sk8er

I've noticed I come here to vent most of the time, to speak the things I can't say out loud on a daily basis. Sure, I get some of It out on therapy but I can't go that often because of my income, so I end up coming back here. It's not necesarily a bad thing, but I'm wondering If I can talk about other things? maybe keep things light once In a while. That might be a good change.

So I got tested positive for covid a week ago--( I don't have It anymore though) and things have been really difficult for me. For context I was already feeling like I was In some sort of "lockdown" because I'd just quit my job plus my summer vacations had started, so all I've done Is stay at home. I kinda forget every now and then, that when I lose a routine I get severely depressed. (Like yes I'm already deressed, but It comes In a bigger wave when I stop going out). It's generally hard for me to go out If I don't have an event or obligation to go to, In fact I WONT go out, UNLESS

At home I don't feel at one. Let's be fair, I never will If I haven't by now, but should I keep putting out fires? I think I've reached a point where I don't know wether to choose to put out another fire or start to build myself a life, even if It's a slow one. If I choose my dreams, It'll be slow and I'll still have to put up with poor living, doubting everyday If I can stand It anymore, not knowing If I'll eventually lose my mind because of It. If I choose a home, I'll never have to put up with bad living situations from others, and If I do It'll at least be up to me to change

Very true

Oh noo, that car ride must've been awful, I can only Imagine trying to be In control of a situation and them still finding a way to put you on edge (purposefully or not, It's still a dreadful experience). Im sorry this happened to you, truly. Setting bounderies when they're so close to you Is a big challenge too...I've tried It and In the end realized I still needed my distance and time alone. Hope you're taking care and things work out for the better ⭐

Exactly! you never know, maybe there's no need to know. Of course!⭐

Wow this quote. "I feel like what happened has made it impossible to be the person I was supposed to be. It’s also made it impossible to not be the person I am now." So, so real. I've felt a similar way where It feels like maybe, I was supposed to be a different person than I am now If none of those things would've happened to me. And maybe It's true, inevitebly those things will shape you somehow, will change you. I like to believe that this version of myself Is trying just as hard as the others would (?? odd statement there haha) but I hope It still makes sense. But yes, me t

Still awkward! lol but, much better now. the divorce is happening tomorrow, which happens to be my birthday too Im happy about my birthday but uncomfortable about the whole situation. Thanks for asking ❤️

Definitely, lol

Did I ever tell you It was okay to be as loud as you wanted? be as much as you wanted? Imagine being alone In an empty room with some eco In it...knowing you, you'd probably start singing a little tune to hear how It sounds. Eco's are an interesting sound, right? so why wouldn't you try It out, and If you're alone you could do It as much as you wanted to, as much as you needed to. No one would tell you to stop or say that you were being too loud, too much. There's nothing inherently wrong with It you know? some people just don't like big sounds. You see, birds don't apologize for sin

We don't know yet, things are kinda slow lately. I think the legal stuff Is gonna take a few months unfortunetly 😕 She's still living with us and It's kind of awkward lol

Hi, sorry to hear that you went through something similar too. I'm just glad the thing he signed Is gonna be undone pretty soon. Apparently she's been divorced quite a few times as well, I'm sure she knew exactly what she was doing. Actions speak louder.

My dad and my stepmom are getting a divorce. Those are the news at my home, or...well It's not my home, and you'll know why In a second. For context, just a few weeks before my stepmom asked my dad for a divorce, she wanted to claim the house as her own, In case anything would happen to my dad (which I understand because my dad shouldn't be working at his age and has had a lot of problems regarding economic safety as well as his own personal health). He' s 75 years old, just so you get the picture. I can't possibly understand what It's like to keep working at his age, supporting everyone

it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I've wanted to though, but mostly I haven't had time or been too exhausted to write. Yeah...even writing was exhausting. I gotta be honest, It's not much different from how I'm writing right now because I still feel drained almost everyday. But If I stop writing It'll make It worse. Writing has always been a good way to cope with things, at least to me. I like to think of this place as a space for to readers to exist together. It's me and you and whatever crazy thing I'm writing about haha. And maybe, It becomes a little bit les

I'm so sorry for this...I sort of understand the feeling of looking at old photos and having a bittersweet memory. Of course, you were too young to remember, too young to understand, to young to even write ...It makes me so angry that at this level of vulnerability, no adults could give you any sort of safety or support system, and In fact, did the opposite...I'm so saddened and disappointed In the people who should've taken care of you at such young age. I wish I could write something that makes you feel better, or some advice or anything. I just can't, I can't. All I know Is that t