briarrosa

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About briarrosa

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    Survivor
  1. I felt the exact same way. I am glad you found us. Welcome. :hug:
  2. I agree.
  3. Setrain, I am so sorry that I never saw this thread again after I posted so long ago. I'm not sure if you have found more information about inner child stuff since then. I honestly don't know much about it from a technical standpoint. All of my own work has pretty much been done intuitively. I have just tried very hard to understand myself with a great deal of compassion for what I went through as a child, etc. I spent years in a disassociated state, not remembering what really happened to me. When I finally did remember, all my behaviors made so much more sense. It was such a sad and terrible day, but also relieving to know that I wasn't crazy. I had believed that there was something innately wrong, even poisonous, about me for a very long time, so to finally be able to have compassion for myself in this way was a huge relief. My inner child process has been a re-learning of myself, separate from other people's ideas of who I am and who I am expected to be. It has taken a long time for me to come to terms with all of that and what that means. I get frustrated with myself still sometimes, but I also try to see myself as I would see anyone else and to understand that put into such terrible circumstances, it is understandable, almost unavoidable, that I would react in those ways. By understanding and learning compassion for my inner child, I have freed my adult self from self harming behaviors and so much unnecessary pain, particularly by just believing in myself, being able to validate my truths for myself, and having a great deal of compassion for myself about what happened to me. If you'd like more information about any of this, I'd be happy to share anything I have learned. More safe hugs :hug:
  4. I was just wondering if any progress has been made on this topic? I still think it is a very important thread. I hope it can happen.
  5. This is a good thread and I am so glad this topic is being openly discussed. I agree that it is so important to separate the two issues: fear and discrimination. I think that the issue can be difficult for many people (in particular survivors) because not everyone can express their fears well or be self-aware enough about themselves and their relationship to others to distinguish their fears from prejudice. I think having AS as a forum to support survivors, but to also to educate them about the difference between fear and discrimination is a very important and positive thing. I really appreciate this comment. "Constructively" addressing these issues is really important to me as well. This is an open forum to ALL survivors and many here may not have had the opportunity to develop perspective or clarity on these issues yet. It is very important to enlighten ignorance, but keeping always in mind who is on this site. I feel that gentleness, of which all of us could use more of, is so important. In the broader spectrum of AS, perhaps another review of the wording in the guidelines might help, ie. some examples given of what discriminatory language looks like. I know it might seem unnecessary to many, but again there are people from all walks of life here. If AS is to be more than just a supportive place, but also a place to learn and grow about oneself, then it may be necessary to spell things out in a much more obvious way for some. Anyways, that's just my 2 cents. I'm glad this topic was started.
  6. Wonderful!! I'm so glad you figured it out!! I like your picture a lot!!
  7. If you type in "open source images - bamboo" for example into google images, you should probably be able to find something nice. open source means that anyone can use it. then all you have to do is right-click on it with your mouse. Hit "save as" - type in the name you want to call it, ie bamboo.jpg and save it onto your desktop. from there, you can go into your control panel and then hit "search" to find your file and it should be fairly straightforward on how to upload it onto your site. as mentioned, it's good to find smaller images. I'm not really sure how to make them smaller, so if you are having difficulty, you may have to just find a new picture or ask someone else to help with that. Hope that helps. good luck!
  8. If you type in "open source images - bamboo" for example into google images, you should probably be able to find something nice. open source means that anyone can use it. then all you have to do is right-click on it with your mouse. Hit "save as" - type in the name you want to call it, ie bamboo.jpg and save it onto your desktop. from there, you can go into your control panel and then hit "search" to find your file and it should be fairly straightforward on how to upload it onto your site. as mentioned, it's good to find smaller images. I'm not really sure how to make them smaller, so if you are having difficulty, you may have to just find a new picture or ask someone else to help with that. Hope that helps. good luck!
  9. Hope, I'm sorry nobody replied to this sooner. If you go into your control panel, labelled My Controls at the top of your page, you will see a list on the left hand side of the page. if you scroll down that list, you will see a topic that says Edit Avatar Settings (your avatar is your picture info). You can either choose one of the AS photos in the gallery there or upload a photo of your own. If you want to upload one of your own, then you will have to get a picture file (also so called a jpeg file or .jpg) onto your computer from somewhere and then upload that file onto your AS Avatar Settings. I hope that all makes sense! Feel free to pm me if you can't figure it out. Have fun!
  10. Thanks Karen. I'm looking forward to this thread.
  11. Since I have been on AS there have been a fair number of posts started about emotional/psychological/gaslighting abuse, but as happens with many posts here, they eventually get shuffled behind more current posts and get lost in the system. If possible, I would very much like to see a pinned thread about this in in the sexual assault forum. I know for me this has been an extremely damaging part of my history and it has been a very difficult part to heal from. Having a place to speak specifically about this topic would be very helpful. Are there others who agree and would like to see that as well?
  12. does anyone else ever get the feeling that it is not the inner child who is suffering, but the adult self? in some ways, for me, my inner child is doing great, it is the adult who needs more compassion from the child. kind of a weird thought, but one that is making sense right now for me. so, that being said, my message to my inner child is this. Please be gentle with me, your adult self. I have a lot of responsibilities on my plate every day and I really need support, willingness, cooperation and help with keeping it all together. I will help you if you help me. together we will find a good path, but it cannot just be all about you all the time. sometimes my adult needs also have to get attention. there must be a sense of acceptance from you about this or we will never get anywhere constructive together. please be kind and gentle with me. It is very important that we are on the same page together.
  13. dear little me, thanks for being here with me through so much. and thank you for being as strong as you could be during this past month. it has been a tough transition and yet we have made it through together. even though we broke one thing, it is not the end of the world. it is fixable. i am proud of both of us for getting through a very tough time together and for not losing our goals in the process. i think we have a bright future ahead of us and i am hoping we can both enjoy our new life together. let's have some fun today!! i love you so much little one and i am so grateful you are in my life. you make it all worthwhile. :throb: :throb:
  14. Great news!! I am so happy for you!!!