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Invisible~

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    Survivor

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  1. Invisible~

    The ball room

    On the dance floor I’m spinning Guys twirl me, in hopes they may be winning Dance after dance they’re all the same Acting like I’m a prize, the ultimate game Stretching out their hand as invitation, asking if I want to play No, I don’t want to, but I take their hand any way Suddenly He grabs my hand, imagining his own success Whispers in my ear, calling me his princess Guys try for another dance, but he won’t let go of my hand My stair begs for help, but none of them under stand Spinning and spinning, every third spin , I see you The on
  2. Invisible~

    that night

    Possible trigger warning ⚠️ Omg I think about that too! How ever daim day of my life I remember him. Every time I try to get close to some one,, I remember him. Eveytime I wear a dress with out shorts underneath, I remember him. But does he remember anything he did? Does he stay up at night crying and feeling hopeless and regret and pain?...no, doughtful
  3. I’m so sorry. I was on this sight a year ago and it triggered me a lot so I quit getting on it. Different things help at different times. For me I wrote details diary internees about what happened, for some this can have a back wards effect and send them in to reliving in. But for me it really helped. And I also drew pictures of memories that lived in my head . They were hella disturbing , but it helped me get out what was trapped inside and I talked to who ever felt safe. (Still do) don’t give up💙 and it’s not ur fault, it never was. U didnr deserve it, who ever did it to u Is the one who’s g
  4. Invisible~

    Nov. 2016

    Enigma87, thank you so much for sharing your story here. I’m so sorry he resurfaced in to your life, but I’m so proud of you for telling your family and others around u, It’s always comforting to hear that some else understands the feelings from trauma bc it reminds me I’m not alone, but it’s so heart breaking at the same time bc it means someone is hurting that much. I’m so sorry for all the pain u feel. It’s normal to lie to ur self about the abuse. Like u said it’s ur way of protecting ur self . our bodies know when we are emotionally able to except the truth, and that’s the moment w
  5. Invisible~

    College

    Totally normal ur feelings are things I’ve felt and still feel. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting better, but other moments I feel like I’m trapped in fear. Thank you for sharing. I helped me not feel alone
  6. Invisible~

    Nov. 2016

    No one understands and i know people are annoyed with me i feel so lost So alone. I cant talk to anyone bc i know people dont want to hear it anymore and counclors are once a week help, but who do I talk to when I have a flash back in the middle of a meeting? In the middle of work? In the middle of the congregation? In the middle of driving down the fricken road? Who do i talk to when everyones happy and im laughing but i feel like i cant breath. When on the inside of me i feel fear and horro? councling is ONLY a hour a week out of 168. And all they do is tell me the same crap o
  7. Invisible~

    Her and me

    June 2018 Watching me, she’s sees me crying She knows why. She knows he’s lying “I’m sorry” I hear her whisper Leaning in, I can’t believe I kissed her.. On the cheek The silence is to much, but she still won’t speak The tranquility is to much for me to bare Breaking the stillness, even tho I shouldn’t dare “Can u tell me things u don’t know to b true Can u tell me the future about me and u Can u tell me I’ll have a girl baby Will u tell me loves is a definite, not just a maybe Will u tell me it’s all right ,Things will ge
  8. Trigger warning.. ⚠️
  9. 2017 All this is embarrassing and shameful to say. But I need you to hear me. This is the only time I have to confront u.... Now I want to talk to you about that night that brought us here. But I want to tell it as if I were you and you were me, I hope you see the type of husband you were.I want you to picture yourself half the size and strength of me. Now see yourself sitting in pile of dirty laundry crying while I'm yelling over you and between your sobs you're trying to stick up for yourself but I just yell louder. Now see yourself looking up and seeing your son screaming and cryi
  10. Invisible~

    Ocean waves

    Trigger warning ⚠️ I thought I loved him, because it didn’t feel safe to believe anything else. I finally feel safe enough to not love him and be ok with that. And to not blame my self. I hope everyone knows it’s NoT Your Fault
  11. Invisible~

    Ocean waves

    2017 *I see the ocean waves move across the ocean floor *And I remember how you said I'd always be some one you'd adore *But no one knew Knew the some one inside of you *I feel the cold breeze *I fall and hit my knees *The water chaps me *I see you slap me *I relive my fears *I start to scream but no one hears *Just like no one ever heard *And I rehear it, every mean word *The waves hit the ground hard and take my breath away *I can feel u strangle me, like you did that day *The sands hard and scra
  12. Invisible~

    Trapped

    *Drowning, im pulloted by Doubt and fear *Seeing ahead, I’m looking but I can’t see clear *Who would’ve thought one person could take Another to a place so dark, so deep *Sanity: I grasp, I reach, but it’s not something I can keep * you can’t touch me, and no part of u is inside of me * I hate you so much, I just want ur memory behind of me *waking up, feeling around to verify your not in my bed *you haven’t touched me in years, the only way u hurt me now, is in my head * silence surrounds me, yet I still hear your voice * but I tell you “NO”
  13. Invisible~

    Court

    Outside it’s raining inside it’s cold I see some faces are new, some are old There’s lawyers, a judge and Mr. L Unaware the truth is a story I’m about to tell “Raise your right hand” Shaking but I still stand The judge says “I know this is hard do you need a break” I keep going because I have nothing left to take Everyone staring, all eyes on me His stair hurts the most, it lingers to haunt me “ can you describe that night in detail” Can I describe that night in front of Mr. L “Finger prints on my thighs” He doesn’t look surprise
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