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    Drawing, writing, dancing, singing. Basically, I'll do anything artistic. It's how I cope.

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  1. Hi y'all. Before I begin, I just wanted to give a little clarification from Part 1 of what It was like growing up with scientology. In the last two (or one I think) paragraphs I mentioned how some aspects of scientology weren't too different from other religions, and though I am able to see similarities, I truly only mean the first bit of scientology that I was introduced, where It was actually kind of chill and not at all weird, but In no way do I mean that any religion could even compare to the horrible stuff that I lived through In there. I just wanted to say that because I think when
  2. Here I go again, trying to get all the story out there and hoping maybe this time I'll be able to finish It. I feel like I want people to know this, regardless of what they think, just to have some sort of record that this actually happened, It was real, I was real and all of the pain that came with It. My mom was the first one to be interested In It, she was at a very lost point In her life during her mid-twenties (at least that's what she told me) until she found these books that resonated deeply with her, they were written by lafayette ronald hubbard (yes, I know the name by heart
  3. bbme: I think so! at least that's how I feel. I like playing my part, I mean I know I'm not the only one here, but Isn't It fun to play the hero? to be the plot of the movie?. It's like I'm a part of something big, like I'm special, do you think I'm special? It's certainly a nice feeling. Who knows, sooner or later the FBI will contact us for a big mission and we have to be there ASAP!!! we just have to be ready....If there's an emergency In the world I would gather all my friends and then the government (or whatever) would give us superpowers, we would join forces to defeat evil. I mean, I gu
  4. @Friendlylife It does help...thank you for taking the time to read ❤️
  5. bby me: okay, Is there something wrong?...are you mad at me? Old me: Not at all, I'm never mad at you, I will always love you no matter what, I just wanna know how you're doing...I know sitting down can make you nervous because you relate It to being punished but I promise you that you're okay, you're safe. bby me: Okay. Well, I've felt lonely lately, sort of like everthing's empty. I miss my old room, my toys, my friends, It feels like there's nothing. Do you know If...It gets better? like, this feeling?. I know you'll always have my back but I don't always want you to be the only o
  6. @Jason92 Dont worry about It, the tears will come when they need to come
  7. bby me: "Hi. Yes I think I did, but this time I wasn't holding It back like I always do. Tears are meant to be shown, I am supposed to cry when I'm supposed to cry. I think that's why It's been so long since you cried big sis...because when you had the opportunity you'd never let It happen. I know how you feel, I felt embarrassed too, to cry In front of everyone...believe It or not there's so much shame In crying for women as well...everyone really... When people cry they say "I'm sorry", that's why you say It remember? and you never question why either, It's like you want to be 'polite'
  8. Little me: "I don't like when people talk down to me, petty me, feel sorry for me. My dad always lets me win and then denies It...my brother has done that a few times too. It makes me feel like I'm not smart enough, like I can't do things by myself. Yes, losing can be upsetting, but I like losing better than people feeling like I need to be pushed. Older me Is working a new job and It's really hard on her, sometimes It wears her out completely, I don't know how she got there, I would be so scared...I think deep down she's scared too. Scared of people, of failing, of 'jinxing' things. But
  9. Hey everyone, I thought I'd let you know what this blogging Is all about. I thought I'd start a little journey between me and my little self. I know she has a lot to give, a lot to offer and I wanna hear her out... Some posts I might be stritcly talking personally with my Inner child, other times she might do the talking, who knows (like maybe my child-self had fun one day because she got to jump In a trampoline and wants to share that experience). I do wanna state however that, her and I are not two different people, we're part of a whole, this Is just an exercise that I find helps me he
  10. I resonated so much with feeling protected by the moon as well as how it follows you around through the night, it was comforting
  11. This sounds so horrible, I'm so so sorry. Nightmares for me can be incredibly real sometimes too, there are times when they affect me so much that i still remember them to this day. Thank you for sharing, this made me feel like someone resonated with me, i have nightmares every day now since what happened to me, i wake up in the middle of the night sweating and sometimes screaming...it's so exhausting. But, I'm glad you're here.
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