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I'm Still Hurting



I was doing so well for so long until recently. I decided that I should get help for what happened to me and by realizing that I need help I guess it has made me think about what happened to me. Since I have joined this community, my nightmares have returned and I am finding more and more triggers that remind me of what happened on that day. I thought that by reaching out for help I would be able to move past what happened and I hoped that I would be able to live with it easier than I am right now.

I've been waking up the past couple of nights from nightmares. Every time my attacker is there but in each dream he is doing different things to me. Sometimes in the dreams he is sweet and caring but I am still on edge because I don't know what he might do and in my other dreams its like I am reliving everything that has happened. I don't know if I can keep going on like this. It's getting harder to get out of bed or to find the motivation I need to do my homework and other daily activities. I can't keep living like this and I don't want to live like this anymore.


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I’m so sorry. I was on this sight a year ago and it triggered me a lot so I quit getting on it. Different things help at different times. For me I wrote details diary internees about what happened, for some this can have a back wards effect and send them in to reliving in. But for me it really helped. And I also drew pictures of memories that lived in my head . They were hella disturbing , but it helped me get out what was trapped inside and I talked to who ever felt safe. (Still do) don’t give up💙 and it’s not ur fault, it never was. U didnr deserve it, who ever did it to u Is the one who’s gross not u, their the sick ones not u. Please remember that and feel free to reach out to me:throb:

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Hi,  I hope you are doing better since this post.    I have been on and off of this site.  As for the helpfulness or making things worse, I guess it can go either way and good points.     My memories surfaced for me many years ago - I had repressed them completely for twenty some years.  And then I had the tools to work on recovering from what had happened and they came to the surface.     

Also I've had more recent trauma and spent the last 6 months attempting to get into a DBT program.  So I put things aside and Got better!  Sometimes time does heal.  I was more present for the recent trauma OUCH!    yet, maybe because I was conscious and didn't have to repress it?   I then healed by letting it go and resting to restore my energy?    

Aspects of trauma and healing are a mystery, I think.  


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