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cussypat

By cussypat,
in Public: Welcome!

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cussypat

cussypat

Posted
Posted

Hello everyone.

This is my first post and I'm not too sure what to write... I'm a bit afraid that I'm wasting people's time here because I'm having a hard time believeing I was actually raped. It's a long story and I'm afraid everyone here will hate me if I tell it honestly. I didn't say I wanted it or anything at the time (and I didn't want it... at all) but I didn't say no either. I just lay there and let it happen to me without even trying to get away. It was a long time ago and I just blocked it out until a couple of weeks ago and then it came out as if from nowhere. So I'm a bit confused and wish I could just block it out again but I can't.

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littleseahorse

littleseahorse

Posted
Posted
Hello everyone.

This is my first post and I'm not too sure what to write... I'm a bit afraid that I'm wasting people's time here because I'm having a hard time believeing I was actually raped. It's a long story and I'm afraid everyone here will hate me if I tell it honestly. I didn't say I wanted it or anything at the time (and I didn't want it... at all) but I didn't say no either. I just lay there and let it happen to me without even trying to get away. It was a long time ago and I just blocked it out until a couple of weeks ago and then it came out as if from nowhere. So I'm a bit confused and wish I could just block it out again but I can't.

Welcome Cat, AS is the safest place to be and NO-ONE is going to judge or hate you here! please believe that, what happened to you is wrong, whether you fight against it, or not, whether its last night, last week or many years ago, it doesnt matter, a crime was committed against you, its not your fault, but honey for so many of us, we still seem to feel guilty, thats why being here is so good, we all know the horror you're feeling, and we care..best wishes LSH

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-Nicole-

-Nicole-

Posted
Posted

Welcome to After Silence :flowers:

You are certainly not alone in doubting yourself, in fact I see it quite a bit here. Whatever you are feeling, I am sure you are not alone and I am sure someone else has felt the same way. Keep posting, no one will judge you here.

Nicole :throb:

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sadeyes22

sadeyes22

Posted
Posted

:aswelcomesu::notalone::supportu::youcanheal::aswelcomesu:

Hi Welcome to AS :flowers: I hope you find what you are looking for here. This is a wonderful place for support. I look forward to seeing you around the boards. Take care

:hug::hug:

Sad

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ladyscorpiana

ladyscorpiana

Posted
Posted

Welcome, Cat. You can say anything you want here..and will not be blamed..and know that you will be believed. This is a great place for suppport. :aswelcomesu:

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Firedancer4

Firedancer4

Posted
Posted

I agree that no one here will judge you or hate you! We're here to listen and support you no matter what's happened. I think you'll find there are so many people here who just genuinely care and understand and want to help. I'm glad you found AS and hope you find the support and encouragement here that you need. :aswelcomesu:

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Wyndsong

Wyndsong

Posted
Posted

There are many different ways to be assaulted and many different ways to heal. It is sometimes hard to tell what crosses the line, but the truth is that if you didn't want it, it was rape, no matter how hard or how little you fought. You did not consent, and that makes it rape. :hug:

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  • 2 weeks later...
cussypat

cussypat

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks everyone. The kittie in the picture is Minnie, one of my rescues. They keep me going (cats and dogs). I'd be lost without them.

I keep feeling that I am wasting everyone'es time. Hre, my counsellor (just started this week), my boyfriend and friends who are all really supportive.... Like I should justget a grip on myself and move on. But i can't seem to do anything except clean the house. I just wish it had never happened and want it all to go away and be able to forget all about it and just go back to being normal :-(

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punksoab

punksoab

Posted
Posted

Normality is what you make of it. Rape isn't an uncommon crime and if you let it conquer you you won't be "normal". Let's start with this much. Rape is an experience that puts people into recessive or submissive positions. The important thing is that you rise above it, find something to take your mind of it, and keep it from being repressed. If it becomes repressed it will come out eventually and probably in the form of a mental breakdown. Now in all honesty, you aren't wasting anybody's time partly because you are human and also because you are a human in need of assistance.

If you want to get over with it what I would recommend is getting friends to talk about it with you, slowly bring yourself up from what happened and if you can in the future attempt to prosecute the guy.

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