Firedancer4

You have every right to be angry. I can sure relate. I've had my moments of - "what do you mean I'm a survivor when I feel so dead inside!?" I want to thrive. I think all of us here do, and that's one reason we keep going. As you keep pushing forward, you DO start to heal, and you start to feel change. You start to feel stronger. I'm so very glad you're here, and hope you find the support and encouragement you need to start this journey.

I agree that no one here will judge you or hate you! We're here to listen and support you no matter what's happened. I think you'll find there are so many people here who just genuinely care and understand and want to help. I'm glad you found AS and hope you find the support and encouragement here that you need.

(((nursebleu))) I am 36 and soooooo relate to everything you just said! I'm so sorry you're experiencing that right now. It's very normal though, as D said, and it can be downright scary. You articulated so well what it's like - I sat here nodding my head through every word. Hang in there, and keep talking. You've had some deep wounds open up, and when it first happened to me, it was exactly as you described. I'm so glad you're here, and hope you find the trust and support you need as you move through this. PM me anytime, too. Take care of you!

Welcome back! I'm sorry you've had some tough times lately, but sometimes you need to back away from certain things to take care of yourself, and you did just that. Hope things start looking up soon. Glad you came back to us.

Well, Kevin, your T is wise and so are you! Kevin's right, Amelia - you deserve to be well and I probably would have had an emotional breakdown if all that happened to me. You're such a survivor!!! I'm glad you're back, and hope you start feeling better very soon.

Remembering is so hard!!! I'm glad you're here and hope you find the support you need as you heal. Thank you for sharing where you're at - it sounds like you're going through an awful lot. I'm glad your husband is supportive, and that you have friends who will come when you need them. That's so invaluable. I hope you find encouragement and support here as well. Welcome to AS.

I was terrified when I first came here because I'd never really talked about my abuse and didn't know how I would be received or how I'd fit in. I hope you'll find what I did - tons of acceptance and support and a place to call home while I heal. I've never been around others who understand what I'm going through. That kind of understanding is priceless. Welcome to AS!!!

Welcome to AS, Tibby. You are most definitely NOT alone! It's a long and difficult process to heal, and though I wouldn't say I've achieved "wholeness" yet, I'm giving it all I got to get there. I'm still broken in so many places. Glad to have you on board.

Welcome to AS!!! Please just be who you are and don't worry about sounding just right when you post. We're all about healing here and supporting each other. It's a place that you will hopefully find safe and helpful as you heal. I hope you find the encouragement and support you need and deserve. Welcome!!!

I missed saying hello - so I'm saying it now! WELCOME! I hope you find healing and encouragement here like I have. I knew the first day that this is where I belonged, and it sounds like you feel the same thing. I'm glad you've joined and I'm sure I'll see you around. Take care of you.

Welcome back, heathbar.

Welcome to AS! I'm glad you're here and hope you find strength and healing here like many of us have. Share anytime. We're here to support you.

Welcome to AS!! I hope you find the support here you're looking for. Firedancer

Welcome to AS, hon. It's hard to answer, "Yes, those are signs," but it's clear you've had some things happen to you that shouldn't have happened, and were not your fault. I also understand some of what you shared with re: to sex and feeling numb and sick after it. I know it's confusing. I'm glad you're here. It's a great place for support and understanding and acceptance. I hope you find what you're looking for, and I hope you'll let us support you as you heal. Take care of you.

Welcome to AS!! You dont' need to say anything until you're ready to. And when you are, we'll be here listening. Take care of you. Glad you're here, too.