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new and nervous


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hopefully this isn't too much info, i just needed to get it off my chest.

hi everyone, i'm new here and super nervous about this. when i was 3 i was sexually assaulted by my brother who was 5. this means i struggle with the blame and everything, because i don't know if he knew better or not. and i blame myself because i was too young to say no. i repressed this memory and didn't remember it until i was about 14 (i'm 18 now). i'm trying to work through it but struggling, and i think i just really need to find people in the same situation as me so i feel less alone. 

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Hello and welcome to AS, @strugglebus! I'm glad you found your way here, though I am terribly sorry for what you went through. :( You were so young...such a baby. You didn't deserve it. Please know that you were not at fault. You were too young to know anything (anything! Seriously!), so there is NO way that you could know to say "no" or know that what was happening was wrong. So please try to work on not blaming yourself. You were an innocent child. Even though your brother was young as well, he knew more. He shouldn't have done what he did to you. Children can abuse, too. 

My brother was also my abuser, and I still live with him, too. So I can understand how difficult it can be. :console: I'm so sorry. 

You will find a lot of very friendly and supportive people here. You're not alone. ❤️ Sending you lots of support and comfort! Take care. :) 

-Finch

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Hi strugglebus.

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what happened to you as a child. This was wrong and sadly other children can be abusers, tho this young...he likely learned this behavior from someone else. It doesn't make this right or easier. 

Feel free to look around the site. There are many here with many circumstances, but as you already see from above with @mini.finch, you already found someone who relates to your person circumstance. Even if the situation is different, do know there is a thread that connects us all. Therefore I, and many others here, can offer support, understanding and validation to you. 

I am glad you found us and I wish you many steps forward on this path of healing. 

Mary

:youcanheal:

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Hi @strugglebus

Welcome to AS. I'm sorry for the trauma you have experienced, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This is a kind and caring community and we are all here to support each other and help each other heal. Please know that what happened was not your fault and you did not deserve what happened. The blame does not lie with you. You are not alone. Talking with other survivors can help to validate your emotions and experiences. You are welcome to post on the site whenever you need support. 

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7 hours ago, MeBeMary said:

Hi strugglebus.

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what happened to you as a child. This was wrong and sadly other children can be abusers, tho this young...he likely learned this behavior from someone else. It doesn't make this right or easier. 

Feel free to look around the site. There are many here with many circumstances, but as you already see from above with @mini.finch, you already found someone who relates to your person circumstance. Even if the situation is different, do know there is a thread that connects us all. Therefore I, and many others here, can offer support, understanding and validation to you. 

I am glad you found us and I wish you many steps forward on this path of healing. 

Mary

:youcanheal:

hi :) i totally understand what you're saying here but (thankfully?) i know where he got his behavior from and he wasn't abused or anything, but i know that is a common thing

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@strugglebus

Welcome to AS. This group has been very supportive since I’ve been here. I’m quite new here also. Take very good care of yourself, YOU are alone, neva. 💗

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Dear strigglebus

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

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Welcome @strugglebus to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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