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Survive4

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He asked me to hang out. I asked when. He texted back that we could hang out after school on Friday. He would drive us to his house. Made it a point to tell me that no one would be home. I guess part of me knew what he was implying but I chose to ignore it. It had been months sense he had raped me and things seemed to be pretty smooth sailing. He was okay when I said no. he didn’t get upset when I pushed his hands away from me when he tried. He seemed like he truly understood that he hurt me that day 3 months ago. As the day came closer he asked if we could have sex. I told him no and that I was on my period. He told me that he didn’t care and that he was being patient with me so I should let him have sex with me. I again said no. he said fine. I thought that was the end of it.

                Friday came and when I got dressed I made sure to wear layers. I wore a nude colored bra with a white cami, a teal and black tunic off the shoulders sweater with black underwear, blue jeans and black sneakers. I looked cute but was hopeful that he would get bored if he tried to get it off me. School raced by even though I didn’t really want it to and he met me by the front doors. We walked to his gold dodge caravan and got in. drove the short distance to his house and went upstairs to his bedroom. His sheets were black. The walls were white. And the carpet was beige. We talked about classes. Where he was going for college, if he was excited. You know the normal couple stuff. He started kissing me and I went along with it. He tried to get me to touch him but I didn’t. he rolled on to his back and asked me when I became such a prude. Told me he could get more action somewhere else.

                I didn’t know who this guy in front of me was. He took off his shirt and started kissing me again. He tried to take my shirt off and I told him no. he told me yes. I told him I was on my period. He said he didn’t care. I told him I didn’t want to. He begged until I finally said sure whatever and let him go. My pants and underwear were off and my tampon was out. My phone buzzed and I responded to the text. He asked me if I was serious we were busy. I let him finish. He told me it was like fucking a rag doll. I got up to put my pants on and he laughed because I had sex hair. I turned and told him to take me home. He told me to stop being so sensitive. I told him again to take me home I didn’t want to be there anymore. I got home threw my bag in my room and jumped in the shower. The water was as hot as it could go trying to burn him off of me and once again I sat in the tub under the shower stream crying. The boy I had now been dating for a year and four months had raped me twice and begun verbally abusing me. Was this what our relationship was going to look like now? I was screwed. I needed to escape. 

 

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