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The Inner Child Thread

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feels sad an scared

is this worth it? :(

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Dear Young one,

I know I didnt talk to you before. You are confused. You have no clue whats going on. Think this is okay. I want to tell you thats not okay, it doesnt mean you are bad, you dont deserve this. If you want me to punch her, I will? I am sorry you have to witness this, your soul is innocent, I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish you start talking to me, it's been long time,but I know you can. I promise you I will get you out of here, you will not be there anymore, that's not the place you should be. You dont belong there, and you dont deserve this. People who hurt you should be punished for that, I will do it.

Talk to me.

Love you.

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..How do i begin to post on this board ?..when i tried postiing a new topic, it came up that i was,nt permitted to use it...i,ve registrad & everything..it sounds intresting this Inner child topic, i kinda feel i do have an inner child & shes crying out to be heard..

..But why won,t it let me post ?..many thanks for any help...

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Dear Young Me,

I wont say I know how to save you from suffering, because your pain is huge I cant make it go away. Its there. I am very sorry. I cant change that it happened. I only want you to know that you might consider staying, not checking out, it's more pleasant for you to forget, turn off, I know, but I will be here if you manage to stay... with the pain. It's better for you long term. There are people who do love you, they are here, I love you, you can always come to me.

Hear you again. I hope you are hearing my words. I know nobody cares for your pain, and I want you to know I do, and it was real. You dont deserve that pain, you didn nothing wrong, you didnt cause it. I am angry for you, it's not fair. AT ALL. Not F*cking fair. Bastards. I should kill them for you.

Stay with me. Love you.

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Dear Young me,

I am proud of you, you are strong, you are dealing great with this. I promise I will get you out of there. I know this all is new to you, you are used to blaming yourself, you are afraid to lose mom and dad, and sister, to see they are mean. It's hard to accept it, I know. It hurts. i will not let people hurt you anymore, I will not let you lose good people who are out there, because of bad bastards around you. Nobody can hurt you. NOBODY.

You deserve respect. It's not okay that someone tuches you, or forces anything on you. It was bad, and not your fault.

I will not give up until you are free.

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My inner children are smug because I didn't listen to them this morning. I'm wearing clothes that aren't the best at keeping me warm. They told me wear swishy (track/windbreaker) pants, and I didn't listen. So I apologize to them, and when I log off, I'm going to treat them to hot chocolate and cookies. I not only promished them they could wear the pants, I also ignored their warnings about cold weather.

So: thank you inner children for standing up to me. I know you were afraid to tell me I and mom were wrong, but you worked past you fear and told me how you felt/what you wanted. I'm sorry for not listening to you and will try not to ignore you like that again.

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dear 3 year old me;

when i do think of you, it's usually with hatred and disgust. i have mentally murdered you and inflicted brutal violence on you so many times. i have wished you were not a part of me. i have wished you were not a part of humanity. i have been your worst abuser. :( when i hurt you, i hurt myself.

thanks to aftersilence, and to deep contemplation, i really think i'm getting over my hatred for you! i'm so close. you don't deserve hatred, and i'm sorry.

i don't know if i can get over being disgusted with you, though. don't even know if i want to. don't feel like you/we deserve it. i'm sorry. is it good enough to not hate you? probably not.

Love,

big me.

Edited by annieonymous

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My lil me always wants hugs......and a lil patch of sun......or curled up on the bed mext to mom and dad reading a "good book".....but that is for another day.....like when I hit the road in the semi.....beginning this coming weekend when I hit the open road of the semi with hubby.....leaving "my Panther" all alone" in the lil house that we have......just take "gentle care" of "my big kitty."

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When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn :P ).

Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear. :)

I love you Little Emi. :hug:

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When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn :P ).

Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear. :)

I love you Little Emi. :hug:

this made me smile! :)

may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.

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When I was a child, I was a complete tomboy. I'm assuming this was because I figured it was easier to hide as a boy than to be a girl with my abuser around (but this can't be proven seeing as I don't have strong memories of my childhood as a whole). My inner child, on the other hand, is a beautiful little girl who is learning not to be afraid of being a beautiful little girl.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were texting and the conversation got quite silly, and I had said "Does this mean you are the unicorn I've always wanted?" Typically, I never have wanted one, not even a pony, so this was a very odd comment, which he took note of and asked me since when do I want a unicorn. I quickly realized that through all the joy in the conversation, she decided to join in and got really happy and couldn't hold back from sharing that with him (she loves him just as much as I do and considers the little boy in him her very best friend as I consider him mine as well as my lover). It was a very cute moment. She went on to explain, though erroneously that she wanted a flying unicorn like Pegasus (though he corrected her by letting her know Pegasus was not a unicorn :P ).

Afterwards I had to ask if that moment freaked him out in the least bit, and he answered not at all. In fact, he considered himself lucky because I somehow surprise him everyday, and that was his surprise for the day. I think both I and my little one are happy that he can accept us both and show us the care we both deserve. I'm happy she's able to express herself more openly now and without fear. :)

I love you Little Emi. :hug:

this made me smile! :)

may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.

Hee hee thank you rosa! :)

My little one would like to give yours some hugs and an invitation if she ever gets those unicorns to ride them. :hug:

Hope she feels better soon!

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this made me smile! :)

may you get all the flying unicorns you deserve.

Hee hee thank you rosa! :)

My little one would like to give yours some hugs and an invitation if she ever gets those unicorns to ride them. :hug:

Hope she feels better soon!

thank you! i can't wait to go for a ride!!! i love flying unicorns too!!! :lol:

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Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy

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Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy

Cindy, yours is definitely invited! I'm sure there's a unicorn for everyone who wants to ride one in here. I love your plan to see the rainbows! She's very excited to see them and to spend time with new friends. :hug:

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My little likes to color, is that ok?

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WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here! :flowers:

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It's ok to be scared.

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WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here! :flowers:

:up:

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I'm not sure about the inner child thing, it's not something my CBT doctor ever talked about but maybe the UK system isn't as open minded about that yet.

Anyway, today I had an argument with my husband because he accused me of lying (about something quite small) and was adamant that I was lying with no room for anything else. Not only that but he said that he was annoyed that he couldn't ask me something (where I may or may not lie...) without me flipping out if I was accused of lying... he said he should be able to ask me without me reacting like I do. Anyhow, that said, I tried to remain calm (despite seething inside about it knowing there was no way of vindicating myself) and I came upstairs to distract myself. I ended up sobbing so much I nearly made myself sick. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was so upset. I couldn't answer properly and just said that I felt like exploding but couldn't. He went out into town for something and I began the diary writing process which didn't go so well, managed a few lines but was sobbing too hard to carry on. Then I spiralled down into crazy thoughts of how to end it all. I returned to the screen to write some goodbye notes. My younger sister always comes first so I wrote the following:

'I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you. This may sound odd but when you told me what had happened to you, I was so relieved that I wasn’t imagining things. Imagining what had happened to me but also what was going on with you. I am so sorry I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t have believed me and I was afraid of it getting worse.'

That was as far as I got and it just hit me why the hell I was so upset and angry over my husband not believing me about something quite small. It also hit me that I am not over this and I never will be...hence I have joined this forum. I've never done anything like this before. I am 27yrs old and had cognitive behavioural therapy for a couple years which ended in 2007. I was abused by my dad throughout my childhood up until I was an adult and left home at 19. I have also had other things happen to me outside of home. (I swear I have a neon sign above my head that attracts these people).

So on that note, here I am and that's why I am here writing this. Maybe it was the inner child in me that was so angry with my husband over something that was not big enough to justify how I reacted. Who knows. But I now understand why I can't bare anyone calling me a liar - when I am not lying!!

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I'm not sure about the inner child thing, it's not something my CBT doctor ever talked about but maybe the UK system isn't as open minded about that yet.

Anyway, today I had an argument with my husband because he accused me of lying (about something quite small) and was adamant that I was lying with no room for anything else. Not only that but he said that he was annoyed that he couldn't ask me something (where I may or may not lie...) without me flipping out if I was accused of lying... he said he should be able to ask me without me reacting like I do. Anyhow, that said, I tried to remain calm (despite seething inside about it knowing there was no way of vindicating myself) and I came upstairs to distract myself. I ended up sobbing so much I nearly made myself sick. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was so upset. I couldn't answer properly and just said that I felt like exploding but couldn't. He went out into town for something and I began the diary writing process which didn't go so well, managed a few lines but was sobbing too hard to carry on. Then I spiralled down into crazy thoughts of how to end it all. I returned to the screen to write some goodbye notes. My younger sister always comes first so I wrote the following:

'I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world and I am so sorry I couldn’t protect you. This may sound odd but when you told me what had happened to you, I was so relieved that I wasn’t imagining things. Imagining what had happened to me but also what was going on with you. I am so sorry I couldn’t tell anyone. They wouldn’t have believed me and I was afraid of it getting worse.'

That was as far as I got and it just hit me why the hell I was so upset and angry over my husband not believing me about something quite small. It also hit me that I am not over this and I never will be...hence I have joined this forum. I've never done anything like this before. I am 27yrs old and had cognitive behavioural therapy for a couple years which ended in 2007. I was abused by my dad throughout my childhood up until I was an adult and left home at 19. I have also had other things happen to me outside of home. (I swear I have a neon sign above my head that attracts these people).

So on that note, here I am and that's why I am here writing this. Maybe it was the inner child in me that was so angry with my husband over something that was not big enough to justify how I reacted. Who knows. But I now understand why I can't bare anyone calling me a liar - when I am not lying!!

I'm glad you shared this. welcome to the forum. I hope you find all the support you need here. and welcome to your inner child too. :throb:

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Can mine come ride the unicorns to and. Ill show yours the rainbows and the Lucky fun bucket of golden twinkies at the end and we could laugh and play on the clouds and rainbows. Your unicorns sound so fun they make me smile. Hugs to all love cindy

Cindy, yours is definitely invited! I'm sure there's a unicorn for everyone who wants to ride one in here. I love your plan to see the rainbows! She's very excited to see them and to spend time with new friends. :hug:

that sounds fun! i'll show her the jellybean waterfall!!

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WOW! i m so glad i found this "thread". my little's are not rally ready for the "party" room. I will definately be back here! :flowers:

:up:

for sure! glad you're here! :up:

Edited by briarrosa

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Oh my Gosh! my littles are soooo excited. I have a bat (real flying kind) living in my basement walls. It's tough when they get so excited though, puts me in kinda a manic state. which oddly interferes with my home electronics. I think I'll take them bat hunting tonight :up: that will make them happy.

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