own post was exactly what I needed to realize I was running again. It is time to let go and let God again!

thank you for this one. I needed that.

wow. You guys are awesome. Thank you so much for your replies and discussion. I have been holding on to that struggle on my own for a long time. People have tried to help me process it, but I just have never felt like they "get it" (haven't been through similar experiences). You all, you get it....and you make my mind turn (in a good way!) thank you!

Are you all able to accept what happened to You? Are any of you still in denial or maybe bounce between acceptance and denial? I wrote this a few days ago when I was feeling empowered, but then I go through these moments where I want to just be this "other me" who is healthy and "normal" and had a normal childhood and have no "issues". I think sometimes I am just tired of having these "moments" where I do or say or react to something and then I have to try and figure out why. Wish I could say and feel this acceptance thing all the time.

Welcome. Hope to see you around the boards, Curly

Welcome! Curly

Thank You. It took FOREVER to write. Now, to just get my heart to completely believe what my brain says....

Acceptance does not mean I condone the behavior. It does not mean that I am ok with what happened, nor does it mean that I throw my hands in the air and say "well, it happened, I'm over it". It does not wipe away the aftermath or the damage inflicted by the abuse. Acceptance is in fact, absence of denial. It means, I stop running and I walk straight into the face of reality, the face of that little girl, that hurting and sad little girl, and I look her in the eyes and I acknowledge what happened to her. I accept the truth and the reality of what happened to her, what happened to me. I d