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    Drawing, writing, dancing, singing. Basically, I'll do anything artistic. It's how I cope.

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  1. it's been a long time since I've written anything here. I've wanted to though, but mostly I haven't had time or been too exhausted to write. Yeah...even writing was exhausting. I gotta be honest, It's not much different from how I'm writing right now because I still feel drained almost everyday. But If I stop writing It'll make It worse. Writing has always been a good way to cope with things, at least to me. I like to think of this place as a space for to readers to exist together. It's me and you and whatever crazy thing I'm writing about haha. And maybe, It becomes a little bit les
  2. I'm so sorry for this...I sort of understand the feeling of looking at old photos and having a bittersweet memory. Of course, you were too young to remember, too young to understand, to young to even write ...It makes me so angry that at this level of vulnerability, no adults could give you any sort of safety or support system, and In fact, did the opposite...I'm so saddened and disappointed In the people who should've taken care of you at such young age. I wish I could write something that makes you feel better, or some advice or anything. I just can't, I can't. All I know Is that t
  3. (I use the Older Version of me as OV, and the Younger Version of me as YV to avoid confusion) YV: I wish we were safe. I feel like you run around when things happen at the house and It makes me feel scared, like I don't know what's gonna happen next... OV: I know, I wish we had a better place to stay too...our own place, but for the moment we just have to keep moving, we have no choice.... YV: But why don't you slow down? why can't you see that I can't run as fast as you do and I'm scared because I don't know when you're gonna stop. I promise I'll get better at running but I can
  4. bbme: I think so! at least that's how I feel. I like playing my part, I mean I know I'm not the only one here, but Isn't It fun to play the hero? to be the plot of the movie?. It's like I'm a part of something big, like I'm special, do you think I'm special? It's certainly a nice feeling. Who knows, sooner or later the FBI will contact us for a big mission and we have to be there ASAP!!! we just have to be ready....If there's an emergency In the world I would gather all my friends and then the government (or whatever) would give us superpowers, we would join forces to defeat evil. I mean, I gu
  5. @Friendlylife It does help...thank you for taking the time to read
  6. bby me: okay, Is there something wrong?...are you mad at me? Old me: Not at all, I'm never mad at you, I will always love you no matter what, I just wanna know how you're doing...I know sitting down can make you nervous because you relate It to being punished but I promise you that you're okay, you're safe. bby me: Okay. Well, I've felt lonely lately, sort of like everthing's empty. I miss my old room, my toys, my friends, It feels like there's nothing. Do you know If...It gets better? like, this feeling?. I know you'll always have my back but I don't always want you to be the only o
  7. @Jason92 Dont worry about It, the tears will come when they need to come
  8. bby me: "Hi. Yes I think I did, but this time I wasn't holding It back like I always do. Tears are meant to be shown, I am supposed to cry when I'm supposed to cry. I think that's why It's been so long since you cried big sis...because when you had the opportunity you'd never let It happen. I know how you feel, I felt embarrassed too, to cry In front of everyone...believe It or not there's so much shame In crying for women as well...everyone really... When people cry they say "I'm sorry", that's why you say It remember? and you never question why either, It's like you want to be 'polite'
  9. Little me: "I don't like when people talk down to me, petty me, feel sorry for me. My dad always lets me win and then denies It...my brother has done that a few times too. It makes me feel like I'm not smart enough, like I can't do things by myself. Yes, losing can be upsetting, but I like losing better than people feeling like I need to be pushed. Older me Is working a new job and It's really hard on her, sometimes It wears her out completely, I don't know how she got there, I would be so scared...I think deep down she's scared too. Scared of people, of failing, of 'jinxing' things. But
  10. Hey everyone, I thought I'd let you know what this blogging Is all about. I thought I'd start a little journey between me and my little self. I know she has a lot to give, a lot to offer and I wanna hear her out... Some posts I might be stritcly talking personally with my Inner child, other times she might do the talking, who knows (like maybe my child-self had fun one day because she got to jump In a trampoline and wants to share that experience). I do wanna state however that, her and I are not two different people, we're part of a whole, this Is just an exercise that I find helps me he
  11. I resonated so much with feeling protected by the moon as well as how it follows you around through the night, it was comforting
  12. This sounds so horrible, I'm so so sorry. Nightmares for me can be incredibly real sometimes too, there are times when they affect me so much that i still remember them to this day. Thank you for sharing, this made me feel like someone resonated with me, i have nightmares every day now since what happened to me, i wake up in the middle of the night sweating and sometimes screaming...it's so exhausting. But, I'm glad you're here.
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