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Found 10 results

  1. Hello. How are you? It's been a while, I know. In some ways, that's a good thing though, right? It means I haven't had any bad thoughts or sexual ones, to be specific. And by thoughts, I mean being triggered and depressed in my room. Although, I'm not home right now, I'm in WI. My home is in NC. Quite a bit away, but I'll be going home tomorrow. So, it's okay. I'm just chilling with family here in WI, nothing bad. Well, there has been some bad things. I keep having nightmares. Every day, but two. I've been here since July 20th. Only two days, did I have no nightm
  2. Celia

    First Abuse

    Where do I even start? More of a... oh boy... can I do this, or even start talking about it? Uhm, okay, I'm doing this... I guess. Wish me luck!! 😬 When I was 7 years old, I lived in Texas (TX, USA) with my family (mother, her bf, sister, and soon-to-be born brother - son of her bf). Referenced name for all of them: Mother - mom Sister - PJ Mom's Ex-husband (bf at the time in TX) - G Brother - I won't be talking about him at all, so I'll leave his name out. In TX, we all (my family) lived in a townhouse. You'd walk in and immediately
  3. Celia

    Naive

    Friends, family, Maybe a bf for me. Anyone I like or am close to, I'm naive and can't breathe. When they ask me to do something, I do it without thought. Whatever makes them happy, Is all that really counts. Pic, or a selfie, Maybe audio or a snap. Everytime I try to say no, To them, it's a bunch of crap. They say they aren't unhappy, When I say no to them. Yet, the look on their face, Shows their patience cutting thin. And just as I am, Naive and not smart. I say yes to ever
  4. Fucking pissed, Losing my mind. I'm definitely gonna cut, It's happening tonight. Gonna cut and bleed, Just as I cry. Tearline, bloodline, Watch it all drip away. Feel the pain, Feel the burn. This is real, And it hurts. I don't care, Cut away. The pain is bad, Drives me to cut deeper. No regret, I'm fucking done. Cut so deep, I can't remember. Is there a vein? One or two. Maybe three, I don't care, If I cut, say I never knew.
  5. It's official, She's gone away. Blocked my account, Can't see my name. She left the doc, Both of them. Can't see her pic, Cause she's gone for good. Lost all her friends, She blocked them too. Even my close friend, Now she's fucking confused. Texting me like crazy, I'm going out of my mind. Blaming me for what happened, But said she's on my side? Said it's alright, She said it's all fine. "You did the right thing, I'm by your side." But she doesn't text me for
  6. This one isn't a poem today, unfortunately. I think it'd make things easier for me if it was, heh. Although, today, I'm just going to talk about something. More of a "someone." This "someone" is my mother's bf. I'll say, "Mark." Now, technically, I wouldn't consider Mark much of my mom's bf. More of less, six years ago when I was 12 years old, my family needed to move out immediately and so she found Mark online who was looking for a roommate. Well, he came with a few cons. More like, a bunch. He has a 9 year old daughter that lived with us. I'll call her, "A" as I'll definitely be
  7. My head, The pain. My chest, The strain. My eyes, The game. My thoughts, The drain. There, What's that sound? Here, I wanna drown. Thoughts, Just wanna play. Games, Gonna stay. Memories, Through the day. Punishment, You must pay. Words, They're gonna say. Things, Once made. Sounds, Not to fade. School, Lots of grades. Home, Chaotic parade.
  8. The picture above, Is made from someone I know. She was an artist and a singer, She had a very special glow. Me not cutting for a long time, Was all thanks to her. She helped me through so much, And I promised to be with her forever. I swore to be by her side, I swore it'll all be alright. Look at the disappointment that lies, I'm the cause of all those ties. Now she's gone, My dearest friend. Was a sister in my heart, Now she's probably dead. All my fault, That's all I know.
  9. I've done some things, Hard to explain. All the complications, All the frustrations. I was in the right, I did the right thing. But my head is stubborn, Not very accepting. Now all the confusion, My head is hurting. I want to cut and cry, But I can't do any harming. I'm stuck on these words, Of all the people around me. Different opinions, I don't know what to think now. Getting me stuck, Even more confused. I can't break the promise, Or another friend, I will los
  10. He asked me to hang out. I asked when. He texted back that we could hang out after school on Friday. He would drive us to his house. Made it a point to tell me that no one would be home. I guess part of me knew what he was implying but I chose to ignore it. It had been months sense he had raped me and things seemed to be pretty smooth sailing. He was okay when I said no. he didn’t get upset when I pushed his hands away from me when he tried. He seemed like he truly understood that he hurt me that day 3 months ago. As the day came closer he asked if we could have sex. I told him no and that I w
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