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Len523

M. Member
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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Finally see a therapist on Thursday after they rescheduled me twice. I know the resource is free but I'm kinda scared given how rude and unprofessional the front office staff has been so far. It almost made me not want to go through with going back to therapy but I know I haven't been doing well since my last therapist left.

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I'm sorry the front office was rude, but curious as how it went? 

      I hope that meeting the T was a much better experience. 

    2. Len523

      Len523

      So far it has been very positive, so I think its just the front office that sucks. She's a lot more down-to-business than my previous therapist but she's really nice and seems almost excited to psychoanalyze me (which I find oddly flattering).

  2. Made it back from the not-great weekend but too exhausted to vent about what happened. Any sitters would be very much appreciated while I try to sort through my thoughts. 

    1. snmls

      snmls

      Happy to sit with you. 

    2. Len523

      Len523

      Thank you 💕

  3. My mom is letting a certain source of trauma rent the space they renovated downstairs, and now I have to go home for the weekend to set up for/host a babyshower. 
    This is gonna be a rough few days 

    1. WannaMoveOn

      WannaMoveOn

      Gosh I am sorry. 

  4. I made a friend at group therapy and we're going to hang out again today!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. snmls

      snmls

      That's really nice!

    3. Doll6

      Doll6

      That’s great To hear 

    4. leaff

      leaff

      Congrats, have fun!

  5. Next week is my last session with my T, I got my cyst drained today, and my brother had another meltdown. Today has been rough, but I'm somehow still managing.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      I'm sorry that you're struggling with a lot right now, Len...and how do you feel about ending sessions with your T? Will you be searching for another T? Or can you start back up with them if you need more sessions? I hope you're healing after having your cyst drained. Take it easy. ❤️ 

    2. Len523

      Len523

      I'm currently searching for another T because mine will be leaving and I'll be unable to continue with her. Its definitely been rough and I'm not entirely sure how I'll handle starting over since the past 2 years have been pretty bad and she's helped me through a lot of it. On the bright side my wrist is doing a bit better after I had the cyst drained, so hopefully it doesn't come back

  6. My birthday is coming up and it's another traumaversary as well as close to the anniversary of a death (both from 2020 so very recent). I'm determined to celebrate it but I'm already not feeling too good

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you and sending lots of care, comfort, and support, Len. ❤️ I hope you'll be able to celebrate your birthday a little bit. Best wishes.

    2. Len523

      Len523

      Thank you 💕I'm already emotionally exhausted the closer it gets to the day but my family is already helping prepare to celebrate so hopefully I can overcome the feeling

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sending positive vibes. It's never fair that we can identify what should be good and happy days with trauma or even grief of a loved one. Hoping you are able to focus on the good and I'm glad your family is helping. 

      No truer words will I speak today...I hope you have a happy birthday, Len. I really do. :hug:  

  7. I finally signed up for a support group that I've been looking at since January

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      That's great!! Congrats! I hope it goes well. :) 

  8. Had a really bad and vivid nightmare last night, entirely unprompted. This is exhausting.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      I'm sorry about the awful nightmare. :( I hope tonight will be better.

    2. Len523

      Len523

      I hope so as well, I'm not sure what triggered it because I actually had a great day beforehand. I was finally out of a depressive pit and the dream threw me right back in

  9. I have a gay bamboo! (A bamboo but I decorated its terrarium with rainbows)

  10. I finally talked to my T about my ex on Friday, and I spent the weekend with an old friend so I was able to feel okay about it

    1. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Ah nice one @Len523 Glad that talking things through helped and old friends are always a good distraction 💛 

    2. Len523

      Len523

      Thank you! 💕💕 Its harder since I'm back home alone now but I'm at least glad I could tell my T so we can start there next time 

  11. I agree that there should be a discord, and I also haven't really dealt with trolls on there but I know it's possible for it to happen. I think its worth a try, and maybe starting off with a semi-private discord might help (not able to be searched but the link is shared here)
  12. My ex messaged me after about a year and a half, and I have no clue what to say to him. He's asking to be friends again and of course its a hell no because of everything he did but I don't want to sound rude because his message is phrased in a polite way. I still haven't even talked to my therapist about him (we were ironically going to bring it up this week)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      I agree with Mary...you don't owe him anything, not even a reply. You know your answer, so it might be for the best to just delete the message and pretend it never happened. Block his number if needed, too. I'm glad you're going to talk to your T about him and what to do. Best wishes to you. ❤️ 

    3. Len523

      Len523

      Thank you both ❤️ 

      I've been sitting here for the past two-ish hours stressing out about it but I'm glad I haven't sent anything because I think not responding is in my best interest here. I feel a little less panicked than I was before thankfully so I'll delete it and try to ignore. I have him blocked everywhere except discord (because of a mutual friend group chat and a volunteer group chat) and apparently he tried messaging on those platforms before trying this one..

    4. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I'm glad you decided to delete it. This is your best interest and that should override everything else. Hopefully it helps you destress about it. Since you can't block him on discord, just ignore him as much as you can. :throb: 

       

  13. I've been having a flare-up of memories from something I haven't thought about in a while but I see my T bi-weekly and the other day we didn't get around to that topic because of other issues. I might try to start a blog or something just so I can get the words out since I'm already on here often, but I'm not sure where to start with what I want to say

    1. sk8er

      sk8er

      I had a similar experience. Sometimes an hour In T can cover lots of topics, sometimes It can't. Interestingly enough, I feel like I do the most work outside of therapy and that's cool too. I also love that you thought of a blog because writing things down makes everything In your mind a little more "understandable"? If that makes sense...If you like, you can check out my blog for Ideas to get you started (only If you feel like It). Anyways, good luck!

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Perhaps start by throwing some words on a WORD document or scribbling notes on a piece of paper. The good thing about wherever you do start...nobody here will judge. Most of us get it, too. I think we've all had too many emotions, not enough writing clarity. It can be a relief tho, just to get some of it out.

      Wishing you luck with this. :throb: 

  14. I was able to get through my traumaversary but I got sick and only got like 4 hours of sleep last night. The sick ick is a little better than the trauma ick though so I think that's a win

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      I'm glad you were able to get through your traumaversary. ❤️ That's a big accomplishment! I'm so sorry though about getting sick and not sleeping well. I hope you feel better.

    2. Len523

      Len523

      Thank you so much! I'm hoping to get some sleep tonight since resting might help. I have my 2 year old niece to thank for the cold...

  15. We have another speaker in class but she gave a trigger warning and gave everyone permission to step out or tune her out if needed. She also came bearing gifts 😌

    1. Len523

      Len523

      I listened to music and drew the whole time, and I'm so glad because the topic was on the exact thing my brain was already spiraling about the other day

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      It's nice she was upfront and gave you that option. Glad you recognized music and drawing was your way to self-care during the lecture. And gifts? Nice.  :)  

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