great post and nod in agreement with amykat and curly. i have accepted <partly> that the childhood a$use wasn't my fault, and am working on forgiving myself. the other it'll take more time to forgive myself,but i feel myself having more empowered/good days than bad and the bad/ugly weren't as 'intense' <counselor taught me intensity> as it was before. i definately still have the denial vs acceptance part, not denial of that it happend..for both i accepted it happend, but denial of how much pain i'm in because of what happend and allowing my emotions and not fight it so much and be easier on myeslf and not punish myself...etc along that line. i do have a lot of guilt not reporting both but i did what i had to do to survive and it isn't my guilt to carry, nor is it fair for me with everything else i already throw on my back. i love and so proud/honored for the compassion and understanding i have of people because of my pain in life, but i accept and admit that i am far from being 'normal' or whatever the terms is. yes the bad days are less but they're still there and some days it's horrific and i still go back to the 'what if' and such....really difficult to fight that and see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i try to focus on the positive of compassion and such i have, as i have always said. 'without pain and suffering. there is no compassion'. you can even find the word PAIN in comPAssIoN....today in counseling i'm finally able to open up<slightly> about my childhood a#use and feel i'm at the place right now in my life, forgiveness on myself then my parents later on. i don't want to keep letting that affect my life and hold me back, life is so much more than what they did and i'm tired of being 'stuck' in that moment of my life...i deserve and ACCEPT/KNOW i want a better life and not feel 'held back' by what happend for more than 10 years.
there are lots of quotes that i love that are related to this aspect/post.
'holding on to anger is like holding onto a piece of charcoal, in the end you're the only 1 getting burned.'
'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'
'strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from an indomitable will'.