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The Inner Child Thread

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I asked her how she was. She is tired and wants to take a nap. And she can't sit still

We didn't sleep all night again :(

I promise to take better care of us. I can't keep us up all the time. I don't know how to fix it.

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To my inner child,

I thought I was reaching out to you. You turned your back...no surprise there. He's a very influential person, and I spoke out about it. Because of that, you lost your family, dysfunctional as it was. It was your security.

If you want to turn away from me, then fine. But don't just decide at the most inoppportune moments that you want to take control. You make me feel like I am crazy inside. I have today's burdens to bear. I cannot live not knowing when you will crop up. You make me easily intimidated by others. You make me cry at anything and everything. I can't do that anymore. Either come out and let it boil over, or turn your back forever. I cannot let you fester inside me, or lie dormant, never knowing when you will want to come out.

Edited by miabella

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my inner child just wants to be happy again! she is so sick and tired of being sad and living in fear all the time!! i feel the exact same way she doesnt right now! :(

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Stop yelling. Don't panic. Your T is coming back soon.

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i know you probably hate me right now baby but i am honestly trying my best to remain strong for you because i love you!

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Peanut--

You were very brave to share with the people you did. You are loved and cared about. You will never be abandoned again, and never have to worry if anyone is going to love you. You are precious, you are special, you are amazing. Just breathe...don't panic...you really are worth listening to and really worth healing. It wasn't your fault. You are not forgotten! :console::hug:

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she wants to cry. she has been going through a really hard time recently. she is trying to be strong.

dear inner child - i love you, my angel!!! :hug:

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To my inner child:

I am learning more about you and I like the process. You are very smart and cautious and sometimes I think you have protected me much better than I have protected you. Thank you for helping me to survive all those years. I hope together we can thrive in the future and really live life to the fullest. I love your creativity and I will devote more time to that. I love you....I always have.

:flowers:

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:hug: I love you so much and I am doing my best to make it right , please dont hate me :hug:

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Hello my dear Little Lexie,

I want to say sorry for forcing you to go away for a long time, truly I am sorry. Sarah told me about you, and whilst we still haven't met, I hope someday soon we can. I just wanted you to know that I have brought you some small gifts. They are wrapped up and I've left them on the desk. I don't want to bribe you, nor do I want to push you before you are ready, but I thought maybe you would like something to play with someday. So, they are there if you need them. I am sorry I have hurt you, and been so angry with you in the past. Truly sorry. I am going to try and keep you safe, I don't know if I will be able to, but I want to try.

With much love my Little Lexie,

Lex xx

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I hate, hate, despise you, you stupid fuckwit. I wish you didnt exist. Ever exsist.

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she is sad because i am bummed and she doesnt like to see me this way.

dear inner child: :hug: i love you baby! i am sorry that i have to put you through all my hard times in life. but, just remember that there were some good times too and they will return soon, i promise. i love you so much! :hug:

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Mine has been in a scary place because I was having heightened suicidal urges. When I sat down to talk with her she called me on them. She doesn't trust me. And I didn't come clean with her. I told her I keep screwing up taking care of her but I will keep trying. I should have told her I struggle with suicide, but it's in trying to protect us.

Now I have been paying attention to her again and she feels some better. I promised her I would make a list of everything she likes and we did that this weekend. And we are working on a coloring, and a drawing about our father. So now that we feel a little more safe we had a dream about the rape, and now today SUCKS.

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my inner child is recovering from me having a hard cry for about 15 minutes but we are both alright now.

babygirl: i am so sorry that i have to put you through all my hurt. just know that i will always love you! :hug:

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little KR;

You are so innocent, so bewildered; "why?" you ask.

"It is not your fault, nor do I know 'why,'" I answer.

You are strong, and you are smart, and you are fundamentally good, and you will survive, this will end. And when it does, I will come to you, and I will comfort you and protect you, and together we will heal, and we will have great adventures together, and we will do the good in the world that we are meant to do.

"I do not trust you," you counter.

"I cannot blame you," I reply.

"You have tried to kill us," you accuse, angry now.

"To protect us," I explain.

"You have gotten us into lots of trouble," you accuse.

"It will take me a while to learn how to care for us better," I explain.

"You have hated us," you persist.

"Yes, I have hated us," I acknowledge.

We are silent.

"Would you like to color?" I offer.

"I like the one of Piglet," you concede.

Our first coloring together comes out very well, and we are both pleased.

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my inner child wants me to just give into my self injury urge because she is sad and she doesnt want to feel sad anymore. however, i am refusing to do so which is kind of upsetting her more because she just wants to be happy so that i can be happy, too.

baby girl: i am not going to hurt myself. yes, i want to. yes, the urge is there. yes, i feel it too. but, i am not going to give in. i love you angel so much!

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We both have been jumpy and bummed most of today. Now we are scared, freaked out- what's hiding in the shadows??

So I am taking her to our safe place. A lovely beach, with soft sand and gentle sunshine. She has a little house there, wood with a thatch roof. Inside is a squishy bed, lilac walls, stuffed animals, crayons and paper... all kinds of fun stuff to play with. Outside, keeping watch, is a pride of mama lions- they are so strong and fast and love her very much. It feels so safe there, she can rest. She is tucked in now, under a fluffy blanket, with a yellow stuffed bunny.

I love you. Get some sleep.

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:hug: i love you so much, my angel baby! please dont give up on me just yet please!! i am trying the best i can, i promise! you mean the world to me, honestly you do!! i love you! :hug:

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:unsure: I'm sorry if I have been neglecting you, that will change I promise :hug:

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i am sorry that you are hurting! i know, it was a difficult week. but, hopefully, this week will be better. i love you, my angel baby!

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Hi Little One. I want you to know that I'm still here and I'm still watching over you. You are never alone. I'm so glad you're smiling. I wanted to give you a hug as I haven't done so in a while. :hug: You are safe with me, always safe. I love you...

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I'm sorry I keep ignoring you. I just don't know how to handle things yet. I'm sorry that I keep jumping in and out of treatment, I just rely on feelings way too much, and when I start feeling better I quit and then crash again. I'm sorry for making us see so many therapists and for jumping around so much these past three years. I promise tomorrow I will go make an intake appt and I will do my best to stick with therapy. I'm also going to color tomorrow, and John said he'd color with us! I'm very excited about that and I know you are too cause you've been bugging me for days to let you color. It will be fun. I love you

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